Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can occur in someone with narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder occurs when someone has an exaggerated or inflated sense of their importance. It is different from narcissism because narcissistic personality disorder is linked to your genes and your environment.

A person with narcissistic rage may feel that another person or event in their life is threatening or may damage their self-esteem or self-worth.

They may act and feel grandiose and superior to others. For example, they may demand special treatment and honor even if they appear to have done nothing to earn it.

People with narcissistic personality disorder may have an underlying sense of insecurity and feel unable to handle anything they perceive as criticism.

When their “true self” is exposed, a person with narcissistic personality disorder may also feel threatened, and their self-esteem is crushed.

As a result, they may react with a variety of emotions and actions. Anger is just one of these symptoms, but it is often one of the most obvious.

Frequent unreasonable reactions occur in people with other conditions as well. If you or a loved one experiences these tantrums frequently, it is important to get a proper diagnosis and find the best treatment.

WhatDoesItLookLike?

We all want attention and admiration from the people around us.

But people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder may react with narcissistic rage when they are not given the attention they feel they deserve.

This rage may take the form of screaming and yelling. Selective silence and passive-aggressive avoidance can also occur with narcissistic rage.

Most narcissistic rages are on a continuum of behavior. On the one hand, the person may be withdrawn and isolated. Their goal may be to hurt someone else through absence.

On the other hand, there are outbursts and explosive actions. Here again, the goal may be to turn the “hurt” they feel into an attack on someone else as a form of defense.

It is important to remember that not all narcissistic rages are narcissistic rages. Anyone can have a rage, even if they don’t have narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic rage is just one component of narcissistic personality disorder. Other conditions can also cause rage-like episodes, including:

• Paranoid delusion
• Bipolar disorder
• Depressive episodes

What can trigger narcissistic rage?

There are three main reasons why narcissistic rages occur.

Damaged self-esteem or self-respect

Despite their inflated opinion of themselves, people with narcissistic personality disorder often hide their self-esteem, which can be easily damaged.

When they are “hurt,” narcissists tend to attack as a first line of defense. They may feel that cutting off someone or intentionally hurting them with words or violence can help them protect themselves.

Challenging their confidence

People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to try to build confidence in themselves by constantly slipping away with lies or false personas.

When someone pressures them and reveals weakness, people with narcissistic personality disorder may feel inadequate. These unwanted feelings can cause them to attack as a form of protection.

Self-Questioned

If people reveal that someone with NPD is not as capable or talented as they may pretend to be, this challenge to their sense of self may lead to an outburst of aggression and cruelty.

How Narcissistic Personality Disorder Is Diagnosed

Narcissistic personality disorder can cause problems in a person’s life, relationships, work, and financial situation.

People with narcissistic personality disorder often have delusions of superiority, grandiosity, and entitlement. They may also experience additional problems such as addictive behavior and narcissistic rage.

But narcissistic rage and other issues related to narcissistic personality disorder aren’t as simple as anger or stress.

A health care provider or mental health professional such as a therapist or psychiatrist can diagnose the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. This can help someone with narcissistic personality disorder and rage symptoms find the right help they need.

There are no definitive diagnostic tests. Instead, your healthcare provider will ask for and review your medical history as well as behaviors and reactions from people in your life.

How to Deal with Narcissistic Anger at Someone Else

People in your life who have narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic rage have many resources to get help.

However, it can sometimes be difficult to find the right help, as many treatment options have not been validated by research.

According to a 2009 report in Psychiatric Annals, there haven’t been many studies done on treatments for narcissistic personality disorder and people who experience narcissistic rage as a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder.

So while psychotherapy may work for some people, it’s not necessarily effective for everyone with narcissistic personality disorder. And not all mental health professionals even agree on how to diagnose, treat, and manage the disorder.

A 2015 study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that the variety of symptoms that can occur for each individual with narcissistic personality disorder can make it difficult to make a definitive diagnosis of what “type” of narcissistic personality disorder someone has:

Overt. Symptoms are obvious and easier to diagnose according to DSM-5 criteria.

Invisible. Symptoms aren’t always visible, and behaviors or mental health conditions associated with narcissistic personality disorder, such as resentment or depression, can be difficult to diagnose.
“High-functioning personality.” It can be difficult or impossible to look at the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder separately from a person’s normal behavior or psychological state. They may be recognized only as generally abnormal behaviors such as pathological lying or serial infidelity.

Because conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder can often only be diagnosed by looking at observable symptoms, there may be many underlying personality traits or mental activities that are impossible to isolate into a diagnosis.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek help. Try talking to several mental health professionals and experimenting with different techniques to see what type of treatment plan works best for you.

While you or the person with narcissistic personality disorder in your life is working through their behaviors and history, others may also find it helpful to seek professional help for themselves.

You can learn techniques to manage narcissistic anger when it happens or to prepare for future episodes to reduce or address the mental and emotional distress you may feel during an episode.

At Work

Limit interactions with the individual. Trust what they say, but make sure that what they say is true or false.

People with NPD may talk about their accomplishments and abilities. But if you realize that they can’t or won’t do important tasks, prepare yourself to manage their future professional shortcomings.

Also, be careful about offering direct feedback and criticism. This can lead to an intense reaction at the moment, which can put you at personal or professional risk.

It’s not your responsibility to get the person to seek help. Your feedback or criticism may be one way you can encourage the individual to seek help.

Talk to your manager or the other person’s manager, or ask your company’s human resources department for help.

Here are some other strategies you can use to manage interactions with coworkers who may have narcissistic tendencies or tantrums:

Write down every interaction you have with them in as much detail as possible

Don’t escalate conflicts with the person, as this could hurt you or others in the workplace

Don’t take it personally or try to get back at the person

Don’t reveal too much personal information or express your opinions to the person who might be able to use them against you

Try not to be in the same room with them alone so that others can witness their behavior

Report any harassment, illegal activities, or discrimination that you notice to your company’s human resources department

In Relationship Partners

It is possible to live a healthy, productive life with someone with NPD and tantrums.

But you may both need to seek treatment and develop behavioral and communication strategies that work for your relationship.

People with narcissistic rage can be abusive. Learning how to communicate with them can help you protect yourself from physical and emotional harm. Try some of the following strategies for dealing with Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Present the most honest version of yourself to your partner, avoiding any lying or deception

Recognize the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in your partner or yourself, and do your best to communicate what’s on your mind when you exhibit certain behaviors

Don’t hold yourself or your partner to difficult or impossible standards, as this can exacerbate feelings of insecurity or inadequacy that lead to narcissistic rage

Set specific rules or boundaries within your relationship so that you and your partner know what is expected of you as a romantic partner, rather than acting on a situational basis without structure to your expectations

Seek therapy individually and as a couple so that you can work on yourself and the relationship together

Don’t think of yourself or your partner as having anything “wrong,” but identify areas that may be troubling the relationship and need work

Be confident in ending the relationship if you no longer believe the relationship is healthy for you or your partner

Friends

Limit your exposure to any friend who is physically, mentally, or emotionally abusing you through narcissistic rage.

You may want to consider removing yourself from your friendship altogether if you feel the friendship is no longer healthy or mutually beneficial.

If this is a close friend whose friendship you value, you may also want to seek help from a mental health professional.

They can help you learn behaviors that make coping easier. You may also learn behaviors that can help you manage interactions and communicate better with your friend during angry outbursts.

This can make your time together less frustrating and more fulfilling or productive.

From a Stranger

The best option is to walk away. Neither you nor the person will be able to draw any constructive conclusions from your interaction.

But realize that your actions did not cause the reaction. It was driven by underlying factors that you did not influence in any way.

How is narcissistic anger treated?

A mental health professional can help treat both narcissistic personality disorder and anger.

They can use talk therapy, or psychotherapy, to help people with narcissistic personality disorder understand their behaviors, choices, and consequences. Therapists may then work with the individual to address underlying factors.

Talk therapy can also help people with narcissistic personality disorder create new behavior plans to develop coping skills and healthy relationships.

Conclusion

Help is available for people with narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic anger. With proper diagnosis and ongoing treatment, it is possible to live a healthy, rewarding life.

In the moment, anger can seem all-consuming and threatening. Encouraging a loved one (or yourself) to seek help can spark healthier choices for you, them, and everyone else in your life.