6 seemingly minor things you should never tolerate in a relationship

Building a satisfying relationship takes work.

While it is necessary to focus on the main issues, paying attention to the little things can also help you measure the potential of your partnership.

What can seem like insignificant red flags eventually escalate, eroding trust?

Before long, you wake up wondering where things went wrong and if there’s anything you can do about it.

Here are 6 seemingly simple things you should never tolerate in a relationship.

It may seem small, but it speaks volumes.

1) canceled plans and chronic delays

If your partner is constantly canceling plans or showing up late, I strongly suggest addressing the issue as soon as possible.

It’s a sign of disrespect.

Your partner is not considerate of your time. Tolerance of this simple habit will lead you to resentment.

There is a running joke in sitcoms where a husband is waiting for his wife to get ready, and she never manages to get out the door as quickly as he wants.

That may play for laughs on TV, but it’s incredibly frustrating in real life.

I’m not talking about cases that happen once or twice.

I’m talking about when I noticed a pattern:

• Your partner constantly keeps you waiting at the appointed meeting place
• Your partner cancels plans without giving you enough notice
• Your partner cancels plans without giving you a good enough reason (not feeling like that anymore is not a good enough reason)
• You are constantly experiencing disappointment
• Their tardiness and flaking negatively affect the quality of time spent together

Chronic delays and frequent cancellations may indicate underlying problems such as a lack of interest or problems within the relationship.

Whatever it was, talking about things is highly advisable.

Which brings me to the next point.

2) procrastination in serious discussions

Is your partner avoiding serious conversations?

They may not be as committed to you as you would like.

Tolerating a lack of communication, even in seemingly trivial matters, creates a crack over time.

You probably know this, but you keep believing them when they postpone conversations.

Your partner is too tired, too nervous, too exhausted to enter into a serious discussion.

It’s not a big deal. You can talk about what bothers you tomorrow.

But tomorrow comes, and your friend is still unwilling to have a conversation.

So you tell yourself that it can wait until the weekend.

When the weekend comes, your partner has another excuse at the ready, so you agree to postpone again.

Before you know it, three months have passed.

And that thing that was bothering you?

I still haven’t found the right moment to talk about things.

3) ignore boundaries (no matter how small)

I am an introvert who craves alone time to recharge.

The right people don’t drain my social battery. But even when I’m around them, I still need a few minutes to myself now and then.

Fortunately, all my friends respected this and were never upset (I hope?) When I told them that I would be sitting in another room a little, alone.

Maybe they didn’t understand it, but they let me.

Everyone has boundaries, and if your significant other does not respect them, this is a cause for concern.

As with all the things on the list, it’s probably something so small that you feel silly tackling it:

• Your partner starts physical contact (for example, hugging and kissing) after you tell him that you need some personal space (but they are very nice!)
• Your partner makes plans for the two of you without consulting you, despite you telling him that this gives you anxiety (but they are trying to get me out of my comfort zone!)
• Your partner casually shares details about your personal experiences with others after you tell them that you want to keep some things private (but they’re talking about you; that’s nice!)
• Your partner repeatedly asks to reach for your phone to order food or quickly check something after you tell him that this makes you uncomfortable (but this makes it clear that we don’t have any secrets!)

As you can see, it’s easy to rationalize their behavior and make excuses.

It is also not the most correct approach.

It will be to remind them of your limits.

4) bad faith criticism

Partners are supposed to help each other grow, which usually includes giving constructive feedback.

The key word there is constructive.

If such comments become harmful, defend yourself.

While constructive criticism aims to make suggestions for improvement in a supportive way, ill-intentioned criticism diminishes or undermines the other person:

• It targets Your Personality, Personality, or identity rather than focusing on specific behaviors
• It often involves distorting or manipulating facts to magnify negative aspects
• Your partner shows little or no interest in the effect of his words on your feelings

Ill-intentioned criticism can be used as a tool for manipulation or control in a relationship because it negatively affects your self-worth.

Suppose your partner is unhappy with how two share household responsibilities.

In the course of constructive criticism, they would say something like: “It seems that the division of household chores is unbalanced, and I was overwhelmed by my share. Can we talk about how to tweak things to make it fairer?”

However, ill-intentioned criticism may sound like this: “You never do anything at home, I always have to clean up after you, which is exhausting. I can’t believe you’re so lazy.”

Notice the difference?

Pay attention to the tone, the language used, and the purpose of the statement.

If your boo is looking for solutions, amazing!

If they are attacking and belittling you, do not sit quietly and take it, tell yourself that they need to throw out some force.

Stand on your field.

5) sarcasm

On a similar note, ridicule is not something that you should put up with, especially if it causes you emotional harm.

Good-natured teasing is one thing, but your feelings get hurt when the banter veers from playful to spiteful.

Tell your partner about it.

Over time, harsh remarks make you doubt your worth and abilities, which leads to a shrinking sense of self.

Even when they were supposed to be funny.

You’ll trust your partner less and may even start to put up walls and act like someone you’re not to avoid becoming a target.

Things will only go downhill from there.

Start expressing your feelings to your partner calmly and sincerely.

Then, share specific cases when their harassment hurts you and ask them to tone it down.

If they care about you, they will receive the message.

6) silent treatment

Another seemingly simple thing that you should never put up with in a relationship is silent treatment.

Well, any form of withholding affection, but silent therapy is the most common.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen many cases that have arisen when spouses didn’t talk to each other because they were upset.

At some point, I recorded this as mundane. For a long time, it didn’t seem to matter if one of the partners refused to talk to me for a while when he was angry.

However, silent therapy creates a complete breakdown in communication, which makes you feel isolated and stressed.

It can also be used as a form of emotional manipulation. For example, if your partner refuses to talk to you until you satisfy his desires.

Your significant other has every right to ask for a timeout if they are angry or have things to think about, but they should be upfront about it.

Suddenly stopping all communication is a big no-no.

Call them.

If silent therapy becomes a recurring pattern, friends will start using the word “dysfunctional” when asked to describe you and your friend.

The bottom line

Unmet expectations, unaddressed grievances, small actions that annoy you – these accumulate over time.

When you finally become a major source of friction, it may be too late to find a solution.

That’s why it’s essential to talk to your partner from early on to fix the problem, hopefully strengthening your relationship in the process.

Tolerating behaviors that annoy you will keep the peace for now, but it’s a lousy long-term strategy.

Whoever tells you otherwise does not have your best interest at heart.