We have all experienced less-than-excellent behavior from others at some point.
I know that I have been in both receiving and giving for unacceptable behavior. And this is normal; we all have bad days, and while we know that we shouldn’t let that happen, emotions inevitably spread. We are only human.
But a constantly toxic relationship: this is different. It can slowly move away from our self-worth, mental health, and overall well-being.
The problem is, more often than most of us are willing to admit, romantic relationships can blind us to the glaring signs. So, how can you tell if that special person in your life is toxic?
Today, we dive into ten red flags.
Let’s get into it.
1) they often interrupt you and talk about you
Do you feel like you are struggling to get a word on the edge around them? Does she suddenly cut you off mid-sentence or fail to wait for your response completely?
Interrupting others is rude and reckless, but let’s be honest, sometimes it happens. We all have bad days here and there; sometimes, our partner gets the brunt of it. You’ve done it, you’ve done it, and your partner will do it, too.
But it should not happen all the time.
While it is important and healthy to understand your partner’s behavior, there is a point where we must draw the line.
If your partner’s disruptive behavior is constant, this is a clear sign that he does not respect you. This is even more true if they do it in the company of friends or family.
Sounds familiar?
If so, it’s probably time to address the problem because it’s a problem.
As well noted by the mind, there are several reasons why people get used to talking to others. It can be something positive like excitement, or something inherent like cultural differences, or something more evil like the need for control.
They may not even know that they are doing it.
But whatever the reason, we all deserve to feel heard in our relationships.
2) they fail to apologize sincerely or at all-when they are wrong
We all mess up from time to time. But toxic individuals refuse to be possessive and make amends for insensitive words or actions that hurt you.
Even when you call them directly, they become defensive and blame others instead of hearing you. They may even try to justify their behavior by bringing up shortcomings in your behavior from the distant past.
Spoiler alert: none of that is an apology.
If this sounds like your partner, it might be time to talk about it.
A meaningful apology requires empathy, vulnerability, and changed behavior to move on you can’t get one when it’s justified, it speaks volumes.
This next is perhaps the most toxic. If left unchecked, it can hurt you.
3) they regularly make you doubt yourself and your perceptions
Have you ever walked away from your interactions with your partner, second-guessing what you experienced?
Was it happening so often that you finally mustered the courage to confront them about saying something hurtful?
But instead of addressing it, they may have insistently insisted, “That never happened,” or “That’s not what I said at all.”
RELATED:15 phrases manipulative people use to shift blame onto their partner
Ouch.
Toxic people often constantly argue about how events fall with explanations such as “I remembered it wrong.”It’s gaslighting, which is very dangerous if we allow it to happen because, as psychology has put it today:
“The manipulations of the gas worker can become more complex and powerful, which makes it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth.”
This subtle manipulation is aimed at making you distrust your judgment – all while making you go crazy in the process.
If someone regularly challenges your memories like this, it’s bordering on manipulative, not just toxic – and should I say that?
Now is the time to address that.
4) they flake out on last-minute plans or commitments
We understand that life happens. Emergencies arise, or situations beyond our control sometimes stand in the way of proceeding.
But toxic partners are those who chronically cancel on you when you walk out the door. Even worse, it is rarely for any urgent reason that would justify short notice.
Let’s be realistic: if their excuses don’t stack up, they probably don’t respect your time.
And when it comes to that, time is all we have. Your partner should respect your partner. Period.
5) they demand inappropriate access to your devices, accounts, or personal space
We all need moments of privacy, even in our closest relationships. Controlling behaviors or jealousy that invade your boundaries is simply unacceptable.
Whether they’re insisting on knowing your email password, spying through your text messages when you leave the room, or constantly questioning you about who you’re talking to, these are giant red flags you shouldn’t ignore.
Giving others the lasting benefit of the doubt can enable toxic patterns.
You may have nothing to hide. I hope this is the case. But deep down, you know that your partner always checking you out feels good.
Don’t doubt yourself because you finally backed out – you deserve independence.
6) when you share good personal news, they react badly or try one up to you
Imagine this: you have just received a big promotion at work and are eager to share the news with your partner.
Naturally, you expect excitement and congratulations, but instead, they respond with a refusal, ‘Oh, that’s nice. But guess what happened to me today?
Sharing our wins and milestones with the people we care about feeds our souls. Or at least it should. Toxic people, however, always seem to sour the moment.
Instead of celebrating your promotion, they somehow direct the conversation towards themselves. They may even make outrageous statements like” it should be nice ” to overshadow your success.
Sure, you could put this down to being insecure, but regardless of insecurity, you deserve better support than that.
7) they expect big gestures from you but make little effort themselves
We all know that relationships involve reciprocity, compromise, and balance.
Many toxic individuals do not seem to adhere to this. They have high standards for how others should treat them without applying the same principles to their behavior.
They insist on extravagant gifts for their birthday; they want you to leave everything when they need support or public offers praising them on social media.
But when the roles are reversed, they comfortably develop amnesia about your occasions or rarely go out of their way to make you feel equally valued.
You may not think much about it now, but unequal expectations eventually breed resentment. And no one deserves to feel constantly appreciated.
It’s something you might want to talk about. Likely, they do not realize that they are doing this and will make an effort to change. Great.
However, if the reference to hypocrisy is gently ignored, it points to deeper issues of narcissism and self-absorption, and it may be time to think about whether it’s a relationship you want to be in.
8) they often make insensitive or rude remarks but justify them as “just kidding”
Playful banter between partners can strengthen bonding. But making embarrassing, offensive, or insulting comments at anyone’s expense is not a joke at all.
Toxic individuals disguise the bully’s behavior as a “sarcastic joke”, so they don’t have to take responsibility for deliberately hurting you. Then, if I mention it, they say, “I was just kidding,” or “Have fun. It was just a joke”.
Pay special attention if the irony of individual lines always tends to be about your deepest fears. You should never feel ashamed of who you are-especially from those who claim care.
9) they discourage you from spending time with other friends or family members
Controlling or jealous personalities often try to isolate their partners.
They may make indirect digs like “You don’t need to check in with your mom about everything.”Or they may completely prohibit meetings with certain people for trivial reasons.
Look, your partner is important. But they are not the only important person in your life.
You have friends and family. You should never be pressured to avoid them.
If someone cares, they celebrate what other good people add to your life and tear it down.
10) you often feel nervous, anxious, or worse than yourself in their presence
At the end of the day, listening to your gut is crucial.
Think about how spending time with your partner usually makes you feel. If you constantly feel anxious, anxious, insecure, overwhelmed, or “less than” after your interactions, it is worth assessing the cause.
You deserve people in your life who make you feel cared for, energized, appreciated-not beaten.
The bottom line
Prioritizing emotional health means removing normal sources of negativity when possible.
Red flags exist for good reason-learning the difference between a bad day and bad patterns can change everything.
If unhealthy behaviors persist despite communication efforts on your part, you may have to face hard truths. Staying away from toxic relationships takes courage, but choosing peace of mind over toxicity is never weak.
Stay strong and trust yourself.
Until next time.
