How To Love Yourself When You Hate Yourself

Knowing how to love yourself can feel impossible. Even more so when the tolerant doormat you have become fake selfish friends and Partners, your boss, toxic and, most tragically, family members – hates the cynical public in your head.

When I was in the sixth grade, I signed my yearbook with four different types of handwriting. I wrote notes to myself saying how fun and amazing I was. I even included jokes inside and went about spending the night out and pleasant memories that were not there before. These notes were supposed to be from my good/wonderful friends who went to another school.

The most disturbing thing was writing a note in which I pretended that I was a famous boy who wanted to date me.

Why did you do this?

Because it was the only way I could emotionally survive the fact that no one wanted me at all.

At that early age, lies and creativity were the only way I could cope with my nakedness. The anxiety I would have felt when I had to ask one of my classmates to sign an empty yearbook (except for some signatures and notes from teachers) was too much. All I wanted was to be wanted, accepted beautiful, cool, and enough. Five things I didn’t quite feel at home.

This behavior continued in many different ways as I got older. And because deep down, I knew how fake I was, I lost all respect for myself (which eventually led to self-hatred).

As long as you lack self–esteem, you will never respect anyone who sincerely respects you-no matter how much you claim that he wants and deserves it.

We like to think that a lack of self-esteem can coexist with an abundance of true love from another person, and it can even be extinguished.

If you don’t respect yourself, getting true love from another person will never feel the way you are convinced. She will not feel as valuable as getting disrespectful attention from people who are unable to sincerely love themselves.
Knowing how to love yourself is not difficult.

Self-love is nothing more than constantly having your back, by recognizing the value you have as a human being on the planet.

It’s about gaining confidence in your ability to act on healthy boundaries and impose high standards.

It’s about understanding that anyone who makes you feel worthless is doing it because he can’t take advantage of himself.
If you always find yourself…

• Coordinator
• Unappreciated
• Disrespect
• Abandoned
• Rejected
• Tricks

walking and eggshells in your relationships, not because you are ” unlucky in love.”It’s 100% because you have a lack of self-love.

If you are in any kind of relationship where you do not get the respect you deserve (but continue to stay and fight for your love, compete for his attention, and have to check the facts at every turn) – this is not admiration. It is a symptom of a severe lack of self-love.

If you care too much about what others think and internalize the behavior of others you do not know how to love yourself.

If you have finally gotten out of a toxic relationship where you were devalued, deceived, and disrespected but still treat yourself badly and miss him daily-it’s because you don’t Love Yourself.

If you have difficulty saying ” No ” and derive a sense of value from pleasing people, then you don’t know how to love yourself.

You could have the Dalai Lama visit you every morning and drink the water blessed by the pope and fart the peace clouds and as great as it all is-it won’t make you love yourself.

It won’t even make you love yourself.

You may feel cold for a hot minute, but it will never last and in the end, you will end up hating yourself even more. Lack of originality breeds self-hatred.

There are a lot of resources and practices that will lead you in the right direction, but if you don’t commit to getting your back, you are single-handedly robbing yourself of your destiny-not your parents, not the kids who bullied you when you were a kid, not your ex-girlfriends, not your teacher or coach or boss or your fake friends. You are the one dimming your light-not theirs. They only have so much power that you choose to give them.

If you already know all this and still don’t feel that you can love yourself, guess what this means?

This means that your comfort zone is fear.

How am I sure of this? Because it was realistic for much longer than it did not happen.

I had abandonment issues, issues with guys, issues with my exes, and issues with my parents and friends. One day, I realized that life as I knew it had become one big issue.

I became a victim of these issues. And the only hope is that the victim may be saved. So, I looked to friends, family, and men to “save me” in the form of seeing my worth enough to change their hurtful behavior.

It wasn’t them that needed to change though. It was me.

The moment I committed to treating myself no better than I was treating these friends in my yearbook (and no better than I was treating people who were never worth my time, at first), my life changed. I used my fear as fuel instead of letting it keep me in an emotional time zone I was never born to cope with.

I want you to find a photo of yourself when you are less than five years old. Find the one where you are at your happiest. This is mine (I had just spotted Minnie Mouse):

Now, take a closer look at this little one.

Take a picture of him/her and make it a screensaver and wallpaper on your phone.

I want you to imagine this: if you were walking down the street and you saw someone beating the crap out of that innocent kid in the picture who just wanted to be loved, accepted, and loved, what would you do?

I’m sure you will intervene and save the child.

Guess what? You’re still that same kid. That’s you.

And you’re not only hitting the daylight out of this kid, but you’re letting everyone else go too.

Every time you have a negative idea of who you are and blame yourself for the hurtful actions of toxic people, take a look at that photo. If you can’t hold on to the adult that you are, you certainly can hold on to the child in that photo.

Soon, you will begin to love yourself. In the end, you will attract people who appreciate this little child as much as you do because, too, they were able to find a way not to get out but to return to that child who was so much needed.

Today, I’m all that that scared girl from the sixth grade who needs to sign her yearbooks.

And because I learned to be there for her, I was able to see the brilliance in the way she decided to cope – instead of continuing to be ashamed of it.

I decided to build a medium for this creativity(this blog and my works I live for. I live to help people get out of the pain, mystery, and suffering that I know so well).

That’s when I stopped adding to the relational resume that was only important for people who were superficial because they hated themselves just as much.