Can People Change Or Is It Just Fake?

Detection of deception

There are countless stories of people who found out that they were cheated on, lied to, and manipulated, long after the honeymoon phase of their relationships was over. They find themselves betrayed by those they love and trust, leading them into a spiral of self-doubt and heartbreak. The revelation can be very shocking, forcing them to question the entire relationship, the authenticity of their partner’s love, and worst of all, their self-worth.

The blame game

Upon learning about the true nature of their partner, many people, perplexed and in pain, resort to blaming themselves. They convince themselves that they have to “do something” to bring about such a dramatic change in the behavior of their partner. But is this the case? Can someone’s actions radically transform another person?

Rethinking relationship perspectives
The illusion of perfection

Related : Are You Codependent? 3 Ways To Overcome Codependency

Many people glorify their former partners, remembering only the good times and ignoring the ugly reality. Sentences like” he was the greatest person I’ve ever known “or” How can I get her back?”It resonated in their minds. However, in this cloudy judgment, they often miss a key point. The ex-partner whom they painted as an almost perfect individual is just an illusion. They were not the best; instead, they made individuals feel their best because they fulfilled the needs that individuals struggled to satisfy themselves.

The bitter truth

The bitter pill to swallow is that these ideal partners are not the ‘greatest’, and they cannot be redeemed. They are manipulative individuals who create the illusion of perfection and charm to ensnare their victims. The belief of individuals that they cannot live without their ex-partners or find someone like them again is just a sign of their struggle with self-love and boundaries.

Processing pain and regret
Unbearable heartbreak

The pain of realizing that you have invested in a fraudulent relationship can be excruciating. It’s like investing in a Ponzi scheme, where all your emotional capital is exhausted with no return on your investment. Heartbreak is even deeper because, unlike money, an emotional investment cannot be easily recovered.

Relational Ponzi schemes

The sad truth is, that even the most successful, intelligent people fall prey to these relational Ponzi schemes. The attraction of such relationships is so strong at first that people continue to invest their feelings and emotions, hoping for a return. But what they fail to realize is that they are investing in an illusion, not a real sympathetic person. The feeling of betrayal after a revelation can be devastating.

Self-blame and pleasure sickness
Inappropriate actions or toxic behavior?

After a toxic relationship ends, many people end up blaming themselves. They think if they acted clingy, suffocating, or did something to turn their partners away. However, they fail to understand that even if they do, a non-toxic person will not just take advantage of the situation without communication. They will either address the problem or, in extreme cases, end the relationship respectfully.

Breaking the cycle of self-blame

What people need to understand is that they have not lost a gem. They suffer because they are stuck in a vicious cycle of pleasing people, and the end of the relationship feels like a personal failure to them. But the truth is far from that. No one can make a decent person give up his morality or sympathy just by being himself.

Personality control
Non-toxic personality signs

In a relationship, you understand a person better by observing how they treat others around them – their friends, family, children, or even the restaurant staff. A non-toxic person may have annoying habits, but he has character, integrity, and empathy. They stand by you just as they stand for themselves.

Characteristic features of a toxic personality

On the other hand, toxic people are masters of deception. She can seem perfect at first and show you everything that she dreamed of. You may fall in love with their potential, ignore red flags and even put your life at risk to fit in with theirs.
Jekyll and Hyde from relationships
Investing in potential

Toxic people lure you into a beautiful dream, only to finally break it. You find yourself working hard to restore the initial bliss, but it only seems to bother them. They turn the table, making you feel like the culprit when you are left emotionally bankrupt.

The burden of unmet expectations

The truth is harsh but vital for understanding. They have not changed over time. It’s just that you didn’t know them very well at first. People reveal their true selves over time, and your partner’s true personality eventually emerges.

Related : Know When To Walk Away: 15 Non-Negotiable Red Flags To Look Out For

Facing the reality of change
Accept an unchanging personality

Remember that people do not change radically. Your ex-partner presented himself as a precious golden penis, only to reveal an unworthy stained metal over time. Their change is not a reflection of your value but a sign that they were never original.

Fake expulsion

Personality involves more than just matching actions with words. It’s about showing consistent patterns over time. Your ex lacked character, but that shouldn’t make you lose confidence in yourself or love. It’s time to leave and expel the fake. And remember, it’s about recognizing the shit, not the gold that attracted you to it.
Frequently asked questions

1. Can people change their basic personalities?

It is very rare that people dramatically change their basic characters. While people can develop and grow over time, the basic aspects of their personality tend to remain stable.

2. Why do people initially show a different side of themselves in a relationship?

In the early stages of a relationship, often called the ‘honeymoon phase,’ people tend to give their best. This may involve hiding some negative aspects of their personality. Only with time does their true nature begin to reveal itself.

3. How can I avoid falling into a toxic relationship in the future?

Look for consistent behavior over time. Early in the relationship, notice how they treat others, especially those for whom they cannot do anything. Be sure to set boundaries and make sure that they respect those boundaries.

4. What should I do if I find myself in a toxic relationship?

If you realize that you are in a toxic relationship, the first step is to admit it. From there, you can seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor. It is important to prioritize your mental and emotional health and well-being.

5. How can I heal from the effects of a toxic relationship?

Healing from a toxic relationship involves time and self-care. Seek advice if necessary, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and surround yourself with positive influences. It is important to remember that the other person’s lack of personality is not reflected in your worth.

Conclusion

In life, we often encounter individuals who disguise their true intentions with charming behavior and convincing narratives. The fact is that people rarely change their basic characters. Rather, over time, they reveal their true selves.

It is necessary to remember that the person you initially liked is not the one with whom you find yourself involved at the end of a toxic relationship. It’s not you who made them change. Rather, her true nature was surfacing over time, which was initially hidden due to the intoxication of the honeymoon phase.

Just like investing in a Ponzi scheme where promising returns are nothing but smoke and mirrors, investing emotionally in a deceitful and manipulative person is likely to leave you feeling cheated and devastated. But do not blame yourself, just as the smartest investors can fall into a Ponzi scheme, even the most loving individual can fall into a toxic relationship.

A crucial part of healing is recognizing the difference between change and revelation. This understanding will allow you not only to mend your broken heart but also provide you with wisdom to avoid falling into a similar trap in the future. Remember that a person who lacks integrity, honesty, and empathy is not a reflection of your worth, but evidence of his lack of character. You deserve someone whose actions match consistent patterns over time.