When we think about toxic behavior, most of us probably cast our minds to portray an abusive person who most likely suffers from pathological narcissism and is therefore incapable of actual change. However, is this how we define narcissistic abuse so clearly? Maybe we all survived narcissism on some level. Are the effects of narcissism more far-reaching after Behavior Analysis? As it turns out, there is another form, which is often elusive but rampant – everyday narcissism.
So, who suffers from this low-grade version of narcissism? The answer is You, Me, and most of the other people we know. The problem is that narcissistic behavior is not useful to anyone and makes our lives less contented. Let’s discuss the narcissism checklist.
What causes everyday narcissism?
To be honest, society. Everyday narcissism is taught to us in childhood by our parents, teachers, and other adults in our lives. We are all, to some extent, victims of narcissism, although we don’t like to think about things that way. As we get older, the world around us reinforces these childhood wounds; we are not good enough and we must continue to follow traditional societal rules to become loved. Feelings are secondary in our quest to become ‘accepted’ members of society. The problem is that even when we achieve success, the wound remains. No wonder PTSD and narcissism are some of the topics discussed.
Sometimes, it is difficult to recognize this variety of narcissism. You may feel exhausted or in a low mood after spending time with someone but you are not sure why. Learn to recognize everyday narcissism through the following examples so that you can emotionally distance yourself from it and maintain your inner peace.
Bragging and name-dropping
Next on the narcissism checklist, have you ever spent time with an individual who spends the bulk of the conversation talking about many other people you don’t even know? Have you found yourself sitting through a monologue detailing other people’s achievements and how far their lives are going and feeling emotionally drained afterward? The reason is that you are on the receiving end of everyday narcissism. Unlike a funny anecdote or a sincere, weak conversation, joint bragging serves no purpose for the listener. Don’t care if this person has social connections with someone they consider remarkable, who may have recently gotten a job promotion or moved to a bigger house; why you?
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In most cases, bragging and dropping the name are unconscious behaviors, which can be explained by PTSD and narcissism. They exist to strengthen the ego and improve the social status of a theoretically speaking person. Once you understand the psychology behind this habit, you will be able to feel less like a victim of narcissism and let it wash over you instead of letting it affect your mood.
Courtesy back of the hand
One of the dangers of narcissism is its subtlety and how easy it is to do harm mindlessly. A compliment with the back of the hand embodies how important it is to be conscious of your words. If anyone has told you something along the lines of the following examples, know that you are dealing with everyday narcissism.
“Wow! This dress makes you look thin.”
“I did a surprisingly good job of achieving this rating.”
“I bet you looked great when you were younger.”
When examined, such assertions are covered-up insults. We’ve probably all been guilty at some point of inadvertently giving a backhanded compliment – there’s a fine line between being honest and saying something harmful, however. Always watch your words.
After the herd
Are you, or someone you know, struggling to form or make membership preferences or decisions? Do you watch others blindly follow the pack without thinking rationally about whether it is right to do so? If so, chances are you are a victim of narcissism.
Contrary to popular belief, most people with narcissistic personality disorder are very worried about integrating into society. This anxiety is near the top of the narcissism checklist. Narcissists want to be famous, and respected and present a picture of success to the world. Underlying these desires is an emotional longing for belonging at the expense of an independent thought process and the opportunity to satisfy individual needs. Analysis of the behavior of the masses reveals that this way of working has become widespread.
So, what can we do about everyday narcissism?
Low-grade narcissism has become so entrenched in society that it often passes without a doubt. We carry childhood wounds as adults and, as a result, inadvertently injure others in everyday life. It is a vicious circle that only leads to sadness and discontent. The remaining narcissism is undoubtedly not a party.
Now it’s time to examine everything that society has led you to believe in yourself. Made to feel unloved or never good enough, despite your best efforts? Did you feel shame for being different from the stereotypical person? Where did this idea originate? Can adults now see how wrong that is?
Look inside and treat your wounds consciously, one by one. Fight the myths planted by everyday narcissism and return your inner being mother. Wake yourself up to become fully aware of your behavior and how to address others. You are fine as you are, after all.
