Instead of trying to get revenge on them or trying to make their lives hell like they did to you, try something different.
Because when dealing with a narcissist, none of these things ever work. They always turn any strategy to their advantage in one way or another. They are always twisting the story one way or another and manipulating you into accepting their side.
Narcissists have a false sense of self-worth and a lack of empathy. They can’t understand how you feel, and they don’t care. They believe they are the most important people, and nothing will ever change that.
There’s only one thing they want from you. It’s your energy and ability to make them happy. It’s called “narcissistic supply” and as long as they get it from you, they’ll stick around.
If you cut off the supply, they will move on to the next victim and act as if they have never met you which will make you very happy.
After a lot of bullying, because narcissists are actual bullies, the only thing you want is for them to leave you alone.
Why do you supply a narcissist?
You’re not doing it on purpose. It is human nature (at least most humans) to help others when they need it, especially if we are talking about someone close to you, or someone dear to you.
You will completely ignore your needs and run away to save someone you love. Whether it’s your child or any of your family members, this is something your instinct will prompt you to do.
Now, the man you unfortunately fell in love with is a narcissist. Of course, you could never see that coming. He was charming, a real piece of work. This of course has also changed over time.
All this charm and this kind of suspiciously good behavior disappeared overnight and showed its true colors. B, however, it was too late. You already loved him, and you couldn’t stay away from him.
This is their game. This is what they do best. They trick you long enough for you to fall in love with them, and then they start terrorizing you because they know you won’t leave that easily.
Because you loved him, you thought you could help him. This was your biggest mistake, and that’s how you gave him the supplies.
Every time he does something terrible, every time he hurts you, you step back and show compassion. You have fed it enough energy to continue living until it runs out. Then he will do it again.
To disarm him and get away from him, you have to be smarter than him. You have to be more prepared, and I mean prepared for anything.
What kind of narcissist is he?
There are a few types of narcissists, and not all of them behave the same way. Believe it or not, some narcissists appear shy upon first impression, narcissists who are in a relationship just for the money, or traditional and classic people who pretend to be something they are not.
You have to determine the type of narcissist you are dealing with so that you know everything about his behavior and try to understand why he does certain things and why he behaves the way he does.
You have to learn his game if you want to beat him at it. You have to be one step ahead of him.
Pretend that everything is fine
This is not an easy step to do. You’re going to have to swallow your pride and put up with a lot of bullshit to complete this. It’s not easy, and not everyone has the courage and courage to complete it.
What you need to do is shut up, agree to everything they say, practically make him think that everything is fine, and continue playing his game, but don’t let him doubt your commitment to him.
Don’t make him suspect that you are doing all this just to take his mind off the fact that you might leave him. You have to trick him into thinking that everything is fine, that he has never been better.
And at the right moment, leave
When you have planned everything and when you have firmly decided that you can leave him and never see him again, do it.
But first, you have to find a place to live, make sure you have support, and are surrounded by people who love you.
Setting boundaries
Decide what your limits are, but there’s one more thing you need to do.
Since narcissists can twist everything you say and convince you that some things that happened didn’t happen — or that they happened differently than you claim — the smartest thing is to write down your boundaries, so he doesn’t trick you into thinking something else.
This way you have written down on a piece of paper exactly what you said, and no one will be able to convince you otherwise.
When you leave him, he will bother you to come back. That’s when you have to set those boundaries and trust me, he will try to break every single one of them. The stronger you are when it comes to your boundaries, the faster he will leave you.
cut all “sorry”
These words shouldn’t be in your vocabulary anymore, at least as long as he’s in the picture. You have nothing to feel sorry for when it comes down to it. You are not the one who took advantage of it. You are not the one who is hurting him. He did all these things for you.
The things he did to you are not rational, and a healthy mind would find it difficult to understand them. It’s not your fault that it’s this way. So, yeah, saying sorry is out of the question.
If you apologize to him to make him stop bothering you or to try to reason with him so that the apology is just a way to try to diffuse the situation, then don’t do it. This will only make things worse because he won’t stop there.
He’ll pull out something he remembers that happened months ago, just to make you feel like messing around. There is no way to win in this situation except by not accepting the apology.