Have you ever been involved with a narcissist? If you have, it is unfortunate that you know everything about its properties and how it works.

You know that every narcissist has a way of dragging you into an endless cycle of manipulation and emotional abuse.

Once you get into this cycle and once they see that they have power over you, it is difficult to get out of it and break free from narcissistic abuse.

The thing about narcissists is that they seem completely normal, reassuring, and charming in the early stages of getting to know them.

They are cool, calm, collected and always have a way with words. They are smooth, brave and alert.

They slowly make you let your guard down, bare your soul and trust them to the fullest extent, and just when you think they can’t be more amazing, they reveal their true selves.

Narcissists are the most dangerous creatures on earth. They win you over with lies and manipulation, just to steal your independence and trust.

Narcissists choose their victims carefully. They usually aim to find people who seem nice, kind, reasonable, and are a pleasure to please.

They need someone who doesn’t believe that people can be so evil and toxic for no apparent reason.

They need someone who believes there is good in everyone, because that is the only type of person they can fool into pleasing them.

Most people have a hard time recognizing their narcissist’s spell, and later breaking free from it, and let me tell you…it’s very difficult.

Related : 10 phrases manipulators use to make you feel guilty, according to psychology

But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I am living proof of that.

After years spent as a victim of a narcissist, she was finally able to find a way to break free from his abuse. Here’s how I did it.

detachment

One of the first things I had to do if I was planning to break the narcissist’s spell was to completely separate myself from him.

Of course, you need to distance yourself from this person physically, but more importantly, separate yourself from them mentally and emotionally.

Staying away from this man means cutting all ties with him and cutting off all contact with him. It meant that I had to find the strength to end all possible interactions with this man and everyone associated with him.

But when it comes to psychological detachment, it means forcing myself not to think about it. It meant I had to stop trying to find reasons for what he did to me.

That I had to stop replaying in my mind everything that happened and why things turned out the way they did.

I won’t lie and say it was an easy task. It was a very difficult thing I went through and I had to stop caring about him to stop thinking about him and his actions.

Breaking the narcissist’s spell depends on your ability to accept the fact that sometimes you will not be able to break your spell.

You will not be given a reason as to why you had to go through all this torture and you will simply need to embrace it, accept it, and move on and clear your mind of it.

That’s what I did and over time, it wasn’t as difficult as it was in the beginning and became just a distant memory that I barely think about anymore.

control anger

But if you allow these negative feelings to consume you, you become like the person you are trying to escape from.

That’s why I knew I had to find a way to control my anger.

I realized that my narcissist wanted me to feel down because that was a sign that I was losing control of myself, which automatically gave him power over me.

Related : 9 Ways To Spot A Narcissist On A First Date

So whenever a narcissist tried his best to get to me, I did my best to show him that he didn’t bother me.

Narcissists are counting on you to lose your wits and give in to anger and frustration.

They feed your crisis and aim to prolong it because that is what gives them life and reason to continue their malicious efforts.

But when you stop yourself in time and realize that this is exactly what he wants, you will find it in yourself not to give in to temptations and you will remain calm, calm, and collected.

It would be sweet revenge, trust me. When your narcissist sees that he can no longer have this massive influence over you, he will realize that you are no longer under his spell.

And this is where you get your first win over him.

Acceptance

One of the things that has helped me a lot in the process of breaking the narcissist’s spell is accepting him as he is.

And accepting that he was not the man I wanted or needed in my life.

After years of trying to get to the bottom of this man and trying to understand the reasons behind his actions, I’ve accepted that he wasn’t a mystery, he was just an idiot. And there was nothing I could do about it.

I stopped trying to find the good sides of this man and clung to them. I stopped making excuses for him and stopped trying to justify his behavior.

I accepted that he would never change and that I couldn’t save him, as much as I was trying to do so. It has brought me liberation.

Many of us are guilty of lying to ourselves and finding lots of excuses to keep them in our lives.

But to what end? How much is too much? How long will you keep feeling like crap?

When you ask yourself that, you realize that until you set a limit on how much you can continue to take this medication, it will never get better.

Accept him as a sociopath and run away from him. This is the only way to break free from his spell.

I trust myself

So when I decided it was time to walk away from this man, I had to learn to trust myself again.

In the beginning, I was writing down the events and our dialogues so that he could not later distort and change what happened.

For a while, I kept telling myself that I wasn’t crazy and that I wasn’t imagining things.

I had to convince myself that I knew how to express myself. He was intentionally choosing to misinterpret my words, actions, and feelings so he could manipulate me more easily.

When I realized that I was the rational one and that nothing he said could change what happened between us, I regained control and no longer asked for his approval or approval.

I trust myself and my mind and can no longer compromise on that. This drove him completely crazy.

Without control and power over you, they are nothing but an insecure shell of a human being.

Take back control

That’s why I had to take back control of my life if I wanted to get rid of this manipulator.

I knew I had to show him that I was responsible for myself and that he couldn’t do anything about it.

The truth is that it took me a long time before I regained control of myself, but the goal was to show him that he couldn’t influence me anymore.

The goal was to prove to him that he did not influence me anymore.

This is exactly the way to hurt a narcissist and what makes him lose interest in abusing you even more and this is the thing that drives the narcissist away.

Take your life back into your own hands and don’t let a manipulative narcissist dictate your lifestyle.

Do not allow it to control your thought process and prevent it from entering your mind.

You are a strong, powerful woman who can hunt down this sociopath and break his spell.

All you need is a little perseverance and a good support system.

Kick this fucker out and don’t let him back into your life again.