Do you know someone who suffers from a grandiosity complex?
They likely lack empathy, need constant attention, and can become quite aggressive when challenged.
In other words, they’re arrogant (and difficult to deal with).
Unfortunately, these personalities are more common than you might think.
But here’s the good news.
By looking at scientific studies and research papers, we can find some very effective techniques for dealing with these undesirable characteristics.
With that in mind, let’s dive in.
Here are six clever tricks to put a narcissist in his or her place, based on actual psychology.
1) Be assertive
This is important.
Narcissists are constantly trying to gain (and maintain) control. Whether it’s about you, a situation, or a story, they will try to dominate to serve their own needs.
Don’t let them do it!
“When dealing with a narcissist, you need to be assertive about your boundaries…” says licensed mental health counselor Basma Anwar.
This part is so true.
Setting boundaries shows strength and resistance, which helps you assert some control over the interaction.
In other words, if you don’t set boundaries, they’ll take advantage of you.
But think about your tone and choose your words carefully because deep down, narcissists may have low self-esteem. This means they often get defensive and lash out if they feel threatened.
According to psychology, a calm, detached approach works best.
Boundary-setting statements like, “I’m happy to continue this conversation as long as we remain respectful.” send a powerful signal.
You’re taking charge and making it clear that you won’t tolerate their bullshit.
Remember, narcissists are usually just trying to get a reaction. Don’t waste your time trying to reason with them or argue your case. Petty emotional conflict is exactly what they want.
2) Use Humor
I know what you’re thinking.
This may not come naturally (it certainly didn’t for me), but humor can be an incredibly powerful tool to disarm a narcissist.
Here’s the thing.
Charm, wit, or a well-timed joke that gently highlights their grandiose behavior can lighten the mood and make your observations heard.
Trust me, there’s science behind it.
Humor not only helps us feel safe in social situations, but it also instills trust and bonds us with each other.
We can’t help but bond with someone who is genuinely funny and relatable.
So, it should come as no surprise that if you can make a narcissist laugh, they’ll be more receptive to your opinion.
But don’t be too aggressive in your comedy routine.
Psychological studies show that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder don’t enjoy laughing at themselves.
RELATED:This Method Is A Must-Have When Co-parenting With A Narcissist
Especially if they’re vulnerable narcissists. This is associated with insanity, rejection, and fragile self-esteem.
Keep it light.
Make sure you’re laughing with them rather than at them (attacking them).
3) Stop Your Emotions (Don’t Argue)
Narcissists use insults and criticism to provoke you.
This is called projection.
The main reason is to hide or distract from their insecurities.
So there’s absolutely no point in taking things personally. Instead, listen to them but take what they say with a grain of salt.
It’s a case of if you get angry, you lose.
According to psychology, people on the narcissistic spectrum have a strong desire to win arguments. They sometimes don’t even realize what they’re doing and like to play the victim (by blaming you).
Whatever you do, don’t apologize.
This validates their feelings and gives them control.
Simply put, don’t fall for it. It’s emotional blackmail and a form of manipulation.
You can even try the Grey Rock method.
This involves acting as uninteresting as possible until they lose interest. It’s especially effective against attention seekers.
4) Don’t feed the beast
I’m talking about giving them ammunition.
Things like personal information or private stories from your past. Anything they can use against you.
It can be difficult. And it can be embarrassing.
Narcissists are experts at getting you to open up. They may start by confiding in you or sharing their secrets.
But if you suspect they’re a narcissist with bad intentions, keep it light.
Research shows that narcissists love secrets.
Why? Think about it.
If they know your secrets, they have power. They can use that information as leverage to assert control over you.
So don’t feed them!
5) Get Help
It may not be available in the heat of battle but try to find others who can support you in the future. Because one of the things narcissists love to do is isolate you or make you doubt yourself.
This is called psychological manipulation, and psychology suggests it’s the narcissist’s weapon of choice.
Any third-party support will validate your point of view and counter this vicious form of psychological manipulation.
It could be something relatively simple.
They may just be trying to convince you of their version of events (to protect their ego). Sometimes it can be an element of sadistic pleasure. Narcissists often find satisfaction in confusing people.
Or it could be something more serious.
A coworker may be preemptively spreading rumors, damaging your professional reputation, and inciting a campaign to cancel.
Even worse, if you’re romantically involved with a toxic self-centered person, the more support you can get from others, the better.
This brings us to our final (and final) way to deal with high-level narcissists.
6) Walk Away
In extreme cases, the most effective way to deal with a narcissist is to remove yourself from the situation entirely.
Especially if you feel it’s affecting your well-being.
But be careful.
This is easier said than done (especially if you’re emotionally attached).
And psychology agrees that this isn’t an easy option.
Here’s why.
Narcissists can be extremely charming and “teasing” when you threaten to leave them. They may adopt a love-bombing strategy to get you back.
In other words, acknowledge their undying love for you and beg for forgiveness. They shower you with love and affection.
This will inevitably lead to confusion and hesitation on your part.
But stay strong.
Ultimately, if all else fails and they show no sign of changing, you may just need to rip the band-aid off and move on with your life.
