I’m sure you’ve heard about the five love languages ​​and their importance for every successful and healthy romantic relationship.

But did you know that not everyone uses and understands it the same way?

In the same way that a narcissist and an empath differ in almost all aspects of life, they also have opposing ways of interpreting these love languages.

Narcissists are known to be obsessed only with their own being, and thus use these five love languages ​​for their own benefit.

Empaths, on the other hand, always put other people’s needs before their own, which makes them a perfect target for every narcissist because they have exactly what the narcissist needs to go after them.

Words of affirmation

The first love language that every couple uses in a romantic relationship is the language of affirming the other person.

Related : The Narcissist’s Playbook: How Narcissists Cause Arguments

It gives you a chance to boost your partner’s self-esteem and help him see that everything he does for the relationship is appreciated.

Here is the first major difference between a narcissist and an empath.

When an empath uses words of affirmation, they do so because they have a sincere intention to encourage their loved one.

They really want their partner to feel good about themselves, and this is one of their ways of showing their love and commitment to the other person.

On the other hand, when a narcissist uses affirming language, he does so for a hidden purpose.

At first, when you first meet a narcissist, they often seem too good to be true.

And that’s because it is.

A narcissist has a nice way of talking to you about literally everything, and is rarely sincere when he compliments you.

They know exactly what you want and need to hear to make you fall in love with them, and they use this love language as one of their ways to drag you into their endless cycle of narcissistic emotional and verbal abuse.

When we talk about gifts as an important love language, we’re not necessarily talking about expensive, materially valuable gifts.

Instead, buying or hand-making gifts for your other half is a way to let them know that you’ve been thinking about them and that you’re listening to them talk about their desires.

This is exactly what an empath looks at when receiving gifts from their partner. Their favorite gifts are those with deep meaning and sentimental value.

Empaths are never materialistic and usually enjoy having small things that were made or bought with love.

Every empath enjoys making others happy, and would always prefer giving gifts rather than receiving them.

The narcissist uses this to his advantage. The narcissist enjoys receiving expensive and luxurious gifts, seeing them as an expression of someone’s love for him.

Not only that, a narcissistic person will also be very generous when it comes to buying gifts for their partner, especially in the initial stage of the relationship.

QualityTime

Spending quality time with your other half and giving them your full attention is a must in every healthy relationship.

It’s one of the things that is essential for every relationship to work, including a romantic one, and for making everyone involved feel loved and wanted.

But the concept of a good time is not the same for narcissists and empaths.

While the main focus of the empath will be on the other person, the narcissist is always selfish and cares about themselves and no one else.

This means that the narcissist’s idea of ​​spending time with his partner is to only do things he himself wants, when he wants them.

They will never put their energy into creating a deeper connection with their other half, while an empath will always do their best to achieve exactly that.

Related: Five Signs that Reconciliation is Impossible

Physical touch

One of the foundations of every romantic relationship is the physical aspect of it.

But when I mention the physical aspect and touch, I’m not just talking about sex here.

I’m also talking about things like holding hands, kissing, and hugging, all of which increase the level of intimacy in every relationship.

But narcissists rarely use this intimate aspect of the relationship the way it should be used, as a way to form a special, deep bond between partners.

Instead, they use sex as a way to manipulate the other person into falling in love with them initially and as a form of emotional blackmail.

Also, the narcissist uses physical contact as a way to punish their partner.

When they are angry or when things are not going their way, they will have no difficulty depriving the other person of any form of physical contact.

They use this as a weapon to control their partner, as part of their passive aggressive behavior and as an abuse tactic.

But narcissists also expect their partners to meet their physical needs when and how they want, which is what empaths often do because they see sex and physical touch as a way to get closer to their loved ones.

The empath craves physical attention from their romantic partner and sees it as evidence of their love and affection, which the narcissist always uses against them.