Narcissists…are everywhere.
They could be our friends, our bosses, our family members, our spouses, etc.
You could be in the least populated city in the world, and you’re likely to come across a few narcissists at some point.
Given this reality, we should all know how to deal with them.
Often, we don’t realize how destructive they can be until they’ve already vented their anger.
Don’t let it get to that point.
When a narcissist doesn’t get their way with you, they’ll always act out.
And when they do, it can be an ugly sight.
But once you get a clearer picture of things, you’ll be able to handle the situation with grace and confidence.
Let’s get started!
1) They’ll Trick You
When narcissists sense that their initial approach has failed, they’ll resort to Plan B—which for many, almost instinctively, means manipulation.
I’ve dated a narcissist before.
Early in the relationship, when we were fighting, I would give in easily, regularly believing her assertions that I was wrong.
But eventually, I realized that.
So I started standing my ground, trying to salvage my dignity, and not letting her trample on my damaged ego anymore.
I no longer let her win arguments where she was wrong.
As you can imagine, she didn’t like this sudden revelation.
In a desperate response to my newfound confidence, she would deceive me.
She would flatly deny doing or saying certain things, even though we probably knew she was lying.
Because I was no longer giving in to her pleas, she made me question my perceptions and rationality, insisting that I had misunderstood the situation badly; and that the facts I had stated were wrong.
The persuasion in her tone was convincing enough to make me think about her case for a moment.
But as hard as it was, I somehow managed to stay strong.
If I can do it, so can you.
2) They’ll try to destroy your reputation
If you’re no longer in their good graces, narcissists will often find alternate ways to bring you down.
For example, they’ll sometimes gossip about you behind your back with mutual friends or family.
They want to tarnish your reputation and make you look bad, so they’ll exaggerate, make up stories, and twist the facts to damage your reputation.
Since you’re no longer giving in to their interests, they’re upset, even though they have no right to be.
If you notice some unwelcome rumors circulating about you, you can probably trace them back to a narcissist.
3) They’ll get rid of you
Since a narcissist by definition almost always put themselves before others, they won’t think twice about “getting rid of” you like a disposable razor blade.
This means they’ll give you the silent treatment in hopes of hurting and confusing you.
They’ll cut off all contact, and they’ll stay in the dark for a long time.
Your calls won’t be answered; your messages may be “seen” but will never be acknowledged.
They want you to suffer because they see that you’ve wronged them.
Getting rid of them is a typical tactic of a narcissist when they feel their judgment of you is diminishing.
Don’t be fooled.
4) They’ll Make You Feel Guilty
Here’s a shocking fact: narcissists also love to play the victim.
No matter if they’re wrong (and they know it), they’ll still resort to guilt tactics in a frantic attempt to regain power.
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They’ll use every means at their disposal, twisting reality to make you look like the bad guy; while they play the innocent, well-meaning victim.
They’ll use things like sympathy and nostalgia to make their case even more compelling.
Narcissists like to have their cake and eat it too. They’re using you and expecting you to bend and bear it.
So if you decide to truly set boundaries, they’re probably not going to like it.
They will resort to guilt and blame, using far-fetched logic to suggest that you are at fault.
Not a good thing.
5) They will overcompensate
If they think there is something to gain from you, they will put on an Oscar-worthy performance, trying their best to convince you to return to the relationship.
They can be incredibly convincing.
They will promise you everything; that they will get better, that they will change overnight.
They may shower you with love, affection, and praise.
And when they realize they have you back in their hands?
Their enthusiasm quickly fades and they revert to their old ways.
Be vigilant. It is very easy to fall for their tricks and deceptions if you are not careful.
6) They will use triangulation tactics
Narcissists are well aware of the power of jealousy.
So, sometimes they resort to introducing a third party.
They seek to manipulate your emotions and make you feel bad; this vulnerable state allows them to exploit you more easily.
We touched on the subject of my ex earlier, but I think it’s worth mentioning again.
After we agreed to take a “break,” weeks later, she categorically announced that she was dating (and sleeping with) my ex.
Given the circumstances of the time, I can only assume that her sudden revelation was an attempt to make me miss her even more intensely; to speed up the process of giving each other space and rekindling the relationship.
But fortunately, her efforts backfired.
With the help and moral support of friends and family, she pushed me further away.
Honestly, I dodged a bullet. Unfortunately, not everyone is that lucky.
7) They’ll try to intimidate you
In more severe cases, the narcissist will try to intimidate you into giving in to their demands.
This may mean that they will make subtle, veiled threats about revealing your deepest secrets to the public; or they may make more explicit threats against you or people you care about as a means of exerting influence over you.
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They may actively monitor you through social media and mutual friends…and worst of all, they will “be” in places they know you visit often.
They are not ready to let you go and act independently of them, so they will act accordingly.
Final Words
Dealing with a narcissist (especially after a disagreement) is not easy.
It takes strength, resilience, and thick skin.
Many people have tried to walk away, only to somehow end up getting back together.
In case you haven’t noticed, narcissists are experts at manipulating situations to come out on top.
Reach out to family, friends, or counselors.
As I mentioned, my friends helped me get over the most notorious narcissist in my life.
Without them, I probably would have given up.
If I could do it, so can you. Stay the course and stand your ground; Don’t give up and let them win. You can do it.
