As someone who has been in a toxic relationship, I know that leaving one isn’t easy.
The human mind is a strange thing.
We get so attached to someone or something that we end up clinging to them, even though we know full well that it’s not healthy or good for us.
While jumping in and breaking free may seem easy, it takes tremendous mental and emotional strength.
Some may never get out, and remain unhappy indefinitely. It’s sad.
In this article, I’ll share with you the traits of men who break free from toxic traits.
Once you have clarity, you can start cultivating change.
Let’s get started!
1) They Have Self-Esteem
In toxic relationships, we sometimes end up losing self-esteem.
We get caught up in the hostility, drama, and deep conflicting feelings, and our self-esteem, which may have once been prominent, gradually declines.
This is one of the reasons why so many of us find it so hard to leave: we forget what self-esteem is all about.
Once you clear your head of overwhelming toxic emotions, your self-esteem will slowly return.
But some men won’t let it get to that point.
Shortly after they spot some red flags or unhealthy behaviors in their partner, they either forcefully try to fix things or walk out the door.
A strong sense of self-worth and respect is crucial to dealing with toxic relationships, allowing men to realize that they deserve better than negativity and abuse.
2) They’re Brave
When I talk to my friends about my relationship struggles, they respond with things like, “Just leave then!”
If only it were that simple and easy.
Leaving any type of relationship (even a toxic one) takes a certain amount of courage.
It’s human nature to find the unknown very scary.
Losing someone you’ve been emotionally attached to voluntarily is hard, no matter the circumstances.
The prospect of spending your days in isolation pining for someone who was once so close to you can be incredibly daunting.
So, choosing to break free is no joke.
It takes a lot of courage and mental and emotional resilience. Speaking of which…
3) They’re Resilient
Some men fear depression and sadness so much that they avoid it altogether…
Even when that avoidance comes at their own expense.
We’re all different.
Naturally resilient men have a much better chance of recovering faster after a breakup than others, and they know it.
That’s because they have an almost built-in level of strength and perseverance to recover from the crushing ups and downs of ending a relationship.
Sure, they’ll have their bad and dark days. Everyone does.
But they won’t let that sadness define them permanently.
4) They’re Self-Aware
Some men don’t know what they want in life.
Perhaps because everyone in a relationship and settling down will do the same thing—completely unaware of the fact that they’re not completely happy or fulfilled.
Likewise, when you’re too involved, you tend to lose objectivity.
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That can mean staying in an unhappy and toxic relationship without even realizing it.
A conscious man has a firm grasp of his needs, desires, flaws, and strengths in life.
He has enough emotional intelligence to understand what he wants from relationships; and if his reality consistently doesn’t match those desires, he won’t hesitate to walk away.
5) Independent
No one can be alone and accept it; this is especially true once you’ve gotten used to being in a long-term, dependent relationship.
Men who have a natural inclination toward independence have a better chance of breaking free from toxic relationships.
They value their solitude and independence as men, and when the inevitable grief of the healing process wears off, they return to their independent ways again.
There may be a period of adjustment but at the end of the day, they can take care of themselves, not relying on anyone else, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.
6) Assertive
Some men get so used to the status quo that they lack the drive and desire to change things, even when it’s detrimental to them and their health.
I think we all know some men who are like this.
They will passively wait for something special to come their way, without really putting in any real effort.
This last one is very true of toxic relationships.
Men will be unhappy but instead of taking action, they will let things be.
Confident men can break free from harmful situations; they can express their feelings and assert their rights.
When their boundaries are crossed, they won’t simply “let it go,” they will put their feet up.
It’s no surprise that confident men tend to get what they want in life.
7) They’re Patient
Many men who stay in toxic relationships sometimes procrastinate and are simply waiting for the inevitable.
They don’t want to deal with the baggage and sadness that always comes after a major disappointment.
They don’t want to have to go through the grieving process; they’re not up for that kind of challenge and have little patience for it.
Men who come out of toxic relationships are often more patient than most people.
They tend to accept that healing takes time; and that good things like recovery and personal growth don’t usually happen overnight.
8) They Have Self-Compassion
One of the main reasons I stayed in my long-term toxic relationship was because deep down, I was feeling guilty.
I had said and done some things early in our relationship that my then-girlfriend used against me for years.
Because I’m incredibly guilt-prone, it worked.
I felt like a terrible person, and mentally, I put her on a moral high horse.
I had no self-compassion, no desire or motivation to forgive myself and move on. I blamed myself for our shortcomings as a couple.
So, I stuck with the status quo, even though I knew deep down that what I was doing wasn’t sustainable.
Fortunately, I eventually learned what it means to be kind to myself, to let go of my past, and to move forward with greater strength.
Since I made these discoveries, I haven’t looked back.
Final Words
Men who embrace change rather than fear it tend to do better in leaving bad relationships.
Despite the difficult circumstances, they find a way to remain optimistic.
Instead of seeing a breakup as something scary, they try their best to see it as the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in life.
So, in many ways, this isn’t an end for them, but a beginning.
