Charming, persuasive, confident, bold, driven, determined, independent, spontaneous, enthusiastic, and emotionally intelligent are intoxicating characteristics.

The more of these qualities you possess, the more others will be inclined to consider you an inspiration.

Recently, the term “dark empathy” has been thrown around in the media. There seems to be confusion about what makes someone a dark empath, an empath, a sociopath, or a narcissist.

Too often, men are unfairly judged as dark empaths while women are dismissed for being so.

Related: 5 Harsh Reasons Women Fall Out Of Love

What is Dark Empathy?

These people can lead and succeed in many professional fields. Some CEOs, business leaders, and soldiers are sympathetic to the dark, and use these skills to foster innovation or protect the country.

But the main difference between empaths and dark empaths is not how well they do their job, but how well they maintain healthy systems. Healthy teams in the workplace and an equal partner at home are two examples of a healthy system. Another difference is their motivations for socializing with you.

Dark empaths usually have an ulterior motive: selfishness. As a result, they tend to experience more power struggles in relationships, while empaths experience fewer power struggles than the average person. To avoid this, dark empaths attempt to create or maintain a position of power in exchange for promoting equal relationships.

Dark compassion exists, here are 7 signs that someone you love is using their power for evil:

1. They use their emotional intelligence to connect with you the first time you meet them

At first, they do it in front of others.

Over time, they do this one-on-one with you but only when they want something from you.

2. They are physically and emotionally compelling

For example, they expertly use cologne or perfume, clothing, physical distance, touch, and eye contact to communicate with you and persuade you to help when they need something.

Related: 7 signs you’re not a bad person, you’re just in the wrong relationship

3. They become moody when you don’t give them what they want

They often become angry, withdraw, or become rebellious if their attempt to get what they want from you fails. This is so noticeable that it’s strange.

For example, you may feel like in the middle of a sunny day it suddenly gets dark. This emotional withdrawal is intended to push you to reach out and give more than you want in an attempt to repair the relationship.

In healthy relationships, this would be healthy behavior and a kind of give and take. In unhealthy relationships, this creates a “they take and you give” dynamic that rarely feels fair.

4. They tend to push boundaries, but not in a good way

They keep asking for what they want even after you clearly say no.

Although charming at first, over time, you begin to realize that you feel unheard and disrespected. I also noticed that others do it as well.

The difference between empathy and dark empathy is that the empath will apologize and correct the action because he wants you to be comfortable too.

Related: 10 Different Types Of Guys — And What Your Attraction To Them Says About You

5. They tend to have many romantic or intimate relationships

Either back to back or at the same time. This is often because loyalty is not a core value for them.

Sincerity shows compassion as no one wants to be cheated on. A loyal partner will usually end the relationship before he cheats on you because he wants to be fair to you.

Dark empaths understand that you will be upset but they stay in the relationship with you because they don’t want to let you go…yet.

The disconnect or confusion of dark empaths is that they use their emotional intelligence to risk the odds of getting what they want in any relationship to their advantage.

Healthy adults tend to have fair relationships. Empaths want relationships to be fair but don’t mind giving more first for longer periods because they assume others will do the same.

6. They are attracted to other empaths

This balances out the over-giving/over-taking dynamic, making them feel comfortable.

Empaths tend to become more discerning over time so as not to be consumed by dark compassion, but they may still feel a natural attraction to them.

7. They tend to sympathize with children or victims of abuse who are treated poorly

At first, you think this is true empathy, but later you realize they are stuck in their trauma. They feel bad about themselves and need sympathy from you.

While everyone has past scars and even some trauma, a Dark Empath will have difficulty understanding another’s situation from their perspective versus their past perspective.

We hope you are able to recognize the dark themes of Dark Empathy in your life.

The purpose of knowing why is not to throw it away because it certainly has many great properties. The purpose is to help you maintain healthy boundaries for yourself when meeting an empath with dark personality traits.

This reduces the chances of them taking advantage of you and, hopefully, modeling healthy relationship dynamics toward the darker empath.

Empathy is a skill. The more you use it and try it more, the better empathy becomes.

The Gottman Institute considers empathy one of the four indicators of marital success. Therefore, it is wise to practice this skill with everyone. It may attract the attention of the love of your life!