Being intimate with partners who are selfish, punitive, and dishonest can feel lonely and painful.
Most people have never encountered a romantic with traits or signs of a psychopath in the past. Therefore, they may find themselves unfamiliar with common manipulative tactics or the rude way in which a person with psychopathy can oscillate from “love” (lust/attraction) to disinterest.
When we love someone, we try to help them or even address their shortcomings. This also applies to men and women involved with abusive partners. They may try to offer love, compassion, tolerance, and understanding to not only keep the relationship together but also to comfort or repair their partner.
Related: 6 Signs Of Coercive Control That Can Protect You From Abuse
However, for someone with strong psychopathic traits, these strategies are often ineffective.
It will not change the relationship into a healthy and cooperative union. Due to the neurobiology of psychopathy, they have minimal motivation to change their behavior based on feelings of compassion and love from their partner. But, of course, anyone unfamiliar with psychopathy wouldn’t know that.
One lesson they are likely to learn quickly is that they must be careful not to inflame their companion. Many people with psychopathy are prone to aggression.
Given the toxicity of many of these relationships, one may find it unusual that they struggle to get over a breakup. The assumption would be that these individuals will be easy to get over because they have caused such emotional distress. But the truth is, it can be difficult to get past.
An individual may long for the psychopathic person, but at the same time not love him or her. After a relationship of this kind, these reactions are normal.
Many variables come into play when we go through a typical breakup, such as cravings for our old partner, grief, and grief.
However, for those who were closely associated with someone with psychopathy or narcissistic personality disorder, their breakup will involve many other variables that tend to be absent in normal or non-abusive relationships (e.g., trauma bonding, overactive stress system Stimulus).
Toxic relationships extend beyond just harming your mind, they can harm your body as well.
A person’s mental and physical health can be at stake due to exposure to cruel behaviors and mind games. Our brain responds to how we are treated.
If he is treated well and surrounded by safe, kind people, he will function optimally. If treated harshly, our stress systems kick into action and the resulting neurochemistry will change how they function.
Two of our stress systems, the Locus Coeruleus Norepinephrine (LC-NE) System and the Locus Pituitary-Adrenal (CRF-HPA) System, can take a hit in relationships that involve intimate partner abuse (emotional or physical).
When these systems are activated repeatedly or if the incident is serious enough, just one time, the impact on a person’s mental health can be enormous.
Related: How Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths Manipulate You into an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Some individuals have been manipulated, betrayed, and abused for a long period (chronically) resulting in them developing heart or immune disorders, pain, or fatigue. They pay with their health (or life), simply because they fell in love with a selfish and uncaring partner.
Psychopathic or narcissistic abuse often results in unbearable pain that can alter a person’s mental and cognitive state (thinking).
This pain can potentially lead to trauma-related conditions such as depression, severe anxiety, PTSD, and complex PTSD. These conditions can put a non-disordered person’s life in danger (eg, suicide) if not treated by a well-trained doctor.
Why are post-breakup periods more difficult for those who were in a relationship with someone with psychopathy or narcissism?
Intimacy with someone with these conditions often involves infidelity, an almost complete change in behavior compared to the beginning, cheating, lying, a secret life, broken promises, smear campaigns (destroying their partner’s reputation), and a profound lack of interest after admitting their desire for it. love.
These are not behaviors anyone would expect to experience with the person they love. Naturally, this leads to the person enduring severe pain.
Pain circuits within our brain are activated when we are betrayed or deceived. We begin to question not only the cheating partner but ultimately ourselves:
“what did I do wrong?”
“Am I the one with a personality disorder?”
“Did you push him away?”
Here are three differences between a loving relationship and one in which the partner is emotionally incapable of caring, kindness, or bonding:
Related: I Discovered In Counseling There Were 3 People In My Marriage
- A person who loves another person will not try to damage his partner’s psychological foundation.
- When one person is closely attached to another, they will not ask their partner to give up their sense of self.
This includes their opinions, ideas, specialties, social relationships, or human rights. They do not isolate them. This is not the case for intimate partner abusers and many with psychopathy or narcissistic personality disorder.
They usually want their partner to feel inferior and inferior to others; It is required for them to feel special (narcissists) or powerful (psychopaths). Of course, there are some exceptions. People are complicated.
- Whoever loves another person will feel guilty if he hurts him.
Often, their actions will be followed by an apology. However, for individuals with psychopathy, there will be no sincere apology or accountability for their behavior. Even if the pain they caused has devastated or ruined someone else’s life.
Aside from the potentially life-threatening encounters of those who experience physical abuse, individuals exposed to emotional abuse are also exposed to harsh conditions.
Pain continues after psychopathic love relationships because the brain is exposed to abnormal conditions. We are not “made” to be treated harshly, and as living beings, we change in response to mistreatment (for example, we may develop anxiety, insecurity, depression, and PTSD). This applies to people and many animals.
Our brain circuits and chemistry respond to the people in our lives. It attempts to adapt and normalize our experiences.
Although neuroplasticity is a necessary process for our mind, when it has to adapt to a life of deception, deceit, aggression, and inconsistent behavior, there will be consequences.
Coping with someone else’s illnesses can lead to a breakdown in the mental and physical health of the non-disordered person.
Paying attention to the type of people we allow into our lives is vital. Others can greatly influence our neurobiology. This can forever change how we feel and think.
