SPOILER ALERT: The HBO family saga, Succession, is a deliciously sadistic four-season study in narcissistic parenting. Anyone familiar with the series already knows that the patriarch of the fictional family, Logan Roy, who looks like Rupert Murdoch, seems intent on toying with and, ultimately, emotionally destroying his four adult children — Kendall, Shiv, Roman, and the man played by Cameron from the series. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Logan’s narcissism is demonstrated by his apparent desire to control, degrade, belittle, and otherwise intimidate his sons as they vie to take over the family’s sprawling media empire after their father steps down as CEO. As a completely narcissistic parent, Logan knows exactly how to manipulate his children into humiliating themselves for their father’s amusement.

It’s also clear that after a lifetime of living under the hurtful gaze and strict grip of Logan Roy, the children have come to believe – deep down – that their father is right about them when he declares, “I love you, but you’re not serious people.” They believe they deserve his contempt and abuse. Their self-identities are so tied to Logan’s treatment of them that it is unthinkable to try to break free from this narcissistic mold.

In other words, they believe this lie: without Logan, they are nothing.

Of course, characters in prime-time social dramas like Succession have the luxury of not being present between episodes. What’s important about the character dynamic being so comprehensively explored through the lens of the show’s creators is that emotionally abusive behavior like Logan Roy’s toward his children is not fiction. It’s a real problem in a lot of real families.

To better understand how narcissistic parenting impacts adult mental health, we reached out to a panel of parenting experts to ask: What harmful lies do we learn from narcissistic parents? Here are their responses.

Related: 8 REAL Phrases That Shut Down and Repel Narcissists

Three experts share the harmful lies we learn from narcissistic parents:

1. We learn the wrong definition of the word “love”

Young children learn what is “true” and “incorrect” about themselves, others, and the world as a whole, largely from their parents. As an expert in self-deception, I use quotes that I say are “true and untrue” because many of the conclusions we make in early childhood are objectively wrong and can cause us psychological damage as we age. This is especially true for children of narcissistic parents because they observe and learn from attention-seeking adults who often lack empathy for others, including their children.

Here are four problematic lies people learn from narcissistic parents:

2. We learn to suppress our emotions in an unhealthy way

I had a child with a narcissistic man. The worst thing he instilled in my child after our divorce was that I was irrational and emotional. I’m emotional, it’s true, but not overly so. My son has learned that any expression of emotion is “overrated.”

Emotions were labeled as “crazy behavior” while cold logic was overrated. My son has learned to hide, repress, and numb his feelings. As an adult, he struggles to express himself and form intimate, loving relationships.

Another unfortunate learning from his narcissistic father is that his worth depends entirely on his accomplishments and ability to look good to the outside world. He was only interested and connected with our son when he was performing in ways that were a positive reflection of him.

While everything looked good on the outside, his narcissistic father was verbally and sometimes physically abusive behind closed doors. The narcissist is always right and everything goes well as long as you agree with him. My son seemed like a tool to serve his father’s ego and selfish agendas.

The third pernicious learning from a narcissistic parent is the idea that the child is never good enough. This leads to a feeling of shame and the idea that he can never achieve anything. He is only valuable and lovable when he acts in ways approved by the father.

3. We learn to follow the wrong priorities in life

Narcissistic parents are competitive by nature. Their communication usually includes a constant stream of subtle insults and overt criticism because it is very challenging for adult narcissists to have their child become successful in any way that threatens their superiority. This applies to everything: academic achievements, sports, manners, friends, love interests, invitations, and every aspect of appearance.

Not only does it demoralize children as they learn and grow, but it also sets up a situation in which the child tries to earn love by becoming more perfect and more accomplished. If the child succeeds to the extent that he reflects glory on the narcissistic parent, the parent will often give himself credit for the accomplishment. In either case, the child learns that love is conditional.

As you can imagine, this sets the stage for a lifelong struggle for perfection and never feeling good enough. This is a harmful lie. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be perfect to earn love and that you are good enough just the way you are.