The 3 Most Common Excuses People Make For Staying In Toxic Relationships

That’s it. You can’t take it anymore. It’s time for a new beginning and you can feel it in your heart. It’s time to leave this toxic relationship once and for all. I’m tired of fighting, being silent, and walking on eggshells. You’re just plain tired.

Related: 10 Toxic Communication Patterns In Highly Dysfunctional Romantic Relationships

You can hardly look at yourself in the mirror because you are ashamed of what you have become: a doormat, a victim. Your friends and family have noticed signs of a toxic relationship and have been keeping their distance lately — and you can’t blame them. Being around you and your partner is uncomfortable at best. This situation is negatively affecting all areas of your life and you are ready to take this step.

You admit that you’ve thought about it for a while. It’s been months — maybe years — and you’ve been imagining what life would be like without your partner.

You’ve seen other couples bring out the best in each other and you long to experience that kind of love. You imagine feeling truly loved and respected by your partner. You know deep down that you deserve a better relationship, and you’ve finally mustered up the courage to break free. And then, that little (but loud) false voice in your head speaks up and you start doubting yourself again.

Here are three of the most common excuses for staying in a toxic relationship, and a text for you to refute each point.

Maintain your self-respect as you move forward with your life.

  1. Your partner isn’t that bad, he’s just under a lot of stress.

are you kidding me? What about the pressure you are under? Living with a toxic relationship is very stressful. Does this give them the right to treat the person they “love” like a piece of dirt? In times of stress, you need to be there for each other. This excuse is unacceptable. you deserve the best.

Related: 5 Reasons You Might Be Holding On To A Toxic Relationship — Even Though You’re Ready To Leave

  1. You will have nowhere to go if you leave.

You may have created a situation where you have become dependent on your partner, but you have options. There are friends, family, and community groups that will be more than willing to help you now that you’ve finally decided to put your best interest (and your children’s best interest) first.

It may be hard for a while, but it gets harder and you’re ready to start over with your head held high.

  1. You will be alone for the rest of your life.

No one wants to be alone for the rest of their life, but that’s what I felt in this relationship: alone. Why would you stay longer? You should focus on starting a new life and feeling good about your choices, rather than looking for a partner to “complete” you.

If you want someone else to love you like you deserve, you better start taking better care of yourself.

Making the decision to leave any relationship isn’t easy. In addition to your own inner voice challenging you, your friends, family and partner may try to convince to stick it out. It’s scary to start again, but the freedom is exhilarating and the future that awaits you is full of possibility.