Holding on to a toxic relationship, rather than letting go, is often the norm.

The strength it takes to walk away from any relationship, let alone a toxic one, is enormous and the fear of the pain we might feel is even worse.

If you want to find the strength to stop holding on to a toxic relationship, it’s important to understand why you’re still holding on.

What motivates you not to give up and walk away from something that makes you miserable? Especially when a part of you is ready to leave?

Can you resist these reasons so you can truly move forward?

Here are 5 reasons why you might cling to a toxic relationship.

You are afraid of being alone.

It is a human condition to want to be in a couple and have someone to share your life and experiences with. This is the goal.

Unfortunately, you’re willing to settle for “good enough” when it comes to finding your other half. You believe that if you let go of the bird in your hand, you will never find someone else to love.

The prospect of putting yourself out there again so you can find that person is extremely daunting. So, you have to stick with what you have now, no matter how bad it is for you

Let me tell you, from decades of personal and professional experience, there is always someone else available for you. You may not find them right away but you will never find them if you stay in the relationship you are in.

There is someone available for you, someone, who will be your perfect half and who will make you complete.

You have low self-esteem.

Many people in toxic relationships have very low self-esteem. They don’t believe they deserve good love, and if they do, they have no idea how to go out and find it.

Unfortunately, the result of toxic relationships is low self-esteem. You are unhappy, isolated from your friends, and belittled for any perceived shortcomings. You know, deep down, that you’re not being treated well.

And if you don’t feel good about yourself, you attract partners who don’t feel good about you either.

For me, part of letting go of my toxic love was focusing on my work. I was able to redirect the pain of letting go of a relationship into something that made me feel better about myself.

And feeling good about myself allowed me to let him go and find someone who sees how amazing I am.

You are accustomed to patterns and habits.

Patterns play a big role in your life. Think about your daily routine and patterns and how you feel on those days when your routine is broken.

For example, if you always eat breakfast before you head out the door, and one day, you can’t, you won’t feel like yourself for the rest of the day.

Now imagine this in a relationship.

When the relationship is new and good, you create patterns and routines with your partner. These patterns and routines become ingrained in your life. Breaking them can be almost impossible.

Can you imagine what Christmas would be like without your partner? Or wondering who you’re going to the movies with on Wednesdays?

These are the patterns that keep you with toxic loved ones. You don’t want to give them up, you can’t imagine life without them, and this keeps you trapped.

Interestingly, breaking up and getting back together is routine.

Because of my toxic relationship, I was breaking up with him, and then, like clockwork, 8 weeks later he was reaching out to me and before I knew it I was back where I started. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened.

I have since learned that if you can get past the 8-week mark, you can break the pattern. And I can promise you that you’ll find someone else to go to the movies with on Wednesdays. I did.

You blame yourself.

One of the most insidious things about toxic love is that after a while, you start blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong.

I have a client whose husband was having an affair with one of her employees. For three years, my client asked her husband to fire that woman, and for three years, he promised to do so and did not. She’s beside herself and rightly so.

The thing is, her husband did a great job making her feel like their problems were her fault. He says if she can let this go, they can be happy.

He told her that she had no sympathy for this other woman’s children—what would they do if their mother had no income? Because of his accusations, she doubts her mental health some days.

Do you blame yourself for the toxicity in your relationship? Do you think if you could be a little nicer, pay him more attention, or have sex with him when he wants you to, everything would be okay?

If the answer is “yes”, stop. Your person is making your life difficult, and although you may play a role in the situation, it is not your fault.

You think you two are soulmates.

Do you think the relationship you share with your significant other is unparalleled?

That the intense passion and connection you share can’t compare to anyone else’s and that letting go would be a waste of time?

Let me tell you: everyone feels this way about their relationship!

I hate to burst your bubble, but although the love you have for this person may be strong, it is not the absolute love in the world. Giving him up will not be the end of love for you.

If you can get rid of your toxic love, you are more likely to find a real, wonderful, and magical relationship.

I did.

Holding on to a toxic relationship often happens because we fear the pain we would feel if we let go.

But getting rid of toxic love is very important for a happy life. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life living with someone who makes your life more miserable than makes you happy?

Could you be happy if the rest of your life was the same as your life today?

I know that finally getting out of my toxic relationship gave me the time, strength, and focus to build my business and self-esteem. He made me understand that I can break patterns and not only survive but thrive.

I learned that it was okay to be alone and that even though our love was special to me, there was another, better love in this world.

So what are you waiting for? Letting go of toxic love is something you can start doing now!

Here are 5 reasons why you might cling to a toxic relationship.

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