Do you repeatedly struggle with bad and toxic relationships?

Are you unhappy because you are wasting time on all these losers and wondering if you will ever find the right person?

Don’t give up! There are a lot of life lessons about true love that can be learned from unhealthy relationships.

These lessons will set you up for success when you find the right person.

But what kind of lessons are you learning?

Some of them may not be the first thing you think of when looking for true love but they are important.

Here are 7 love lessons you can learn from toxic relationships.

Know what red flags in a relationship look like

Red flags are signs that something bad is coming. Sometimes it’s obvious but sometimes it’s not.

Too often, we ignore them. When we do that, disasters happen.

What might a red flag for a relationship look like?

Some are accurate. Maybe he talks about his ex a lot or has a bad relationship with his mother.

He may not have been able to hold down a job. He may refuse to talk about anything difficult.

Some are more obvious. He might say he doesn’t want a serious relationship or that children are out of the question.

He may be telling you that your male friend needs to go away.

The thing about red flags in a relationship is that we often see them and ignore them or rationalize them.

Hopefully, unhealthy relationships will help you realize that these red flags can be subtle and that if you had just paid attention to them in the beginning, you could have saved yourself a lot of pain.

Know what not to do

One lesson to learn from being in a toxic relationship is what not to do next time.

Many of us have behaviors that we repeat in every relationship and many of us get into serial toxic relationships because of them.

For many people, we tend to personalize the things that happen in a relationship.

If our man comes home late, it’s because he doesn’t like us.

If they don’t get rid of their dirty laundry, they don’t respect us. If they forget our birthday, we are not important to them.

While these things may be true in some cases, more often than not the things people do have nothing to do with the other person, but rather with poor judgment and negligence.

So, don’t take things personally, it’s not just about you. Another thing that people tend to do in unhealthy relationships is to be passive-aggressive and hostile.

Instead of confronting an issue head-on, many of us make snide comments to the side, hoping someone will hear our displeasure and act on it.

Moreover, we keep harping on an issue, making thousands of little cuts, to the point where our partner no longer cares about our concerns.

These are just two behaviors that derail many relationships. And there are others.

Take a hard look at your role in this relationship. Unhealthy relationships are rarely caused by the behavior of one person. Find out what yours is and take notes.

Pay attention that enable is not supported

Have you ever been in a relationship that was struggling and you tried to salvage it by being supportive?

Many of us, especially women, believe that if we can only support our person the relationship will endure.

If we are patient while our partners work late hours hold their hands when they feel insecure again about something that happened at the gym or look the other way when they take their third vodka after dinner, we believe they will notice us and stay in love with us.

Their annoying behaviors may change.

Unfortunately, this “support” is more “enabling” and empowerment is not good in any relationship.

If you keep looking the other way when your partner gets drunk, ignores you because of work, or yells at you because of his or her insecurities, you are telling your partner that his or her behaviors are okay.

If your partner thinks their behavior is good, they will never change.

If your partner has behaviors that make you unhappy, stop supporting them. Either talk about them or walk away.

Discover the traits you want in a partner

One of the clearest lessons from bad relationships is what you want in a partner.

Even when we hold on to toxic people, we see their flaws very clearly, so we can get an idea of what we would ideally want if we were in charge of the world.

I had a man I loved but he was highly insecure, wanted to please everyone, had a quick temper, lived with a lot of fear, and was in and out of jobs. I loved it but I was struggling.

When I was finally free from that relationship, I set out to find a man who knew who he was, who was patient, kind, and consistent.

I was very clear about it and I finally found what I was looking for.

So what do you want in a partner? Please make a list, write it down, and refer to it often.

Letting go does not mean giving up

I can’t tell you how many of my clients who struggle with letting go of love in toxic relationships tell me that they don’t walk away because they don’t want to give up! They are not withdrawn.

And I always tell them the same thing – that there are two people in a relationship, and as long as you’re the only one making the effort, or the efforts both of you are making don’t work out, it’s not a question of giving up.

Only you can control your efforts, only you can finish this marathon, but you can’t control someone else.

He doesn’t give up if your partner doesn’t give his all either.

So, if you’re struggling with “giving up,” don’t! Know that you can let go of love that doesn’t serve you and move forward with your head held high, knowing you did your best.

Be aware of how strong you are

For those of us who have survived unhealthy relationships (which we all do eventually), we know how strong we are.

By having the courage to let go of the love that wasn’t serving you, you reclaim your power, the power that you may have lost in the struggle of your bad relationship.

Talk to someone who has escaped a bad situation and you will see someone who may be sad, maybe really sad, but someone who feels strong because they were able to do it.

Letting go of unhealthy relationships is very difficult – do it and you will feel stronger than ever.

It is better to be alone than miserable

One thing that can become very clear when you’re in a toxic relationship is how much better it is to be alone than to be with someone who makes you miserable.

There is nothing worse than suffering day after day of being in a toxic relationship.

You wake up to it, it lives with you all day and is there when you go to bed at night.

Sure, when you’re alone, you might spend some time on your couch watching Game of Thrones, but your time is your time.

You can do whatever you want. And while you may feel miserable because you’re single, I can promise you that it’s not as miserable as you might feel if you spent your days struggling with bad relationships.

Learning love lessons from unhealthy relationships is an essential part of finding love and happiness.

The goal is not to repeat history – not in work, not in parenting, not in behaviors, not in relationships.

The goal is to learn from our mistakes and move forward to achieve future success.

So, take a hard look at all the bad relationships you’ve been in your life and take inventory of the lessons you’ve learned so you can do things differently in the future!

you can do that! True love is there waiting for you!

Here are 7 love lessons you can learn from toxic relationships.

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