There are things we do as a couple that seem harmless but are toxic behaviors in the relationship.

After all, how bad can it be to suppress your emotions?

Some behaviors that we think are healthy are toxic to the relationship, and instead of strengthening them, we can destroy them little by little.

Author Mark Manson is a former dating coach who writes about life’s hottest topics, including happiness, self-knowledge, habits, and relationships.

In one of his posts, he talks about toxic relationship habits. Below are the toxic relationship behaviors that many of us engage in without really knowing the damage we could be doing.

Here are 6 toxic relationship behaviors that most couples believe are normal:

You keep a list of all your partner’s mistakes

If one or both of you continue to blame the other for mistakes made in the past, you are not in the present and are not dealing with problems as they arise.

All these mistakes accumulate, and it becomes a battle over who made the most mistakes over the months or years, and whose turn it will be to settle matters.

It’s as if you’re storing up the hurt and pain of that action to use against your partner later, and when you finally use all that bad energy, it becomes difficult for the relationship to recover from the emotional toll it takes.

Deal with issues as they arise, separately, unless they are naturally related (such as a cheating partner).

You expect your partner to read your mind

If you or your partner refuses to say exactly what you want and relies on the other person to know what it is, it’s not only stupid — it doesn’t make sense.

It’s especially bad if you think of it as some kind of test: “Well if he loves me, he’ll know…”

If what you’re feeling is sadness, and instead of letting your partner know how you feel, you do a bunch of things to piss them off to make yourself feel better, then this type of behavior shows that you’re not communicating openly and honestly with each other.

Couples need to feel like they can express their feelings and desires without shutting down.

You engage in emotional blackmail

This happens when one person has a problem and blackmails the other by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole.

For example, if someone feels like they were completely ignored at a social event, instead of saying, “I felt like you were ignoring me at Steve’s party,” they would say, “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t think.” “I’m fun at parties.”

If every little problem in a relationship turns into a big threat to the relationship, that’s a big problem. Not only does it create a whole bunch of drama, but it makes people afraid to share their feelings and causes breakups.

You blame your partner for your feelings

You’re having a bad day and your partner is too busy with their own life to show you the level of support or compassion you need.

Instead of making yourself feel better, you attack your partner for not being willing to meet all of your needs – no matter what they were doing.

Blaming your partner for how you feel is selfish and an example of disrespecting personal boundaries. Both parties in the relationship should be supportive but not obligatory towards their partners.

You act like an insanely jealous person

There is a belief that when a person loses his mind due to jealousy, he is truly showing his love.

Extremely jealous behavior is controlling and not only creates a lot of unnecessary drama but can erode trust. A little jealousy is good, but too much jealousy is not.

Trusting each other will work better in the long run.

You can compensate by buying gifts

When there is conflict, instead of dealing with it, one or both partners buy something expensive or book a trip, so the excitement masks the problem.

Here’s the thing: the problem has not gone away and will rear its ugly, negative face again. Deal with it as it comes, then go to the Bahamas to celebrate.

Here are 6 toxic relationship behaviors that most couples believe are normal:

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