A toxic relationship can be a different experience for everyone. But they all end with exhaustion and hurt feelings. Sometimes, we end up dating toxic people and building the wrong kind of relationships — specifically, unhealthy and toxic relationships. Being constantly in these relationships leads to confusion and distress for couples looking for a serious love commitment and lifelong partnership. Some couples fighting in a toxic relationship may go so far as to salvage everything they can.
Many types of bad relationships can be resolved with a little positivity and understanding. But, in reality, there are a few types of relationships in which the best solution is to break up. “Is my relationship healthy?” You may wonder. To understand the effects and warning signs of toxic and unhealthy relationships, you need to detail the characteristics and behaviors that distinguish these dangerous relationships from good ones. So, here are the three signs of the three types of unhealthy and toxic relationships that you should stay away from.
Related: 10 types of people in life you simply cannot trust, according to psychology
Here are 3 less obvious types of toxic relationships you need to avoid, and how to spot the signs:
- A dishonest relationship He lies
Studies show that 60% of adults can’t make small talk without distorting the truth slightly. Constant lying and dishonesty are emotionally devastating for both partners. There is no place for a liar in a responsible relationship. Couples should be honest, and communicative, and respect each other.
Keeping secrets
According to Divorcemag, about 1 in 5 people keep secrets about infidelity. Like lying, secrets can damage respect between partners and undermine trust. It’s nice to have a little privacy about something in the relationship like bank accounts. Your financial privacy can’t hurt someone emotionally. However, if you see someone else on the side, it could lead to problems.
Being defensive
Defensiveness is a reaction we have when there is a threat or a suspected crime. Excessive defensive behavior puts distance between spouses, making communication more difficult. It can also arouse suspicion and can be seen as hiding something from the other.
Demanding trust
Trust is an essential element in all relationships, and what insincere relationships need. Lack of trust alienates people, and it is disrespectful to continually show dishonesty toward someone. If one has to constantly beg their partner or spouse to “promise” honesty, or always expects the other to be dishonest, this indicates a void of trust between close couples.
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- An emotional relationship Emotionally unavailable
This happens when one partner harbors feelings and leaves the other in the lurch. Psychology Today says that giving your partner the cold shoulder makes them feel distant, unimportant, rejected, and not a priority. It has the same effects as dishonesty. Unfortunately, people often don’t realize how emotionally unavailable their partner is until they’re in a good relationship.
Disconnect
In terms of harboring feelings, separation, and distance can lead to the same negative feelings of feeling rejected and unimportant. But when both parties tend to distance themselves from each other, it is a major sign of a lack of romantic interest.
Dismissive behavior
This leaves a strong void between the two partners when one ignores the other’s feelings and conscious thoughts. The dismissive partner just wants to show their surface.
Lack of interest
Both partners may still have feelings for each other, but there is no real investment in the relationship. There is no strong empathy, no long-term goals, and no feelings for each other. They both have no real interest in each other.
- An abusive relationship manipulate
In healthy relationships, couples will get into disagreements and arguments from time to time. In an abusive relationship, the abuser will use hostility, aggression, and manipulation to control their partner into getting what they want.
Threats
The abuser will use physical threats against their partner in turn with manipulation. Other types of threats an abuser will use are emotional, verbal, and psychological. Just because these threats don’t warn of physical harm, doesn’t mean they should be taken seriously. Verbal harassment and emotional threats can be classified as misdemeanor domestic violence.
violence
According to Reach Out, Australia’s leading online mental health organization for young people and their parents, the level of physical abuse gradually increases throughout a relationship. The abuser will commit an act of violence against their victim and either continue to blame the victim for causing the violent outburst, or the abuser will apologize and ask for forgiveness to make it difficult for the victim to leave.
Possession
The abuser wants his partner to be with him always and does not give him any independence or freedom. A possessive abuser will often contact their partner when they are away, use excessive surveillance, and keep them away from their family.
Are these bad relationships repairable? Some may have the ability to turn positive. For example, an abusive relationship is resolved when the victim leaves their abuser and never returns, but leaving can be very difficult for victims. The victim may already have a family, home, and financial resources in common with the abusive spouse. It can be very dangerous for someone to escape an abusive relationship. (There are many resources such as domestic violence law experts and organizations such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline where trusted people help victims leave the abusive relationship safe and sound with protection.)
What about non-abusive relationships? Can it be repaired? It can be an emotionally exhausting and disappointing experience when a productive relationship begins to deteriorate. A relationship that is experiencing complications or a lack of intimacy may have a chance to repair before a decision is made to cut ties. Accountability, commitment, and understanding are key factors partners need when trying to mend a broken relationship. Partners should discuss their feelings openly and listen to each other to process their emotional state. Relationship counseling is also offered to couples who wish to seek professional help from an expert.
