It’s a fact of life – we all encounter people who are difficult to be around. Often, they are not fully aware of the behaviors that make them so difficult.
According to psychology, there are specific patterns that these individuals tend to display, which can make interacting with them a real test of patience.
In this article, we’ll take a closer look at these behaviors — eight in total — that people who are difficult to be around tend to exhibit, often without even realizing it.
Understanding these patterns can provide us with the insight needed to navigate these difficult relationships more effectively.
Let’s get started.
1) Constant negativity
We all have our off days, but when someone is constantly negative, it can be stressful to be around them.
Psychology suggests that chronically negative individuals tend to view the world through a pessimistic lens, which colors their interactions and relationships.
It’s not just expressing dissatisfaction or venting about bad days, it’s a pervasive mindset that can seep into every conversation and interaction.
When you are constantly around a negative person, you may feel like you are stuck in a spiral of negativity. This can be stressful and can make the person difficult to be around.
It is also worth noting that oftentimes, these individuals may not even realize that they are doing this. They may see themselves as mere pragmatists or pragmatists, without realizing how their negativity affects those around them.
Understanding this pattern can help us treat these individuals with empathy rather than frustration, and even help them see the impact of their behavior.
2) Overbearing control
Here’s something I’ve personally experienced – people who feel the need to control everything.
I had a friend who always had to make decisions. From choosing which restaurant to eat at, to deciding which movie to watch, it was always about what they wanted.
This kind of behavior can be incredibly stifling. It seems like your opinions and preferences don’t matter, and it can be very difficult to deal with them.
Psychology attributes this behavior to a deep need for control. Oftentimes, these individuals may feel insecure or anxious, and controlling their environment—including the people in it—provides them with a feeling of security.
But being on the receiving end of this behavior can be very frustrating. You start to feel like a doll, and that’s not a healthy dynamic for any relationship.
The worst part? They may not even realize they’re doing it. It’s just their way of running their world.
3) Frequent interruptions
Imagine this. You’re immersed in a conversation, sharing a story, or expressing an opinion, and then – oh my! -You’ve been interrupted. It’s not just once or twice, it’s a recurring pattern.
People who frequently interrupt others often do so without realizing the negative impact it has on those around them. This behavior can make others feel unheard and undervalued, leading to strained relationships.
Psychology shows that interrupting is often a sign of impatience, lack of respect, or even a desire to control the conversation.
In Dale Carnegie’s famous book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” he emphasizes the importance of active listening in building strong relationships. Constant interruptions are a clear violation of this principle, making it difficult to have meaningful conversations.
When you notice someone constantly cutting into your sentences, it’s not just an annoying habit — it’s an obstacle to effective communication and relationship building.
4) Constant complaining
We all know someone like this. No matter what happens, they always seem to have something to complain about.
Whether it’s about the weather, their job, or the traffic on their way to work, these individuals have turned complaining into an art form.
According to psychology, chronic complainers often feel dissatisfied with their lives. Their constant complaints are a way to express this dissatisfaction.
However, it can be very difficult to be around this constant negativity. It can create a toxic environment that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
Often, these individuals do not realize how much their complaints affect those around them. They may see it as just expressing their feelings or being honest about their experiences.
But understanding this behavior can help us be more patient and empathetic when dealing with chronic complainers — and perhaps even help them find more positive ways to express their feelings.
5) Lack of empathy
There is something very frustrating about interacting with someone who lacks empathy.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a cornerstone of human communication. It is the glue that holds us together and makes us care about each other.
But some people suffer from this. They have difficulty putting themselves in other people’s shoes or showing understanding when someone else is going through a difficult time.
According to psychology, individuals who consistently display a lack of empathy may have difficulty recognizing and processing their own emotions and the emotions of others.
Dealing with someone who lacks empathy can be extremely frustrating and painful. You may feel like you are talking to a brick wall, bouncing your emotions off without having any effect.
The sad part? Many people who lack empathy are not aware of their powerlessness. They are not intentionally cold or uncaring; They are simply struggling to connect on an emotional level.
6) Continuous bidding
Have you ever been in a conversation where someone always has a bigger and better story to share? I mentioned a great book I read, and they read something a little more profound. You share your travel experiences and have been to more exotic places.
This constant bidding can be exhausting. It feels like you are in a never-ending competition where your experiences and achievements are constantly overshadowed.
Psychology suggests that individuals who engage in constant one-upmanship often do so out of insecurity. They feel the need to prove their worth and prove their superiority, and they do this by always trying to outdo others.
The irony is that this behavior often pushes people away rather than bringing them closer to them. It can make interactions feel superficial and competitive, rather than authentic and enriching.
One-upmanship may make these individuals feel better about themselves in the short term, but in the long term, it can damage relationships and make it difficult to be around.
7) Unreliability
We all have moments where we drop the ball. Maybe we forget a meeting, arrive late or fail to meet a deadline. But when this becomes a pattern, it can be very frustrating for those around us.
People who are constantly unreliable tend to break their promises, forget their commitments, and let others down regularly. This lack of dependability can put a strain on personal and professional relationships.
Psychology suggests that chronic unreliability can stem from a variety of factors, including poor time management skills, lack of responsibility, or even underlying issues like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
The problem is that these individuals often do not realize the negative impact of their behavior. They may consider themselves relaxed or spontaneous, without thinking about how their unreliability affects others.
8) Excessive criticism
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, it can be very difficult to be around overly critical people.
These individuals have a knack for finding fault with everything, from the food they eat to the people they interact with. Nothing seems good enough for them.
Psychology suggests that overly critical individuals often suffer from self-esteem. They project their fears onto others, using criticism as a defense mechanism.
This behavior can be very destructive. It can erode self-confidence and create a negative environment.
The key here is to remember that their criticism speaks more about them than it does about you. Understanding this can make dealing a little easier when you’re on the receiving end of their criticism.
Final reflection: It’s all part of the human condition
As we grapple with the complexities of human behavior, it is essential to remember that each person carries their own set of challenges, insecurities, and fears.
Individuals who exhibit these eight behaviors—persistent negativity, unreliability, and excessive criticism—are not inherently “difficult” people. Rather, they are individuals grappling with their issues, often without realizing how these issues affect others.
Psychological theories suggest that many of these behaviors stem from deeper internal conflicts, whether that be low self-esteem, anxiety, or even neurotic conditions.
