They say love makes the world go round. But I would add something else to that – confidence.
Imagine a world where we never trust each other. Where we question everyone’s intentions and maintain our integrity through layers of doubt.
Sounds exhausting, doesn’t it?
For society to function and for us to live in harmony, we need to be able to trust each other and give people the benefit of the doubt when they make mistakes.
However, I also know that some types of people do not deserve our precious trust.
In this article, let’s explore what psychologists have to say about this topic. Here are 10 types of people in life you can’t trust, according to psychology:
1) Bad gossipers
I’m sure we all have encountered this type of person at some point in our lives. They’re everywhere!
Heck, we may even be engaging in gossiping behavior; After all, we’re human and a little chat with others can sometimes feel like just a way to communicate.
Psychologists say that gossip is not necessarily a bad thing. It is an exchange of social information that can help us learn more about our social world.
When does it get bad? When done in a bad context – recklessly or with malicious intent to get ahead.
Those who do this don’t deserve our trust, so stay away from them. You never know if you’ll be the next target of their gossip!
2) Fair weather friend
What’s also untrustworthy is that friend who only seems to reach out to you when things are going well or when they need something from you.
I once had a friend like this. We had great times together during celebrations or when she needed support. But during my difficult times and I would reach out to her for support, all I would get was… cockroaches.
In the end, I realized I couldn’t rely on her. That’s what happens with fair-weather friends.
According to Dr. Leon Seltzer of Psychology Today, “The two main characteristics of stable, long-lasting friendships are loyalty and reliability. These are missing in fair-weather friends.
Real talk: One-sided relationships never inspire trust. They are not worth your time and energy.
3) People who never apologize
What about people who never seem to realize that they are at fault in a situation?
Or if they apologize, it is a kind of fake apology, such as:
“I’m sorry you feel this way”
Sorry if I insulted you…”
“If you hadn’t made me so angry yesterday, I wouldn’t have said those words…”
“If you need to apologize, you need to apologize too. We need to apologize together.
Have you noticed a lack of accountability? You simply cannot trust someone like that.
As a life coach and counselor, Becky Lennox says:
“When individuals in a relationship lack self-accountability, it will lead to various challenges and negative outcomes for both partners. It can be a never-ending cycle of relationship dysfunction.”
4) The constant victim
Talking about accountability brings me to that other type of blamer – the eternal victim.
Do you know someone like that? There’s absolutely nothing their fault – it’s their parents, their circumstances, their boss, their spouse… hell, the universe is even conspiring against them!
Trusting someone who always plays the victim is difficult. As I mentioned earlier, a lack of accountability makes it difficult for relationships to thrive. It’s hard to be with someone who feels powerless to change what needs to be changed.
Then there is the fact that playing the victim can be a way to manipulate people.
Some people have a victim mentality caused by low self-esteem. But others do it consciously because it is a way to make others give in to what they want.
5) Selfish people
VeryWellMind defines egocentrism as “one person’s inability to understand that another person’s point of view or opinion may be different from their own.”
In other words, they:
Emotional deficiency
He cannot recognize what others need
Make decisions only about what they need
Being with a selfish person feels like another one-sided relationship. Dr. Lisa Rankin explains why you can’t trust this person:
“A relationship should never be a platform that serves one party’s ego and pushes the other person down — just so the ‘above’ person can win at all costs, regardless of the emotional impact on the other person.”
It’s hard to trust someone who’s always looking for number 1, right? You can’t count on them to support you or even just think about how you feel.
6) Liars and cheaters
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that you can’t trust liars and cheaters. We’re not talking about occasional or small white lies here, after all, almost all of us do them from time to time.
We are talking about a clear pattern of dishonesty and deception, where the person often:
He makes vague statements
It tells half the truths
Withholds information
Decorates stories
Tells outright lies
Engages in cheating behavior
Now, this is difficult, because sometimes people regret it and learn. Some couples who have experienced infidelity manage to overcome the difficulties and go on to have a happy and faithful relationship.
Unfortunately, these cases are few. You see, dishonesty is something the brain can easily adapt to, as one study found. This means that the more a person lies, the more his mind becomes accustomed to lying.
In the end, it depends on your decision – should you give the liar/cheater another chance? Only you know the answer to that.
7) Gas lighters
“You’re just being paranoid. This never happened.”
“I never said that; you’re remembering wrong.”
“You’re so sensitive, I was just kidding!”
Have you ever had someone say things like this to you? You may have come into contact with a gaslighter, which is another type of person you cannot trust.
Gaslighting is not only untrustworthy; It’s completely offensive.
Psychologists say that the goal of charlatans is to “manipulate another person and present his or her thoughts and feelings as the truth.”
I’ve been in a relationship like this, and let me tell you – it won’t happen again. I will never again allow anyone to make me doubt my sanity and memory and make it difficult for me to distinguish truth from lies.
I hope you stay away from this type, you don’t need someone to tell you you’re imagining things when you know exactly what you saw and heard.
8) People who are mean to animals
There are animal lovers and non-animal lovers. Then some people are cruel to animals.
Watch any documentary about a psychopath, and you’re likely to find a common thread: cruelty to animals.
Well, let’s be clear, not all psychopaths are cruel to animals. However, treating animals poorly is a warning sign that a person is not a respectable person.
Anyone cruel to the defenseless truly lacks empathy and kindness. Animals can’t always protect themselves or tell us when they’re hurt, so they depend on us to be kind.
If someone chooses to be harsh or cruel instead, that’s troubling. It makes you wonder how they treat others who are vulnerable, like children and the elderly.
This often indicates larger issues with how they view and treat those at their mercy.
Run as far away from them as you can.
9) very nice People
So is the other end of the spectrum correct? Do nice people deserve our 100% trust?
You might think so, but surprisingly not. Do you remember the old saying “Everything in excess is bad”?
This applies here as well. The problem with people who are too nice is that it smacks of inauthenticity. No one is that nice, and certainly not all the time!
I’m more wary of people who act nice than people who are rude and mean upfront.
do you know why? Because with the latter, you can see the red flags right away. You know very early on that you have to stay away from them.
But with the former, not so much. They can be fooled by kindness, flattery, and love-bombing behaviors, only to later discover they have ulterior motives.
At its most innocent, being too nice may just be a desire to be loved and accepted. At its worst, it can be a mask for darker impulses.
Either way, it’s hard to trust someone whose kindness hides their true nature.
10) People who violate your boundaries
A few years ago, I had a colleague who couldn’t understand the concept of personal space and time. It started when he would frequently visit my office to chat, even when I was busy.
At first, I thought he was just being friendly, but then it got to the point where he would call me late at night or on weekends to discuss non-urgent work matters. He continued even after I asked him not to do it.
It made me feel very uncomfortable, beyond just annoying. It gave me the feeling that this person could not be trusted.
Now, just because you cross someone doesn’t automatically mean they don’t respect your boundaries. They may not be aware of this, in which case, it is your duty to inform them of your limits.
If they continue to do that after that, then this is someone you cannot trust. Because then it’s clear that your comfort and peace of mind don’t matter to them.
Final thoughts
Can people change? Sure, but it often takes a real desire to do it and a lot of hard work.
If they are willing to do this and you see positive changes happening, maybe you can finally get to a place of trust.
But until then, it’s best to protect yourself. Stick to people who respect you and contribute positively to your life. Trust is earned through consistent and respectful actions, so give it to those who truly deserve it.
