If you left an abusive relationship and got rid of the narcissist in your life, first of all, congratulations! You are no longer the source of the narcissist and you can begin to live a full and free life.

But sometimes people get out of the relationship and start seeing the narcissist with someone else, either online or in person. You might consider them a downgrade. These thoughts and opinions can make you feel doubtful and confused. What’s wrong with me? What does this new offer say about me?

Why are they discounted?

When we look at someone, we automatically make judgments based on things like their appearance, the way they dress, their occupation, or their possessions. This is part of human nature and natural observation.

The problem is when we give value to someone because of those things. Ultimately, those external things do not determine a person’s worth.

So, when people talk about someone else being “demoted,” it means making a quick and unfair judgment about someone without knowing much about them. When you see a narcissist with someone else who you consider to be disrespectful, you don’t know their whole situation or story. Automatically viewing someone as a discounter is a place of judgment, not an open and compassionate place.

Narcissists and their new supplies

Instead of viewing someone as a low-level narcissist, we should consider that they are just the narcissist’s next source of supply.

For the narcissist, there is no “downgrade” or “promotion” – only supply. Because they don’t care what a person looks like, let alone who they are as an individual. Instead, they look for something else, such as:

• Money, property, and other property
• Sex
• Authority and power
• Communications and networks

These things do not have to be related to appearance or anything else. Many narcissists date models and celebrities, showing them off like arm candy at a party. But after the party is over, there is no special treatment towards them.

There is nothing that will “keep” a narcissist except the supply they are looking for. It’s just about the show.

Cautionary tale: You may be downgrading

Looking at someone as a downgrade comes from a place of judgment – ​​you don’t know their story. The truth is that many people have lost everything from a previous toxic relationship with a narcissist. Because of toxic relationships, people often lose their jobs, turn to drugs or alcohol, or lose custody of their children. These things can be considered “downgrading” qualities.

But here’s the thing: it could be you.

If you stay in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you may also lose your job, your family, your appearance, or anything else. And maybe the next person the narcissist ends up with will view you as a discounter.

So, let’s be compassionate and compassionate – we don’t know people’s stories and what brought them to the current situation they are in. And if they are in a relationship with a narcissist, they have likely experienced trauma and toxicity that led to it. To a negative place in their life.

You can’t know a person’s full story, but you know that a narcissist will do anything to fix, to supply. Promoting or demoting is not an important concept to them as long as they get what they want from the relationship.

Conclusion

If you are looking at the narcissist’s new offer and consider it a downgrade, first ask why. What do you envision that makes you think this way?

Then come to a place of empathy and understanding – you know nothing about them and their story, and it is unreasonable to make quick assumptions about their value because it appears to be other external factors.

More than that, it does not affect you. You have escaped from the narcissists and are no longer their source. So, they will go somewhere else to find it. But if you continue down the same path with a narcissist and keep them in your life, you could be the “one who gets demoted” and you could be the one who suffers.