According to narcissists, the rules don’t apply to them.
They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, and at the same time, you have to put up with their rule-free wrath.
There are some surefire ways to impress a narcissist and believe me when I say:
You don’t even have to do anything “wrong.”
A narcissist will not love you for asking simple questions. They will react to some of the “normal” things that anyone would say or do, and they will never forget anyone who stands up to them.
Let’s check out what you should never do with a narcissist.
Never try to contact them
Now, I get this all the time. People come to me and say, “I want to talk about the narcissist in my life. How do I do that effectively?”
You can not.
I repeat: you can’t.
Can you call a narcissist? Well – yes – but do you want to?
Not if you know the consequences!
Calling out a narcissist will hurt you much more than it will hurt them. They won’t care about your words, they’ll only care that you dare to stand up and try to call out their bad behavior (which they will deny, by the way).
Narcissists deny their bad behavior in several toxic ways.
You will notice the gas-lighting
The first path is the most common – gaslighting.
It didn’t happen that way.
You imagine things
I think you’re going crazy.
You’re just making things up now.
The narcissist will say any or all of these things when you are trying to get rid of them because they want you to feel as if what you are seeing is an illusion.
See also: Toxic Friend Alert: 10 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship
They didn’t act that way.
They would never do or say that.
Don’t you know them at all…
In fact, yes you know them. But they will do whatever it takes to convince you that you don’t.
Narcissistic rage
Narcissists have a tongue so sharp it could cut a tree trunk. Once they feel trapped by your attempt to summon them, they will go into a state of rage like never before.
They can throw the deepest insults your way, they can fly off the handle, and they can unfortunately get physical.
For this reason – it is not worth inviting them.
Projection – You are the problem!
Oh yes, of course, it could just be you who is the problem. If they upset you, the problem is not what they did, but how you responded.
The narcissist does not want to contain any negativity that he can hand to you when you try to get rid of him.
You are the reason I am the way I am – you are the narcissist!
Oh. Incorrect and bad timing.
Blame shifting
It wasn’t me, it was that person – they made me angry and I lost it!
No one can blame another person for their behavior. If the narcissist knew this, he would be able to self-reflect and admit when he is to blame.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen, which is why narcissists exist in the first place:
They refuse to take any blame for their actions.
You can’t solve the problem if you deny the problem exists, right?
See also: Toxic Love Books: 7 Books That Can Help You Break Free From Toxic Relationships
The cruelest way to punish someone for daring to call them out is to give them the silent treatment.
Any form of silent treatment is emotional abuse. They know it, but to you, all it does is produce intense feelings of anxiety and inadequacy.
what did I do wrong?
Are you well?
Please tell me how to fix this.
The narcissist will make you eat out of the palm of his hands.
No, you didn’t do anything wrong. You simply called someone out and they didn’t like it, so instead of feeling punished, they punished you.
Don’t ask why
Why do you do this or that?
Why do you think this way?
Part of the reason narcissists are asked why is that many people desperately want to understand them and how their brains work.
It’s normal for someone who can’t understand something to go to the narcissist to ask why, but guess what?
A narcissist will not make your coffee and sit down with you to tell you why it is so toxic.
Take a moment and think about what you want to understand when you ask “why.”
They don’t go through their day knowing exactly what they’re going to do when they wake up each morning. All they know is:
They need to protect their image.
They need to maintain their ego.
