Picture this: You’re sitting across from a friend, engrossed in conversation, when suddenly you feel the atmosphere change. Their tone becomes harsh, their eyes look accusatory, and you feel like you’re trapped in an emotional minefield. Now, this is emotional blackmail.
We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, whether it’s a toxic relationship, a manipulative friend, or even within our own families. But what exactly is emotional blackmail, and how to deal with emotional blackmail?
In this article, we will take a look at the world of emotional blackmail and try to understand all its nuances. We will talk about the signs of emotional blackmail, the types of emotional blackmail, and how to deal with emotional blackmail.
So, are you ready to do it?
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#What is emotional blackmail?
It’s as if someone is pulling a deceptive mind game on you to get their way. They will guilt trip you, threaten to do whatever they want, or even put the burden of their happiness on you. It’s all about manipulating you and your emotions so that you’re easier to control.
For example, your husband may threaten to divorce you if you don’t do exactly what he expects of you. Or if you’re in an abusive relationship, and you tell your friend you want to break up, and she says she’ll kill herself if you leave.
This is emotional blackmail, and it’s not cool, because no one deserves to be treated that way.
Okay, now that we know what emotional blackmail is, let’s talk about the types of emotional blackmail, shall we? Yes, there are different types of emotional blackmail, in case you didn’t know!
Types of emotional blackmail
Guilt Trip: This classic step involves making you feel guilty for not meeting the blackmailer’s expectations or desires. They may use phrases like, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat/reward me…”
The silent treatment: When someone acts detached and aloof or treats you coldly as a form of punishment or control, this is a clear case of the silent treatment and one of the worst types of emotional blackmail.
Victim Card: Playing the victim card means distorting situations to make them appear helpless or as if they are receiving unfair treatment. They use empathy and compassion to manipulate others into doing their bidding.
Threats and ultimatums: One of the most dangerous types of emotional blackmail, involves giving threats or ultimatums to force you to comply. For example: “If you don’t marry me, I will commit suicide.”
Manipulative flattery: They may shower you with lots of affection, compliments, and gifts to make you feel indebted to them, so they can control you even more.
Gaslighting: This is a psychological tactic in which the blackmailer attempts to distort your sense of reality and make you question your perceptions, reason, and emotions. Essentially, denying and distorting events makes you question your version of the truth.
Withholding Affection: One of the most painful types of emotional blackmail is withholding love, attention, or intimacy, and it aims to make you feel unloved and unworthy so that you are forced to comply with their demands to regain their love and affection.
Public defamation: This type of blackmail involves publicly humiliating or embarrassing you, either indirectly or directly, so that you respond to their demands out of humiliation and fear.
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Now that we know the different types of emotional blackmail, let’s talk about the signs of emotional blackmail.
7 signs of emotional blackmail
1. You’re treading on eggshells around them
Oftentimes, you may agree to their unreasonable demands because you are afraid of causing fights or arguments in the relationship. You try to keep them happy by agreeing with them on everything, and never saying no to them.
You choose your words carefully to avoid any quarrel, and this usually stems from deep fear. You always feel afraid and anxious when they are around.
2. They threaten to destroy things that are valuable to you.
This is one of the main signs of emotional blackmail. They gradually learn about your fears and weaknesses and then use them against you.
They may threaten to harm your valuables or destroy relationships with people you love. Oftentimes, they use the threat of leaving to prevent you from confronting them about their actions.
3. They have a very clear mindset.
What is emotional blackmail? Most people can find compromise on issues. However, those who use emotional blackmail see things from a completely black-and-white perspective; You are either with them or against them.
They insist that if you don’t meet their unreasonable demands often, it shows that you don’t like them and are trying to upset them. This manipulation tactic is a powerful one, especially during tense situations where you may only agree to avoid conflict.
4. They threaten to create a public spectacle.
Emotional blackmailers are experts at being drama kings and queens and are extremely skilled at creating tension. When you are in a public place with them, and you do not agree to do something, their reaction is to threaten to embarrass you in front of others.
You end up doing exactly what they want so as not to create a public scene. One of the worst signs of emotional blackmail is that it aims to humiliate you.
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5. They always play the victim.
What is emotional blackmail? A key indicator of an emotional blackmailer is his or her constant portrayal of the victim. They manipulate situations, and if you are right and justified during a disagreement, they may act as if they have been treated unfairly.
They often adopt a victim mentality, which may make you feel guilty. You may end up having to apologize to make things right, even when you’re not at fault.
6. They pressure you to comply with their wishes.
If you are in a relationship with an emotional blackmailer, you will notice that he puts intense pressure on you to do his bidding. They can use anger or tears to manipulate you into doing what they want.
Their intimidation style varies depending on the situation. These may include tears, endless drama, or even physical abuse. They will leave no stone unturned to force you to do what they want.
7. They threaten to hurt themselves if you don’t listen to them
One of the worst signs of emotional blackmail is here – they threaten to hurt themselves badly if you do something they don’t want you to do. For example, if you want to break up with your manipulative partner, he or she may threaten to hurt himself to prevent you from leaving him.
This tactic is designed to instill fear in you, forcing you to comply with their demands out of fear for their safety. Often, this fear pushes the victim back into the blackmailer’s control to prevent any harm.
