Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, and do you know how all narcissists behave in romantic relationships?
Narcissists have many predictable patterns, and their romantic relationships are no different. If you can learn their patterns, you can better protect yourself from them and their manipulation.
They usually follow a certain and predictable pattern throughout any romantic relationship they are in.
Related: How To Spot A Narcissist Just Based On Their Energy
#Here are 3 pieces of information about how narcissists behave in romantic relationships:
1. Love bombing
At the beginning of a relationship, narcissists are often a “love bomb.” This is where they shower you with extra praise and attention.
During a love bombing, the narcissist is funny, kind, considerate, and all the other things you look for in a partner. They often tell you how amazing you are and how you mean the world to them.
The narcissist calls you all the time and spends most of his free time with you. They seem to share many of your interests and have similar opinions to you. You start to wonder if you’ve found “the one.”
The narcissist is often quick to rush into the next stages of a relationship. They may suggest you live together, get married, have children, or all three!
If they are wealthy, they may convince you to quit your job. It can be quite a whirlwind romance.
Related: 7 Traits That Make You A Prime Target For A Narcissist
2. Devaluation of the currency
Once the narcissist feels “hooked,” the devaluation phase begins. The narcissist may feel that you are a drug addict if you show signs of emotional attachment to him. Or you depend on them, because you move in with them, get married, or have children.
See what they were doing during the “Love Bombing” stage?! They dig their claws into you, and then the games begin.
Narcissists often start with subtle insults. If challenged, they claim they were joking. They may also blame you for being too sensitive. This makes you doubt yourself, and you let their snide comments slide.
But in reality, it is gradually eroding your boundaries, like the sea relentlessly hitting the rocks. They bully you into accepting their negativity, and the comments become nastier and more frequent.
The narcissist stops caring about your “common” interests. They loved taking long walks around the countryside. But now that’s the last thing on their minds.
They begin to talk more, listen less, and become more controlling. She may become angry at the mistreatment she receives, and leave or threaten to leave.
Narcissists hate being single, so they act quickly and go back to the “love bombing” phase. They make excuses for their behavior – stressed at work, depressed, afraid of losing you. And they start treating you nicely again. for now.
It’s normal for you to forgive them and enjoy being treated like royalty again. But you probably know where this is headed. Once they feel that you are “hooked” again, they gradually return to the devaluation phase. And the insults and insults begin again.
Your relationship cycles between the love bombing phase and the devaluation phase over and over again. The more times this happens, the less time you spend in the love bombing phase and the more time you spend in the devaluation phase.
This naturally strips you of your self-confidence, and depression and anxiety become common. You begin to accept their bad behavior, and cling to the “good times.” You may feel like you don’t deserve any better.
Consequently, you become increasingly more accepting of their negative behaviors. And only when they lead you to your lowest point.
3. Disposal stage
Suddenly, the narcissist decides he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, except he won’t say it that way. They will blame you for why you ended it. You didn’t show them enough love. I have become too “sensitive”. I have changed.
But the real reason is usually because they found someone else. Narcissists hate being single. So, they only finish things when they have someone else lined up.
They may or may not be cheating, but they usually have something in the works. Their excuses usually include not doing enough for them. This is the smart part. They leave you thinking that you are the bad partner.
Some people beg them to come back and promise they will be better, while others feel guilty for ruining the relationship. The narcissist rubs his hands and likes this situation because he knows he can extract more from you.
The narcissist runs away with his new stock, but he plans to keep you on the back burner.
Narcissists can never have too many choices. Remember, they hate being single. If things don’t go well with their new supplies, they know you’re only a phone call away. And because you feel guilty, you’re more likely to take them back, and they know it very well.
If they get bored with their new supplies, they may call you and cry about how badly they’ve been treated. They flatter you by saying what they did wrong and how much better you are.
It is normal for many of them to be deceived, but the truth is that they are just using you for a fling. Now, you are in a kind of three-way relationship, which is known as “triangulation.” The narcissist is in the box seat.
They play against each other and sit back and enjoy the glow of two people fighting for their attention.
Over time, narcissists get away with treating you worse and worse. But this is done in a subtle and manipulative way, over months or years, as they constantly move between the three stages.
They continue to triangulate you with others and sit and watch the fun. Because they shift the blame onto you, you won’t be entirely sure who is to blame. This keeps you confused, off-balance, and always unsure of what’s going on.
At the same time, they get away with treating you progressively worse. It’s terrible, but this is a common pattern for narcissists in relationships.
They are not happy when things are peaceful and harmonious. They are always looking to create drama and conflict, and always want to be in charge.
If you think you may be suffering from depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone.
