As a certified trauma-informed somatic coach, Jenna Lea focuses on the trauma of betrayal and recovery from narcissistic abuse. Leah is a practitioner of Brain Discovery, an alternative treatment for processing trauma stored in the subcortical brain, which is responsible for emotions, awareness, learning, and movement. Based on the theory that trauma can remain lodged in the body, Brainspotting works to “reset” the memory of a specific trauma.
Leah shared her story on her website to give context to her work. After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, Leah had no self-worth, felt broken inside, and felt like she was lost in a deep hole with what seemed like no way out, but she found her way back to herself. Her process of healing from narcissistic abuse led her to help others heal as well.
It offers guidance on recognizing how narcissistic abuse works in relationships, along with ways to overcome that trauma.
#7 Cunning psychological tactics narcissists use to avoid accountability
1. Shifting blame
When a narcissist is faced with the issue of causing emotional damage, he or she will often use techniques to avoid any responsibility. Instead of admitting his actions and apologizing for hurting you, the narcissist will make it seem as if others, even you, are at fault.
Saying “sorry” is a skill we learn, a muscle that grows the more we use it. To truly apologize, a person must accept that they have hurt someone else and then work to change their behavior.
Related: 7 Traits That Make You A Prime Target For A Narcissist
2. Denial
Narcissists live in a constant state of denial, believing that they are never wrong about their actions. They will not acknowledge their negative or unhealthy actions, nor will they acknowledge that their behavior affects others. By denying reality, they destabilize their partner, allowing them to remain in control of the relationship.
3. Gaslighting
Another way narcissists use to destabilize people is to gaslight them, which Leah defines as “distorting facts and manipulating your perception of reality, to make you doubt your memories and experiences.”
4. Projection
Narcissistic people often react combatively to confrontation. Calling out a narcissist because of the way they hurt you or their bad behavior can result in them projecting that behavior onto you again. Projection is a way for them to deny accountability and make it seem like you are at fault.
By attributing their character flaws and negative traits to the people around them, they remove any sense of responsibility.
Related: The Interesting Thing That Happens When An Empath Abandons A Narcissist
5. Feeling like a victim
Leah explained that playing the victim is another way a narcissist refuses to acknowledge the validity of their partner’s feelings. “Narcissists often portray themselves as victims, creating a story where they are the ones who have been wronged,” she said.
6. Procrastination
Giving someone the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse that narcissists use to avoid accountability.
Narcissists “may use evasive tactics to escape facing consequences, whether that’s changing the subject or disappearing when confronted,” Leah said.
