Are you wondering what it’s like to date a narcissist or be in a relationship with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
A narcissist is the last person we want to have a relationship with. But, most of the time, we don’t realize that someone is showing signs of narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic abuse until it’s too late.
However, can a person with narcissistic traits and behaviors change their ways?
I’m sitting here in the basement of my house on one of the last cold spring days here in Colorado and all I can think about is how I miss having sex with him who turned out to be a narcissist.
Sure, I have other things to do like learn marketing, hire another 6-figure coach, and figure out how to change my station in life to match my intelligence. But I can’t get our time together out of my mind.
It started in a conference hall in Arizona at what was called an “event.” After three days of being influenced by club music and receiving information on how to go from nothing to millions, I had had enough. When I’m bored, the comedian in me takes over.
So, once the event was over, I was talking to people who were also attending the event and said, “Did you notice that they put the Kool-aid in the back of the room, and everyone started dressing the same, and we were all offered a big buy?”
That’s when he came in – the narcissist, although I didn’t realize it at the time.
We somehow connected via my Facebook Messenger app earlier today and I asked him if he wanted to meet me.
“Sure,” he said.
She texted him: “Look for the girl in the black hat.”
Sure enough, he found me.
The first thing he said was, “Wow, you’re energetic.” I forgot what I said again. But he replied, “We should hang out sometime.”
A few days before I met him, I had a strange desire to go to the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles. “Sure,” I said, “we should go to the Griffith Observatory together.”
“This is one of my favorite places,” he responded.
Sparks flew.
I went home to Colorado and he went back to California. We talked back and forth on Messenger for a few days.
Then he said something to me that changed everything. “I have something crazy to ask. Let me love you in a way that feels good.”
I live in a magical world so I didn’t question his request. I went with her. (This is called love bombing.)
Before I get into what happened in the early honeymoon period, I want to say that in the seventh month of knowing he exists, those first three months together are making me miss him more than any reasonable person should.
Simply put, I had the time of my life. It wasn’t luxurious. However, it is everything romantic movies are made of.
Two weeks after we started talking, I booked a flight to San Diego so I could go to Mexico and get some dental work done. Once I arrived and that was taken care of, I stayed with a friend for a few days before we met up with him for the second time. He drove from Los Angeles on Friday to pick me up.
Without going into all the details, let me just say that the physical contact was epic. I mean, we were having phone sex for a while, engaged in deep conversations, and didn’t laugh about anything. But when she finally got to kiss him, it was magical.
You said, “We can’t have sex when I come to see you.” I felt something for him and was trying to set some boundaries to protect us.
So, on the drive from San Diego to his house, we played music to fill in the awkward gaps that happen when you first meet someone you hope will be your everything. We were playing it cool while holding hands and joking back and forth.
Once we reached his place, we made plans to go to the observatory. A lot of intimacy was shared in a very short period of 48 hours. But we didn’t have sex. He stuck to those boundaries, which made me fall in love with him even more.
I can write about all the romantic moments we had. But after the third month, things changed. Things unfolded, forcing us into a seven-week battle. Then his ex-wife was involved.
Gaslighting behavior was evident and after our last conversation where he said, “I’m going to a movie with my ex this weekend” and then took her to a place she introduced me to.
I had enough. It hurt so much.
I want to share that I fought the good fight. I’ve referenced everything from The Cycle of Miracles to the pillars of relationship psychology. It closed more. So, a few days after our last phone call, I did what any writer would do. I put pen to paper, expressed my feelings, and sent him two different letters in the mail.
In the first letter, I talked about how painful it was to watch him go from my lover to pure evil.
