Everyone exhibits narcissistic traits, but the word “narcissistic” is often used to refer to personality traits that turn out to be unfavorable.
Only 1 in 200 people are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, 75% of whom are men.
People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to be selfish and reckless and are known to lack empathy. Dealing with a narcissist in your life, especially a family member, can be daunting.
Related: Fake friends: 5 things they do and what you can do about it
Some other symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder are an inflated sense of self-worth and entitlement, an insatiable need for attention, exploitation of others, an obsession with power, and the need to save face when shown in a negative light.
But there is one specific type of narcissism that is more toxic than the rest, and that is the malignant narcissist.
#What is malignant narcissism?
There are different types of narcissism, but malignant narcissism is thought to be the most dangerous of all. People with this type of disorder usually have a sinister side to their self-obsession.
Campbell’s Dictionary of Psychiatry defines malignant narcissism as “a psychological syndrome involving an extreme combination of narcissism, antisocial behavior, aggression, and sadism.”
This subgroup contains general narcissistic traits but also shows characteristics of antisocial personality disorder. Some of these symptoms are an internal desire to do sadistic things, a poor sense of self, paranoia, and a lack of communication skills. Some experts link malignant narcissism with psychopathy.
Studies have shown that malignant narcissists are impulsive due to their inability to plan properly, and can become angry and violent. They have a disregard for the safety of themselves and others.
If you think someone close to you has this disorder, know the signs so you can protect yourself and get them the help they need.
#Signs of malignant narcissism
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize the signs of a malignant narcissist. The American Psychiatric Association does not include malignant narcissism as a diagnosis in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
However, mental health professionals consider it a form of psychopathy. In particular, they link it to antisocial personality disorder.
Signs of malignant narcissism include:
Having an abnormal obsession with power
– Inability to deal with any criticism
Blaming others for their failures
Superiority complex
Need to be the center of attention
Show a lack of empathy and remorse
Tendency to attack when they feel rejected
Take advantage of others
They only apologize when it helps them
Finding happiness in the pain of others
Jealousy towards everyone, even their partners or family members
Paranoia
Related: Covert narcissist: 5 things they do and how to handle them
#How to deal with a malignant narcissist
Malignant narcissism is more than just a behavioral problem; it can threaten the lives of those close to it. However, there are ways to deal with this type of narcissism.
1. Put the blame where it belongs.
If you have dealt with a malignant narcissist for a long time, you have been conditioned to take responsibility for his or her actions. It is important to understand that none of this is your fault.
The nature of narcissism is to make the victim feel like they did something to deserve the mistreatment inflicted on them. Know that their bad behavior has nothing to do with you.
2. Take care of yourself.
Leaving a relationship with a malignant narcissist is no picnic. Once you decide to break up, they will do everything in their power to condemn you or damage your reputation.
Make yourself the priority in your life. Do not do any favors or introduce yourself in any way to your attacker. Keep all the love and support within you to yourself.
3. Disconnect.
If possible, the best way to heal from narcissistic abuse is to cut off all contact with the perpetrator. When you make the necessary adjustments and remove them from your life, they will try to attract you again.
A malignant narcissist can play nice when it suits him. Don’t believe the hype. The moment you allow them back into your life, you will fall back into the same patterns of dysfunction. Set boundaries and stick to them.
4. Stop trying to fix it.
There are times when you think you can help your malignant narcissist cure his illness. You can not. They need medical advice and psychotherapy, yet they will never be completely cured of the disorder.
Your efforts are more about you than them. You want to be in a healthy, thriving relationship and believe that if you can do this or that, things will get better. They won’t and you’re wasting your time trying.
Related: Breaking up with a narcissist: 11 things you need to know
5. Recognize the narcissist in yourself.
It’s easy to see narcissistic traits in other people, but have you considered that you might have some narcissistic traits of your own? If you’re like most people, you do.
There are times when every human being is a bit narcissistic. You may be holding on to a stressful relationship because you want to save face and maintain your image.
Make sure you’re not commenting for the wrong reasons. Your narcissistic traits could be a contributing factor to the dynamics of the relationship. If so, get the help you need.
6. Look at them with honest eyes.
Malignant narcissists change moods and personalities with the wind. One minute you’re sure they’re the saddest person in the world, the next they’re overwhelmed by magic.
