Dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be a complex and complicated endeavor. How do you communicate with someone with this diagnosis?
Well, the self-proclaimed “Narcissist Anonymous” regularly shares insights into the mind of a person living with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He recently offered a unique perspective on how to disarm someone who displays narcissistic behaviors.
#Here’s How to “Totally Disarm a Narcissist,” according to a diagnosed narcissist.
In a recent video shared on TikTok, the anonymous narcissist, also known as “Jacob,” delved into the deep insecurities that are often present in individuals diagnosed with BPD. He noted that their outward displays of greatness and superiority are usually masks for their belief in their unworthiness.
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“Narcissists believe they are unlovable,” he said. “This is why narcissists often show their personalities. This is because narcissists like me believe that we have to hide the unlovable aspects of ourselves.”
In his candid admission, Jacob asserted that some individuals may not be consciously aware of having such beliefs about themselves; It could be buried deep in their souls. This inner conflict often leads them to make accusations towards others about not having true love or care for them.
Jacob then shared his personal experience when one of his former partners was able to “disarm” him by recognizing and acknowledging these hidden parts of himself.
“She said to me, ‘Jacob, I know you’re hiding parts of yourself from me to the point where I’m not sure I’ll ever know you all,'” he said. “I’ve caught a glimpse of the things you’re trying to hide. And I love those things just as much, if not more, than the things you’re putting out in the open.”
According to Jacob, this statement was poignant because it addressed what lies at the core of many individuals with narcissistic personality disorder: the constant feeling of being insincere or inauthentic due to the constant regulation of their outward personality.
“I constantly feel fake,” he said. “I feel like anyone who says they love me is either falling in love with my personality or doesn’t know me well enough.”
By admitting to constant mask-wearing and invisibility in her relationship with Jacob, his ex made him feel seen in a way no one else had ever felt before. “It made me feel seen more than anything else,” he said. “And so I became the only person I could truly trust to love.”
Jacob’s candid confessions provide an inside look at life through the lens of someone who daily grapples with borderline personality disorder.
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#Does his advice succeed in disarming someone with narcissistic personality disorder?
In a medically reviewed article by Dr. Tara Bates Duford, June Grace told YourTango in May 2022 about how to deal with a narcissist. Furthermore, she offered advice on how to disarm one.
“The best way to disarm them is to take full control of your emotions and not feed their ego,” she wrote. “Disarming them verbally means not saying anything to them about themselves at all.”
However, sometimes it may not be helpful to disarm a partner who is displaying narcissistic tendencies. Instead, leaving the relationship could be the best option. But how can you do it safely?
Relationship counselor Nicola Beer told YourTango in March 2023 about how to leave a narcissist safely and securely. She offers some advice, including “Don’t discuss your plans to leave,” “Seek professional help,” and “Cut off all contact.”
It is important to note that there is no universal approach when interacting effectively with individuals diagnosed with BPD. Each person’s experiences will vary depending on individual factors, such as their level of awareness regarding their diagnosis.
So, Bear’s perspective on finding a specialist can help chart the best course of action.
Related: Neuroscience: The shocking impact narcissistic abuse has on the brain
