Have you ever met someone who was incredibly charming at first and then later discovered that it was all just a facade?
The thing about a deceptive person is that they are difficult to read. Their confidence and belief in themselves makes it difficult to doubt them at times.
In reality, they are just wolves in (very convincing) sheep’s clothing. Often, we don’t realize this until it’s too late.
So it’s best to keep our guard up when we have a hunch that something is wrong.
In this article, I will share with you a list of 10 signs that a person has a cunning and manipulative personality. Let’s dive in!
1) They are overly charming
When someone constantly flatters you, don’t give in right away. Sometimes, things are too good to be true. Think about possible underlying motives.
Although the latter may be difficult to decipher in the case of the charming manipulator; They are very skilled at their craft. They can sense weaknesses in others, and know how to use them to break down barriers.
Their goal is to make you trust them. Why? This is for you to decide. Take everything into consideration before you let anyone into your life. Factor in context, background, body language, etc.
Of course, most of the time people are just friendly. But for the strange partner, the abusive partner, or the snake oil salesman, you have to develop some kind of internal system to filter out those people.
2) You caught them lying
Of course, no one is perfect. We have all expanded truth at some point in our lives.
But if someone you know often says things that don’t make sense, they may be prone to lying.
Some people can convince themselves that their lie is actually the truth, which is a very dangerous practice.
Think about that true crime documentary you watched from Netflix… you know, the one about a cult leader and his blind followers.
What do all these sect leaders have in common? Firstly, they are all very charismatic.
Second, they believe their lies with so much conviction that people begin to believe them, until they finally reason.
Don’t be a cult follower, when you spot someone lying or manipulating the truth, consider it a big red flag.
3) They have a lack of empathy
Here’s the thing: You may have mixed feelings about a manipulative person despite all the red flags because he or she is “nice to me.”
Take it lightly my friend, these are all superficial matters.
Ask yourself, once the manipulator gets what he wants, does he maintain the same level of kindness toward you? If so, great. If not, you may have been manipulated.
Notice how they treat people they consider inferior to them, such as restaurant employees. Do they have empathy? If they are nice to you but treat the waiter or waitress poorly, they are not a nice person. Just cunning and manipulation.
4) They are controlling and controlling
If the manipulator gets what he wants, expect everything to be fine and dandy. But when things don’t go as they should, cracks will start to appear.
When you behave out of the ordinary in their view, they may resort to controlling behavior such as coercion or intimidation. They may also use psychological terrorism by using your weaknesses against you to get what they want.
It may take a while for their true colors to show, but when they do expect a lot of heartache and pain. Don’t let it get to this point. Run when you can!
5) They blame everyone but themselves
Sometimes, when a manipulative person makes a mistake, they use all their willpower to avoid accountability and try to shift blame.
Instead of admitting wrongdoing, they will find an innocent scapegoat to be held responsible for it.
This is not only common among individuals, but also occurs in governments.
Suppose there is a severe economic recession and a suspicious and incompetent government is primarily responsible. Instead of taking responsibility, they may decide to look for an easy target to blame such as immigrants or other marginalized groups.
In this case, the audience is being manipulated. Migrants are suffering, and the government is able to wash its hands of anything resembling accountability. well played.
6) They are professional in gas field
We touched on a little bit of control earlier. One of the most subtle forms of control is gaslighting.
At its core, gaslighting is a form of control. The deceitful person uses this tactic to confuse you, make you doubt your reality, and ultimately to undermine your sense of self-confidence.
If you suspect this is happening to you, don’t get carried away! Shake it off like a dizzy spell.
Take a step back and believe what your intuition is telling you about someone with a history of manipulative tendencies. You got this!
7) They feel guilty a lot
Have you heard the term “emotional blackmail”? Well, that’s basically what guilt is. The manipulative person realizes that guilt is a weapon.
Some people may be more prone to guilt than others. Therefore, for those who are easy to condemn, you should make an extra effort to protect yourself.
My ex-husband used to guilt trip me. I did this because I used to fall into it a lot.
Sometimes I would spend weekends with my family instead of seeing them. She would respond to this perceived taunt by throwing tantrums, saying she was suicidal, and threatening to guzzle a bottle of sleeping pills if I didn’t see her.
Like clockwork, I would drop everything to fix the situation, cutting back on my time with family to spend time taking care of them.
It was only when we broke up that I realized I had been manipulated for years.
She was an expert at playing the victim. This leads me to the next point…
8) They are professional victims
Here’s the thing: some manipulators have real acting skills. They can put out some Oscar level performances… at your expense.
Imagine this: being belittled daily by a manipulative person through snide comments or subtle insults. Then the moment you react or speak out against the verbal abuse, they play the innocent and harmless victim.
In fact, they can be so convincing that you’ll be the one who ends up apologizing.
Like a bull that sees red, when a manipulator sees weakness, he will milk you for everything you have.
9) They try to isolate you from others
Real talk: Because manipulators want total control, they don’t really want your other relationships to be around. They don’t want others to sway or influence you away from them and their tyrannical ways.
They may isolate you from your friends and family by talking about them until you finally buy it. This is not real, it is part of their plan to isolate you from outside contact.
Let’s go back to the example of the cult leader. One pattern I’ve noticed among victims is that they cut ties with their closest friends and family at the behest of the deceptive cult leaders.
This suggests that they have been sufficiently brainwashed, which is largely just a sophisticated form of manipulation. Their loved ones are left confused while the manipulator is very satisfied.
10) Your work and relationships suffer
Unfortunately, once you have been manipulated, it can be extremely damaging to your morale and self-worth. This is especially true when the manipulative person is someone close to you.
This can drain your energy and hinder your career, relationships, social life, etc.
Don’t let them win by letting all your opportunities go to waste. You owe it to yourself to take control of your life.
Fight back by cutting your losses and putting your best foot forward.
How to deal with manipulative and cunning people
Although my advice is to avoid it altogether if you have a manipulative person in your life for whatever reason, here are some strategies to make dealing with them a little easier:
Set clear boundaries: Put your foot down and communicate what boundaries you will or will not tolerate as a human being. Write it in a journal to reinforce your conviction. Eventually, the manipulator will catch…
Limit contact: Maybe you have “friends” who have manipulative tendencies. Gradually limit your interactions with them. Maybe they are going through a phase or haven’t grown up yet. In this case, so be it. Life is too short to have to stress about people who bring you down.
Practice self-care: As is known, manipulative people can be emotionally draining, so make sure you take care of yourself regularly. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation, and spending time with supportive friends and family.
Seek support: If you’re having to deal with a particularly manipulative person, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space to discuss your experiences, help you develop coping strategies, and empower your decisions.
