The harsh truth is: Toxic people can be found everywhere — and yes, they can even be your friends.

It’s not always easy to determine if you’re in a toxic friendship. You have become so close to them that you cannot see their behavior for what it is.

Certainly, all types of relationships have their highs and lows. But if your friend always seems to be crushing you instead of building you up, you need to evaluate whether the friendship is worth keeping.

Without further ado, here are some of the most common signs and behaviors of a toxic friend.

1) They constantly criticize you
Of course, we want our friends to always be honest with us. But there is a big difference between constructive criticism and harshness.

Does your friend often make comments that make you feel hurtful? Do they always find fault in everything you do?

These are all signs of a toxic friend. When someone genuinely cares about you, they will find ways to provide feedback without having to tear you down.

They will tell you the truth with empathy because their motive is to help you.

2) They control all conversations and decision making
Friends are supposed to be equals, which means compromise is necessary for a healthy friendship to flourish.

But if you have a friend who seems to have the upper hand in everything, this is a sign that you may be in a toxic friendship.

This happens when they talk too much and never hear you. They ignore your opinions and feelings and get upset when things don’t go their way.

And it can get worse: They make you feel guilty for not letting them make the decisions.

3) They are not responsible for errors
Have you tried talking to your friend about the time you felt hurt about something he said or did but he had nothing to do with it?

Yes, it’s not always easy to apologize for mistakes. But if your friend is always stubborn and refuses to admit when he’s wrong, it’s a sign that he might be toxic.

It takes a real, mature friend to be accountable for his decisions and actions. Any indication of selfish behavior is a red flag.

If someone wants to maintain a healthy and sustainable friendship, they must know when and how to say sorry and try to make amends.

4) They are often rude
Friends can tease each other and have fun from time to time.

But consider this: Is your friend…

• Insult you?
• Does he embarrass you in front of others?
• Makes fun of you to make you feel inferior?
• Makes fun of you by attacking your character and identity?
• Do you get bad or offensive jokes directed at you?

If you answered yes to these questions, this is a sign that you may be in a toxic friendship.

A good friend will never insult you, disrespect you, or make you feel small.

5) They never pray
Do you put almost all of your effort into making the friendship work? Do you feel that if you stop initiating and planning get-togethers, you will never hear from your friend again?

Another sign that a friendship may be toxic is that it is one-sided.

No matter how busy they are, true friends will make time for you because they care about you.

Even if they can’t meet you in person, they will always find ways to check up on you. They will show interest in you and reciprocate your efforts.

This brings me to my next point….

6) They only remember you when they need something from you
Friendships are about give and take.

But if you fall into a pattern where you’re always giving and your friend takes more than they give, that’s a sign of a one-sided, toxic friendship.

You know, that toxic friend who expects you to do everything for them but never returns the favor.

They will only call or reach out to you when they have a problem, but they are rarely available when you need them.

They take advantage of your knowledge, connections, skills, and generosity, but offer nothing in return.

7) They always talk about themselves
Here’s the deal: If your friend is selfish, meaning he only wants to talk about himself, that’s a big sign of emotional toxicity.

This usually happens when you’re in the middle of sharing something and they end up directing the conversation back to themselves.

It’s as if they have no interest in knowing more about how your life is going.

Again, you have to ask yourself whether the friendship is healthy and balanced. When you feel like it’s always just a personal conversation and not an exchange, the friendship may not be worth it at all.

8) They don’t support you
Think about this for a minute: Do you often feel that your friend doesn’t get excited when something good happens to you?

Do they change the conversation or say something bad every time you update them about major changes in your life?

Let’s say, for example, that you have a healthy relationship with your partner but have a conflict. Is your friend taking advantage of the situation to try to sabotage the relationship?

If so, this is a major sign of a toxic friendship. A true friend will share your enthusiasm.

They won’t be present at all of your milestones, but they will find a way to offer support.

Plus, they won’t turn their backs on you when things get tough.

9) They are jealous of you
Don’t get me wrong. It’s normal to feel jealous of a friend’s success from time to time.

But if that friend allows bitterness and envy to consume them and get to the heart of the friendship, that is a sign of toxic behavior.

This can be a very sad experience because you want your friend to sincerely celebrate your life alongside you.

You know that you deserve better than friends who take advantage of your success, refuse to congratulate you on your accomplishments, or choose to compare themselves to you.

10) They compete with you
Well, I know what you’re thinking. A little friendly competition is good too. But remember that the key word there is “friendly”.

If they are always looking to one-up you and make you feel like you have achieved little in comparison to them, this is a sign of a toxic friend.

You know they take jealousy to the extreme when they turn everything into a big competition.

11) They talk about you

Ah, this is a classic. You may think that endless gossip is very common, but it can be the quickest way to ruin a good friendship.

This is because it destroys the credibility and trust in long-term bonds.

If your friend is gossiping about you behind your back or sharing things that were supposed to be a secret, this is a sign of a toxic friend.

Anyone who betrays or lies to you or others does not have your best interests in mind.

12) They are inconsistent
Is your friend a sometime-ish person?

You know, the kind of person that always makes you wonder if they’re really committed to the friendship?

You feel frustrated because you scheduled a meeting with them but are always unsure whether they will follow through or not.

And it gets worse: They make all kinds of excuses and cancel plans with you at the last minute when something “better” comes along.

A true friend will never make you think twice about his attitude towards you. They will show up because they respect you, your time, and your friendship.

13) They don’t respect your boundaries
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to any relationship.

Friends should at least make you feel comfortable.

If they pressure you to do something you don’t want to do, this is a sign of toxic behavior.

A true friend will never violate the boundaries you set. They will listen to you when you say no and will not put you in a position that makes you feel unsafe.

14) They drain you and manipulate you
If you always feel stressed, trapped, or not at your best when you’re with your boyfriend, this is an indicator that the relationship is harming your emotional and mental health.

Ask yourself the following:

Do you feel like you can’t express your opinion so you walk on eggshells around them to avoid conflict?
Does it make you feel threatened or unsafe?
Do they attack you when they disagree with you?
Do they belittle your feelings or make you feel guilty?
Are they negative about everything all the time?
One of the main signs of a toxic friend is someone who often leaves you feeling uninspired and depressed.

finalthoughts

So, can you really break up with a toxic friend?