Everyone knows about the main tactics that most manipulators use. Things like gaslighting, passive aggressive behavior, love bombing, guilt tripping, projection, the silent treatment, and others.

However, master manipulators go so far as to control your life and make you do what they want you to do.

For this reason, in this article you will learn about some lesser-known tactics used by more experienced and perhaps more subtle manipulators.

1) Mirroring

Mirroring is a tactic in which the manipulator mirrors your behavior, interests, and emotions to create a false sense of connection and trust.

I also wrote about this in an article about how narcissists use love bombing to control you.

The way it works is that they adopt your hobbies, values, and even emotional reactions to make you feel more comfortable around them.

This tradition leads you to believe that you share a deep connection, when in fact it is a manipulative strategy to gain your advantage.

For example, a new friend suddenly embraces your political or social views, even though he or she previously held different views.

Or a colleague begins to express the same moral and ethical values as you despite previously demonstrating different principles.

2) Proxy lighting

Instead of putting the spotlight on you directly, a manipulator may convince others, such as friends, family members, or colleagues, to spread false information or rumors about you.

By recruiting others to manipulate them, they can make you doubt your perceptions and reality through a web of misinformation.

But how can they achieve this? How do they turn the people closest to you to turn against you?

Well, you won’t like the answer. As you can see, manipulators often have a degree of trust and influence over the people they convince to spread false information.

This trust may be based on a personal relationship, a position of authority, or a charismatic personality.

People can also be easily influenced by misinformation, especially when it comes from a trusted source.

If a manipulator is skilled at convincing others, he or she can convince them to believe almost anything, or worse, share false information.

3) Negligence

If you’ve never heard of neglect, it comes from negative feedback. It involves giving subtly or insulting compliments.

The manipulator may criticize your appearance, intelligence, or abilities in a way that undermines your self-esteem. This tactic is intended to make you seek their approval and validation.

Here are some examples of negation:

• You’d be really attractive if you lost a few pounds
• You’re not bad at it, considering you’re not naturally talented
• You’re very smart for someone who didn’t go to a prestigious university
• You look good for your age
• This outfit is…interesting. Not what I would have chosen, but it’s unique

4) Extracting confessions

Another thing manipulators are good at is adopting a friendly, non-judgmental behavior to encourage you to reveal personal information or secrets.

Once sensitive information is revealed, they can later use it against you as leverage or as a means of control.

For example, they pretend to be really worried about you and your safety, saying something like, “I’m really worried about you. You seem upset. Is there something you need to get off your chest?”

Or they may share their own personal vulnerabilities or secrets to create a feeling of trust and reciprocity, encouraging you to do the same.

For example, they might say, “I’ve been through some tough times too. Let’s open up to each other.”

5) Triangulation with objects

Triangulation usually means that the manipulator creates jealousy or competition through third parties, but some manipulators use material possessions instead.

They offer you gifts or things given to them by others to make you feel inadequate or spark feelings of competitiveness within you.

For example, your partner often shows off expensive gifts he receives from others, even though he knows it makes you feel inadequate.

They also constantly talk about the lavish gifts they receive from friends or fans to stir up jealousy and insecurity in your relationship.

6) Future fakery

Manipulators also often engage in faking the future by making big promises about a wonderful future you will have together.

They use this tactic to get what they want in the present, but often have no intention of following through on their commitments once their immediate goals are achieved.

In a similar way, they use the “bait and switch” tactic. They promise one thing and deliver something completely different.

They basically lure you in with an attractive offer or proposal but then change the terms once you commit.

Here’s something many job seekers encounter every day: You’re offered a job with the promise of a flexible schedule and excellent benefits.

After acceptance, you discover that the actual workload is exhausting, the schedule is strict, and the benefits are minimal.

7) False interest

Feigning excessive concern for your safety, even when there is no real threat or problem, is another tactic of professional manipulators.

But what exactly are they accomplishing with this?

Well, they use this attention as a way to control your decisions and actions, making you dependent on their guidance and protection.

For example, they might suggest: “I’m afraid your current job is negatively impacting your health. You should resign and let me support you while you figure things out.

As you can imagine, a manipulator seems concerned about your career and health, but his real goal is to make you financially dependent on him.

8) Hoover

Panning refers to the manipulator’s attempt to bring you back into a relationship or situation after you have distanced yourself from it.

This can happen in a romantic relationship, friendship, or any type of interpersonal communication.

Again, they may use flattery, promises of change, or guilt to regain your trust and participation.
The manipulator may also offer superficial or insincere apologies for past behavior. In addition, they will admit some of their mistakes.

But they rarely take full responsibility or make real efforts to change.

They can also be selectively honest at times. They will do anything to get you back there.

9) Selective honesty

Speaking of selective honesty, professional manipulators strategically reveal certain truths or half-truths to gain your trust, even though they continue to hide more powerful and damaging information.

This keeps you off balance and dependent on their version of events.

Politicians are arguably known for this: they selectively reveal facts to shape public opinion.

They do this by presenting only data that supports their position while ignoring or downplaying information that contradicts their narrative.

The worst part is that it works incredibly well.

10) Gas lighting with technology

Manipulators also use technology to gaslight you by altering digital records, deleting messages, or manipulating photos to distort reality and make you question your memory.

This is something that is easy to do when they are dealing with someone who has no experience with technology.

For example, they delete important emails from your inbox or sent folder, making it appear as if you never received or sent certain messages.

They can use this to create mistrust or hide evidence of their actions.

They may also create fake social media posts or messages from your account, making it look like you posted something offensive or inappropriate. This of course could damage your reputation.

They can simply suggest or claim that you have been hacked, which is true to some extent. But they were the ones who did it

11) Love of withdrawal

Similar to the silent treatment, love withdrawal occurs when a manipulator withholds affection, love, or emotional support as a form of punishment.

They simply threaten to end the relationship or make you fear losing their love to force them to obey their demands.

They might say something like this: “If you really love me, you’ll do what I say. If you don’t, I don’t know if I can be with someone who doesn’t love me enough.

This is such an easy tactic that they may do it every week or even more often until they notice that it is not effective anymore.

finalthoughts

These less common manipulation methods can be just as harmful as more widely known methods.