Often, it is tampered with, and we do not even realize it until it is too late. The thing is that manipulators are completely similar to us. They do not resemble the bad guys. Most of them are also charming on the surface.

All this makes it difficult to recognize maneuver that tries to use or control us.

However, there are some typical behaviors that reveal whether someone is a secret mane.

Here are these behaviors:

1) Mache manipulation

Unlike public manipulators, who regularly use aggressive or clear tactics, Saron manipulators use accurate techniques.

They use tactics such as negative resistance, silent treatment, or emotional withdrawal to manipulate situations and people without appearing very clear.

For example, they share a makeup story with you about how they deal with their families to gain your sympathy and support.

They use their “emotional weakness” as a financial lever to make you do things for them, even if it is uncomfortable for you.

2) Devil of blame

Hidden manipulators also avoid the responsibility of their actions. They are skilled in converting the focus away from their mistakes or mistakes.

They like to direct fingers to others, external conditions, or by making excuses. They have learned that they can stay away from avoiding confrontation every time.

If you are around them for a long time enough, you see through their strategy, but the problem is that others may not believe you if you tell them.

If you go to your boss for your manipulative behavior in your workmanship, it is likely that the president is standing next to them and defending them.

Why? Because a good manner succeeds in manipulating them as well. Often, they will accuse you of bullying and play the victim’s card.

3) Play the victim

They are simply adept at photographing themselves as a victim in different situations. They exaggerate their suffering or draw themselves as the people who have been ill.

This gives them sympathy and support from others, which makes it difficult for you to face their behavior.

They change suddenly and become weak or emotional to gain sympathy and reinforcement.

That is why it is difficult to expose others. They do not behave like us. Lying, demonstrating and manipulation is the second nature of these people, and most of us are not equipped to deal with them.

Here is an interesting thing about their corrupt behavior.

4) Driving

We have all seen it countless times: the most sacred is the person who do the same thing to preach.

The manipulators conclude their negative features or actions on others. They accuse their goals of the same behaviors in which they are involved, which turns attention from their actions.

What leads us to this:

5) Antistoming negative communication

Instead of publicly addressing issues or conflicts as they are, secret manipulators depend on aggressive negative communication.

This includes ridicule, guidance compliments, or even precise strikes to express dissatisfaction without being very confrontation.

To be honest, this parents often use their children. They use aggressive negative comments such as, “I’m sure you know what is better for you”, when their child makes a decision they do not agree with.

This is a hidden way to say how different they are without saying this publicly. If you are thinking about your childhood, I’m sure you can remember moments like this.

Here is something else used by many parents, especially mothers.

6) Get tired of guilt

Slip manipulations are used as a tool to control others. They say things like, “If you care about me, you will do this for me,” in an attempt to make you feel responsible for their happiness.

My parents still use it to me, and even my wife. They strongly want us to move to our hometown. This is something I can’t even imagine, but almost every time we talk, they ask about it.

Certainly, I understand that they want us to be closer to them, but this is not something we want to do. That city is like a black hole for ambition.

7) Withholding information

Most manipulators also love to block important information. By controlling the flow of information, they can form novels and address situations in their favor.

This leaves others in the dark about the main details or their real intentions.

They often forget the previous agreements, promises or obligations when they fit their agenda.

And when they use a selective memory in their favor, it often lets you feel confused and frustrated.

Instead of frank lying, some manipulators selectively reveal partial facts, which leaves important information to mislead or deceive others.

You can imagine how this can make it difficult to see the full picture.

But unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. They often change and modify their version of events or stories to suit their needs.

This inconsistency makes it almost impossible for you to prove the truth or hold them accountable for their actions.

It all comes down to testing how far they can go. They push everyone’s limits as far as they can.

8) Push the boundaries

Instead of respecting personal boundaries, manipulators constantly test and push those boundaries.

They use subtle methods to push boundaries, making you feel uncomfortable or unsure about discussing your needs and boundaries.

For example, when they are in a relationship, they flirt with others, even though they know it makes their partner uncomfortable.

When confronted, they downplayed it, saying, “I was just being friendly.” Yes, correct.

This example is also an illustration of gas lighting.

9) Gas lighting

Gaslighting is a well-known manipulative tactic where the manipulator denies facts or events to make you doubt your reality.

They insist that something didn’t happen when it did, leading you to question your memory, reason, and judgment.

To combat gaslighting, keep a log of incidents in which you felt gaslighted. Think about them to validate your experiences and emotions.

They can also serve as evidence if you need to expose or confront them.

10) Insincere flattery

We all love getting compliments. I know this, you know this, but they know this too. Unlike a genuine compliment, which we use to express something we notice about someone, manipulators use compliments insincerely as a means to an end.

They flatter or flatter people excessively. Often to gain trust, lower defenses, or manipulate the person into doing something they want.

And when they don’t get what they want, well, they do this:

11) Escalation of the conflict

Most normal people do not like to fight with others and do not like to get into conflicts with their co-workers, friends, and families.

But instead of seeking to resolve conflicts, covert manipulators escalate them. They do this to quickly and easily maintain control or distract attention from their behavior.

The best way to do this is to turn minor disagreements into major disagreements.

For example, there is a small disagreement between you and your partner about household chores. A manipulative partner brings up irrelevant past mistakes you’ve made, turning a small problem into a big fight by removing old grievances.

In the end, they get away with not doing the housework.

12) Triangulation

This is the thing I hate the most. You see, when I dealt with a secret manipulator at my previous workplace, I tried to deal with them personally without including our manager or other colleagues.

But that is easier said than done. Secret manipulators look to divide and rule. They involve another person in conflicts or situations to manipulate their emotions and make people loyal to them stand up for them.

By creating divisions or competition, they control and manipulate all participants to their advantage.

13) Undermining your self-esteem

I can’t end this article without mentioning how much manipulators love to undermine people’s self-esteem.

Secret manipulators subtly destroy your self-esteem through subtle criticism, belittling comments, or comparisons with others.

For example, a manipulative partner makes subtle comments about your appearance, such as saying, “You looked so good when we first met,” implying that you have let go or are not attractive anymore.

Now, thick-skinned people may laugh it off and dismiss it, but for others, over time, such comments greatly erode their self-confidence.

finalthoughts

I hope this article has helped you understand manipulators more and that identifying secret manipulators is not difficult if you know what to look for.