Manipulators are everywhere.
They can be your bosses, colleagues, friends, partners, family or even strangers. But these people want to exploit and abuse you if they can.
The American Psychological Association defines manipulation as “behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one’s own advantage.” So, with this definition, we can see that although manipulation can be evil, it does not always have to be so.
It can be said that Instagram stars are manipulative because their behavior is specifically designed to influence you. Advertising also aims to get you to do something you wouldn’t normally do, which is buy the product.
Related : If someone is emotionally manipulating you, they’ll display these 8 subtle behaviors
But in this article, we’ll talk about the dark side of manipulation. When I talk about manipulative people here, I mean people who exploit, use, and abuse others and have no qualms about doing so.
To protect yourself from being hurt by these people, you need to arm yourself and the best way to do this is to be able to quickly pick out the manipulator and keep him at a distance.
So, if you recognize these seven signs, you are dealing with a truly manipulative person and you should definitely avoid them.
1) They are quick to criticize.
Manipulative people are trying to gain some advantage, and this often means that they feel like they need to take something from someone else.
One way they do this is by being very critical.
This helps them devalue others or their work and make themselves look better in comparison. Or at least that’s what they’re trying to do.
If you find yourself frequently being criticized by someone in your life, you may have to take a step back and try to look at the situation objectively.
They may have perfectly valid reasons to criticize you, or they may be trying to manipulate you. If criticism always comes from just one person while others are actually praising you, or if their criticism seems like it’s meant to hurt you instead of being constructive, you should handle it with caution.
2) It seems like they are trying to isolate you.
This is something you might expect to be normal in romantic relationships. We all know that some people jealously guard their partners and spouses.
But you may be surprised to know that this can happen in friendships and even in work relationships.
Essentially, isolating someone is an attempt to prevent them from associating with other people, or at least to limit that association as much as possible. They try to keep you to themselves and away from others.
Why would anyone do that?
Well, the reason is simple – they are getting something from you that they don’t want to share with anyone else.
This can be anything, including sex, obedience, dependence, emotional support, experience, advice, and much more.
Overall, whatever it is that you have, it is something they desperately need. Because they are so needy, they assume others are too, which is why they feel the need to isolate you.
They are afraid that others will take from you what they take, and they will be left with nothing.
So, how do you factor into the whole equation? Usually, they don’t care about you, they only care about what you can offer them.
Therefore, your emotional suffering as a result of isolation does not concern them.
Cold and calculated, right?
3) They highlight you.
Gaslighting is a modern name for an ancient behavior – the attempt to make a person doubt their own version of reality and replace it with an altered one.
Gaslighting can include simple things like correcting the story you’re telling by saying you remember the details wrong. But it can also be as sinister as trying to convince you that you are actually crazy by lying to you and making you question your feelings and memories.
To do this, they will try to keep you away from others who can confirm what is really going on. They lie to you and try to confuse you so that you start to doubt yourself.
They will even seek to blame you for things they have done wrong.
All of this constitutes a serious attack on your mental health and can sometimes be considered a form of emotional abuse.
Related : If you get needy and jealous in your relationships, say goodbye to these 10 behaviors
If someone keeps trying to make you doubt yourself, it is very likely that they are manipulating you to gain some advantage.
4) They love to bomb you.
Love bombing may seem like a weird sexual move, but it’s actually a very manipulative behavior that makes you feel good.
At first anyway.
You see, a love bomber will start their relationship with a big bang.
They will shower you with praise and attention. They will buy you gifts, pamper you, and make you feel like the most important person in the world.
Sounds good so far, doesn’t it?
But as the bombardment continues, you can begin to feel a change in its direction.
The person may start demanding all of your time and attention, disguised as “I want to be with you all the time.”
They will probably start escalating things so quickly that it will make your head spin. They want to move in together before you know it. They want you to meet their family. They started talking about settlement.
Yikes!
Falling in love is exciting. Many people are bombarded by love while thinking it is just a natural infatuation. But then they find themselves emotionally overwhelmed, and they may realize they are being manipulated.
See, people love the bombshell to make their partners totally attached to them. But once that happens, things will change dramatically.
They will start to act jealous, possessive and controlling, and that is manipulation. Anytime a partner suggests they feel bad, the love enforcer can point to their past actions to prove how much they love them.
But know that this past is over, and you will never be treated this way again.
5) They feel guilty.
When someone wants something from you, they will use every weapon in their arsenal to get it.
For most manipulative people, guilt is the weapon of choice.
I was once in a relationship with a woman named Lisa. She absolutely loved the house, but at that time, I was doing a lot of sports and going out with friends.
Instead of acknowledging and accepting our differences, she was always trying to make me feel bad for going out and leaving her house alone – even though staying home was what she wanted to do.
This manipulation was very obvious and not very malicious, but it was still based on trying to make me feel bad, so I would do what she wanted.
6) They use emotional blackmail.
Guilt can be considered a form of emotional blackmail, but there are enough other ways that it deserves its own point here.
This happens when a person uses methods of any kind to hit on your feelings and use them to get what they want.
I will give another example from a relationship I was once in.
Danny broke up with me and left me really sad after a relationship that lasted several years. I worked hard to pick up the pieces of my life and get things back on track. I even moved to a new city.
Then, one day, she announced that she wanted me back and was coming to see me. I agreed because, deep down, I still had feelings for her. Or I thought I did.
But when I arrived, and we tried to work things out, I realized my heart had changed.
But she refused to accept it, culminating in one of the worst acts of emotional blackmail she had ever witnessed.
In a rage, she grabbed a knife and locked herself in the bathroom, saying she would kill herself if I didn’t come back with her.
With nothing else to do, I relented at that time.
But it didn’t work out for her. She immediately told her parents, and they came and brought her home.
She was extremely extreme, and used my feelings of care and compassion towards her to try to blackmail me into a relationship, but instead, it pushed me away forever.
7) They play the victim.
Another sign of a truly manipulative person is that they constantly play the victim.
If there is any conflict, they will always portray themselves as the one who was hurt, not the aggressors.
If you try to talk to them about your needs, they will accuse you of trampling on their needs entirely.
They will keep flipping the script to make themselves seem pathetic and deserving of your attention, but remember that it’s all just a deception.
If you recognize these seven signs, you are dealing with a truly manipulative person.
If you want my advice, don’t stay there, don’t even walk away. Just run as fast and as far as you can to protect yourself from being abused by this unscrupulous person!
