Emotional manipulation is an indirect, but harmful form of abuse, leaving victims feeling confused and helpless.
Worse still, while overt forms of manipulation are easy to spot, subtle techniques are much more difficult to recognize for what they are: a way to control you.
If someone is emotionally manipulating you, they will display these eight subtle behaviors.
Don’t fall for their cunning ways.
1) Minimize or ignore your feelings
“I wasn’t flirting with that guy, you’re too sensitive as usual.”
“I never said that; you’re putting words in my mouth.”
“I wouldn’t have to yell at you if you didn’t make me so angry.”
Do any of these phrases sound familiar?
When someone is emotionally manipulating you, gaslighting is a common method of attack.
This style involves denying or minimizing your feelings and experiences to the point where you may begin to question your reality.
By constantly distorting the facts, they ignore your concerns and make you doubt yourself.
In the long run, you will begin to question everything from your perception of events to your memory and even your feelings and emotions.
Don’t let it come to this.
2) Playing the victim
Emotional manipulators often portray themselves as a victim to gain sympathy.
One common tactic is to exaggerate their struggles and portray themselves as having constant hardships.
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They magnify minor inconveniences, painting a picture of themselves as perpetual victims of circumstance.
They don’t overspend; They are constantly bombarded with advertisements, so how can they resist?
Their car did not have flat tires. They collapsed and were stuck and helpless for hours on end.
You found the idea.
By exaggerating their suffering, they seek to elicit feelings of sympathy, making you more likely to grant their wishes.
Emotional manipulators may also resort to guilt to get their way.
They repeatedly remind you of everything they have sacrificed or suffered for you, which reinforces feelings of indebtedness.
Then, you have no choice but to do things their way.
Finally, they may exploit their weaknesses or past traumas, to appeal to your compassionate side.
Whatever option they choose, don’t let them get away with it.
3) Blame
Manipulators often shift blame onto others to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
They may blame you for their problems or mistakes, making you responsible for their well-being.
For a brief period of time years ago, I had a boss who wasn’t a good fit for the job.
He enjoyed the privileges of a leader but shied away from responsibility.
If a deadline is missed or a project fails, he directs his anger at us, his followers, while his poor management skills are usually to blame.
Instead of admitting his failures, he berated us for being incompetent and lazy.
Needless to say, he did not last long in this position.
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When someone manipulates you into accepting blame for their problems, your self-confidence takes a hit.
Protect yourself.
4) Giving you the silent treatment
The silent treatment is a deceptive form of emotional manipulation, especially in the context of a romantic relationship.
Unfortunately, it’s also a frequent tactic used by manipulators to punish you for perceived wrongdoing or to take control of the situation.
They ignore you in the hope that their silence will make you finally give up.
When one partner refuses to engage in dialogue, it creates a deep sense of emotional distance and isolation, making the other partner feel rejected.
The desire to regain intimacy prompts you to give in to your partner’s silent demands or apologize for something you are not responsible for.
This effectively undermines the foundation of trust and communication on which a healthy relationship should be built.
