Narcissism is a personality disorder that affects individuals’ ability to form and maintain relationships. A narcissistic mother can have a lasting impact on her daughter’s life, leading to difficulties forming healthy relationships with others, low self-esteem, and an increased likelihood of developing the same traits as her mother. But the question is: Do daughters of narcissistic mothers become narcissists themselves?

Do daughters of narcissistic mothers become narcissists?
The answer to this question is complex.

While it is true that daughters of narcissistic mothers are more likely to develop narcissistic traits than those whose mothers are not narcissistic, it is not inevitable.

Recent research has shed light on this topic and revealed that although some traits may be genetic, it is not inevitable that daughters of narcissistic mothers will become narcissists.

In fact, he has found that children are often very resilient, and that many daughters of narcissistic mothers are so appalled by their fathers’ behavior that they do their best to avoid becoming like their mothers when they grow up.

However, it is important to note that even if the daughter does not become a narcissist herself, she is still bound to struggle with the effects of growing up in such an environment.

How do narcissistic mothers deal with their daughters?

Narcissistic mothers are emotionally abusive towards their daughters. While some regularly belittle or berate their daughters for not meeting their impossible expectations, others use gaslighting and emotional manipulation as tools of control.

Controlling behavior: Narcissistic mothers often try to control their daughter’s life, from what she wears and how she acts to who she befriends and where she goes.

Emotional Manipulation: A narcissistic mother may often pit her children against each other, lie outright in order to maintain control, or manipulate her child into doing something she wants.

Verbal abuse: A narcissistic mother will often verbally abuse her daughter, belittling her, scolding her, and punishing her for things that are not necessarily her fault.

Expectation of Perfection: Constant criticism is one way narcissistic mothers strive for their daughters to reach an unattainable level of perfection.

Gaslighting: This psychological manipulation technique is used to make a person doubt their memory, perception, and even sanity by placing blame on them. It is as perfect ammunition for an emotionally abusive father as a narcissistic mother.

Forbidden Boundaries: Narcissistic mothers rarely allow their daughters to set any boundaries because they see it as an affront to their power and authority over them rather than respecting them as individuals with rights of their own.

How do narcissistic mothers affect their daughters?

Narcissistic mothers can have a profound and long-lasting impact on their daughter’s sense of self-worth, emotional stability, and relationships.

The effects of an emotionally abusive upbringing caused by a narcissistic parent can be wide-ranging, with daughters often struggling to overcome feelings of guilt, shame, insecurity and fear.

Low Self-Esteem: The daughter of a narcissistic mother may suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem, constantly feeling undervalued and not good enough in her mother’s eyes.

Guilt and shame: Feeling guilty for not meeting their mothers’ narcissistic expectations can lead daughters to feel like they didn’t do enough, even when they did.

Anxiety and depression: The feelings of insecurity and doubt caused by growing up with a narcissistic mother can manifest in physical symptoms such as lack of sleep, stomach problems, or even anxiety attacks.

Difficulties in relationships: Growing up with a narcissistic parent can make it difficult to form healthy relationships later in life due to trust issues, fear of rejection, and difficulty connecting emotionally with others.

Lack of independence: A daughter raised by a narcissistic mother may struggle to make her own decisions outside of her parents’ control, leading to feelings of inadequacy or helplessness when faced with making choices on her own.

How narcissism is transmitted

Genetic predisposition

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is known to be genetically linked, which means that children of a narcissistic person are more likely to develop the disorder themselves.

Research shows that having a parent with BPD increases the risk of developing the disorder by up to 6 times.

Additionally, a 2012 study found that up to 75% of people with BPD reported that at least one parent also had the disorder.

So, genetically, there is actually reason to say that there is a greater risk for daughters of narcissistic mothers to become narcissists themselves.

It is therefore important that they are aware of the increased risks and take the necessary measures to reduce the possibility of the disorder appearing in any form.

Methods of raising children

However, it is not only genetic factors that may lead to narcissistic traits. Parenting styles and behaviors also play a role.

The child’s environment plays a major role in the development of his personality. When they observe someone with narcissistic tendencies, children can learn to internalize those behaviors as normal or desirable.

In the case of a daughter living with a narcissistic mother, she may believe that behaving in self-serving ways is acceptable and even expected.

The impact of emotional abuse

In addition, children of narcissists experience higher levels of emotional abuse than those whose parents do not suffer from narcissistic personality disorder.

This abuse can manifest itself in many ways, from verbal contempt to withholding of affection, and can create feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem in girls.

Such distorted views of self-worth often extend into adulthood with extremely harmful effects if left unchecked.

More seriously, it can cause narcissistic injury, leading to the development of narcissistic personality disorder as the child grows.

On the other hand, many daughters of narcissistic mothers are able to recognize their mothers’ behavior for what it is, an unhealthy way of interacting with others, and reject it as adults.

This rejection can manifest in different ways, ranging from refusing to engage in similar behaviors or take steps toward healing past wounds caused by their mothers’ actions.

Ultimately, only time (and good therapy) will determine how each daughter handles her individual situation and the legacy her mother left behind.

My mother was a narcissist, so what should I do?

It is important to note that although these effects are difficult to manage, they are not insurmountable.

With time and effort, it is possible for daughters of narcissistic mothers to work through their problems and build healthy relationships with themselves and others.

Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder, its effects on family dynamics, and its relationship to genetics.

Create healthy boundaries: As an adult, understand your own needs and take steps to create clear boundaries that will help protect you and your mother.

Seek professional help: Consider finding someone who can work with you to process your feelings and help improve your personal relationships.

Find supportive people: It’s important to have people in your life who support you, listen to you without judgment, and will challenge any unhealthy behavior on both ends.

Prioritize self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for dealing with difficult family dynamics or stressful situations in general.

Make sure that engaging in self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or journaling are non-negotiable parts of your daily routine.

Professional therapy can be particularly beneficial because it provides an opportunity for individuals experiencing the effects of growing up in a narcissistic family to explore their own experiences in a safe place and learn new strategies for managing their emotions and building healthier relationships with others.

FinalThoughts – Do daughters of narcissistic mothers become narcissists?

In conclusion, while daughters of narcissistic mothers are more likely to develop similar traits than those raised by non-narcissistic fathers, this is not inevitable.

In fact, it is possible for them to live happy lives without undergoing similar behaviors as long as they work on any unresolved issues from childhood using therapeutic methods such as counseling or coaching.

Furthermore, these women can use what they have learned from growing up in such an environment, such as resilience and strength, to help them create a better life for themselves in the future.