Narcissism, at its core, is a mental health disorder that results in an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy. Unfortunately, this can cause chaos in relationships with family members, especially when it comes to narcissistic mothers and their daughters.

Narcissistic mothers can have a long-term negative impact on their daughters’ self-esteem, identity, and even their physical health. Let’s take a closer look at what these types of mothers do to their daughters.

What do narcissistic mothers do to their daughters?

The narcissistic mother is unable to empathize with her daughter or provide her with unconditional love.

As a result, her daughter grows up feeling emotionally neglected, confused, and empty inside.

Additionally, not having contact with her mother can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity, and depression.

Narcissistic mothers tend to set unrealistic expectations for their daughters and can be very critical of them.

They engage in controlling behaviours, manipulating their daughters’ feelings and emotions.

In addition, they use emotional manipulation or guilt to get what they want from their daughters.

Narcissistic abuse tactics used by the narcissistic mother

Narcissistic mothers have toxic and harmful influences in their daughters’ lives, often using a wide range of abuse tactics to control them.

Manipulation and control. Use a variety of manipulation tactics such as guilt or gaslighting.

Threats of abandonment and withholding of love and affection. When a narcissistic mother does not get what she wants, she is likely to withhold love and affection from her child.

Use comparison as a weapon. Comparing her daughter to other people in order to make her feel inferior or inferior.

Projection and blame. The narcissistic mother often tries to project her feelings onto her daughter, and blames her child for her unhappiness.

Defamation and criticism. The narcissistic mother will often use slander or criticize her daughter to break her spirit and make it easier for her to control her.

The effect of narcissistic mothers on their daughters

Self-esteem issues

Narcissistic mothers tend to be very critical and demanding, always looking for ways to belittle their daughters while simultaneously trying to control them.

This behavior can erode a daughter’s self-confidence and self-esteem over time.

The daughter may find herself constantly comparing herself to her mother in order to live up to her expectations, which she may never be able to do, and this may lead to deep feelings of inferiority.

Over time, the daughter internalizes the constant criticism.

This can lead to her comparing herself to others in an unhealthy way, or engaging in destructive behaviors such as drug abuse or eating disorders in order to cope with her painful feelings.

Emotional damage

The unpredictable and abusive nature of a relationship with a narcissistic mother can lead to profound psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

These severe and long-term effects can be incredibly harmful to individuals who are exposed to this type of treatment during their formative years.

Influence on identity

The narcissistic mother’s need for control often goes beyond mere criticism.

She may also try to dictate to her daughter who she should be or what she should aspire to be.

Narcissistic mothers often have a preconceived idea of “perfection” and try to impose it on their daughters, leading the daughters to stray from their true interests or emotions.

This can ultimately lead to daughters having an identity crisis as they struggle to discover who they really are outside of their mothers’ influence.

This makes girls question their identity and instills a deep sense of insecurity in them.

This can lead them to have difficulty making decisions on their own and to doubt their own opinions.

Absence of boundaries

A daughter raised by a narcissistic mother may not set appropriate boundaries due to the entanglement she experienced growing up.

This can have serious consequences, such as an inability to set healthy boundaries with others and stand up for oneself.

A lack of assertiveness can lead to her being taken advantage of or feeling obligated to do things she would rather not do.

It also makes it difficult for her to say “no” in difficult situations, which leads to feelings of guilt and resentment later.

Difficulties in intimate relationships

Narcissistic mothers typically minimize their daughters’ emotions, which may make it difficult for them to open up emotionally and trust others later in life.

This lack of trust can lead to an inability to form meaningful connections, making intimacy a difficult prospect for these individuals as adults.

However, with appropriate support and guidance, they can learn how to engage in healthy relationships and work toward true emotional intimacy with others.

Interdependence issues

Because of their relationship with their narcissistic mother, some daughters grow up believing that their value comes only from pleasing others.

This can lead to codependent relationships, where the daughter puts her partner’s needs before her own or acts submissively in order to gain the approval of the person she is in a relationship with.

In such situations, it can be difficult for individuals to establish healthy boundaries and recognize their true self-worth.

Inability to defend oneself

A daughter raised by a narcissistic mother may struggle to stand up for herself due to years of conditioning.

Living in an environment where any kind of dissent is met with anger or ridicule can prevent them from speaking up when necessary or engaging in healthy conflicts with those around them.

This can lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, which may cause the individual to avoid expressing their opinions, even if it would benefit them in the long run.

Avoid conflict

Because of the volatile and unpredictable atmosphere created by the narcissistic parent, many daughters learn early that avoiding conflict at all costs is their safest option.

This can lead to situations where they remain passive instead of asserting themselves and standing up for what they want or need.

Over time, this can become a habit of not standing up for oneself, leading to a lack of self-confidence, difficulty making decisions, and a feeling that one’s opinions do not matter.

Addiction issues

Some daughters of narcissistic mothers may resort to using addictive substances such as drugs and alcohol in an attempt to cope with the emotional pain they are experiencing.

This can be a dangerous path towards addiction if not treated properly, and can lead to serious problems such as physical health problems, psychological disorders, or even legal problems.

Effect on physical health

Finally, it is important not to overlook the effects of narcissistic mothers on their daughters’ physical health.

Studies have shown that having a close relationship with a narcissistic parent can lead to higher levels of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline in children as well as lowered immunity and increased risk of developing autoimmune diseases later in life.

A study by researchers at Michigan State University found that adult women with narcissistic fathers were three times more likely than those with non-narcissistic fathers to develop chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, and migraines.

The impact of a narcissistic mother on her daughter’s life

The influence of a narcissistic mother on her daughter’s life is far-reaching and long-lasting.

This can affect the way she develops her relationships with others, as well as how she views herself.

Often, daughters of narcissistic mothers struggle to understand boundaries and set healthy boundaries in relationships because they were not taught these skills while growing up.

They may also find themselves constantly trying to please others – a direct result of trying to gain their mothers’ approval, which never comes.

Furthermore, these women may become dependent on others in romantic relationships or have difficulty forming healthy attachments due to their upbringing.

Other long-term effects include feelings of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, problems with impulse control, and difficulty trusting others as adults due to their experiences growing up.

Tips for daughters of narcissistic mothers:

Cultivate self-love and acceptance. Taking time to appreciate your positive qualities and treating yourself with kindness can help you overcome the damage caused by a narcissistic mother.

Rely on a support system of trusted friends and family. Having people who can be there for you emotionally and give you unbiased advice can be invaluable in times of crisis or difficulty.

Find a therapist or counselor who can help you work through any painful experiences or negative feelings related to your relationship with your mother.

Practice setting healthy boundaries with your mother to limit the amount of emotional manipulation she can exert on you.

Find new, healthier relationships that will boost your self-esteem and provide an emotionally safe environment in which you can open up and build trust.

Realize that it’s okay to feel angry and sad when thinking about your past experiences with your mother, but try not to think about them too much.

It’s important to focus on the present and create a brighter future for yourself regardless of her behavior.

With the right guidance and support system in place, and understanding that they don’t need anyone else’s permission to live authentically, daughters of narcissistic mothers can break free from the cycle once and for all, and create a more fulfilling life for themselves. With joy and contentment.