The experience of divorce can be complicated and emotional, but when the person you are divorcing with is a narcissist, it becomes even more difficult.

It’s difficult to end a marriage without the added challenge of dealing with someone who refuses to take responsibility for their behavior or acknowledge any wrongdoing on their part. But even if the odds seem against you, there are ways you can make the process easier.

Preparing for a narcissistic divorce

It may be helpful to start preparing for divorce as soon as possible by gathering all relevant documents. This includes financial records, emails, text messages, and other evidence that may be useful in court.

Gather these documents in a safe place where the narcissist will not be able to destroy or tamper with them. This will protect you from any false claims from your narcissistic partner during the divorce proceedings.

Know your rights and prepare yourself financially

The first step when dealing with a narcissist during a divorce is to know your rights and prepare yourself financially.

A narcissist will use every trick in the book as leverage in the divorce process, so it is important for you to know your financial situation and what assets are at risk.

Make sure you have a full understanding of your financial situation before entering into any discussions about the terms of your divorce. You should be aware of your rights regarding division of assets, alimony, child support, and any other financial arrangements that may come into effect during the divorce proceedings.

Hire a good lawyer

When going through a divorce with a narcissist, it is important to have an experienced attorney who can handle the obstacles the narcissist is likely to throw at you during this process.

A good lawyer will provide advice on how best to handle negotiations. They will also ensure that all aspects of the settlement agreement are fair. Read everything and ask questions. You should understand the facts and terms of the divorce agreement to avoid any nasty surprises.

Additionally, having an attorney present will ensure that any tactics used by your spouse’s attorney will not go unnoticed or unopposed.

Be prepared for emotional manipulation

Narcissists often use emotional manipulation as part of their tactics during negotiations or during court appearances. They may try to play on your feelings or try to make some aspects seem more favorable than they really are in order to gain an advantage during negotiations.

It is important to remain calm and collected while dealing with this type of behavior, and not get drawn into any arguments or discussions.

It can be difficult to control your emotions when dealing with a narcissist during a divorce, but this is essential if you want to avoid an unnecessarily long and expensive process.

While it may be tempting to respond angrily or attack the narcissist, keep in mind that doing so will get you nowhere. In fact, this will only complicate matters.

The best approach is to remain level-headed and focus on resolving any disputes amicably. If necessary, consider seeking professional counseling or mediation services to help manage your emotions throughout the process.

Dealing with lies and psychological abuse

Divorcing a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting and overwhelming. You may end up having to constantly defend yourself against their accusations or manipulations.

It’s important to remember that no matter what they say or do, they can’t hurt you unless you let them. So be strong and focus on your goals.

Prioritize your children’s well-being

If you have children, you need to think seriously about how you will support them before, during, and after your divorce from a narcissist.

Explain the situation in an age-appropriate way. Make sure your children know that the divorce is not their fault and reinforce positive messages about their worth.

Encourage them to talk about their feelings to understand and process them.

Reassure them that they will always be loved, even if you and your partner are no longer together.

Let them know they can reach out to you or another trusted adult if they need help getting through this difficult time.

Make sure they feel secure by providing structure, consistency and routine in their lives during the transition.

Provide opportunities for your children to see their other parent in order to maintain relationships on both sides.

Schedule regular visits with a qualified therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support during this difficult time.

Develop a parenting plan that specifies which parent will take on responsibilities and tries to be as consistent as possible.

Teach them healthy coping mechanisms such as journaling or mindfulness exercises, so they have tools to manage emotions and cope with stressful situations.

Focus on building a better future

It can be easy to get caught up in negative thoughts when divorcing a narcissist, but remember that this is just one chapter of your life, not the entire book!

Focus on building a better future for yourself by envisioning what life could look like after your divorce is finalized. Think about all the opportunities that may be waiting for you once this chapter is over, and use these positive thoughts as fuel to move forward and overcome any obstacles that may arise during this time.

Take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal
Divorce from a narcissist can be painful and stressful. It is important to realize that healing is necessary to move forward and to protect yourself from further harm.

Here are some helpful ideas on how to take care of yourself during and after a divorce from a narcissist and begin the healing process.

Look for emotional support. Don’t go through this difficult time alone. Reach out to trusted family and friends for comfort and validation. It may also be helpful to join a support group, so you can talk with others who understand what you’re going through.

Practice self-care. Take good care of your physical and mental health, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising regularly, and managing stress levels. Spend time doing activities that make you happy or relax, such as reading, meditating, or spending time outside.

Avoid contact (if possible). To protect your peace of mind, set boundaries with the other person if possible, such as limiting contact or avoiding contact altogether when needed.