Sometimes it happens that our partner or we prioritize ourselves and our feelings over the other person’s feelings. But that doesn’t mean they (or we) are narcissists. It could be mood swings or a healthy dose of personality traits like selfishness and not a manifestation of narcissistic personality disorder.

So what are the signs of narcissistic personality disorder?

The word “narcissist” is used widely these days, especially when a relationship ends badly. However, there is a difference between a selfish person and a serial narcissist.

A narcissist is someone who idealizes themselves to avoid feeling or being seen as their true self. Deep inside that fake persona, there is a narcissist, who is a very fragile person.

This is one of the reasons why relationships with narcissists are so harmful: these people are primarily concerned with maintaining their self-image and never care about how they affect others. Those in a relationship with a narcissist often suffer from narcissistic abuse, which they inflict emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, spiritually or sexually, says author and licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer.

For this reason, if there is no give and take in your relationship, or if the person you are seeing exhibits any of these traits, it may be best to end your relationship with them.

It’s true that every breakup is painful and stressful to some extent, but breaking up with a narcissist can actually have a positive effect on you.

Here are seven positive changes you may experience when you get over a breakup with an abusive ex who has narcissistic personality traits.

Here are 7 things that happen when you are finally free from psychological harassment:

You can focus on your life
Sex therapist Stephanie Threadgill explains that a constant need for attention triggers most narcissism. “Their ego is entitled and seeks approval,” says Threadgill. “They are easily bruised by your failure to notice, compliment, or praise, and they react strongly to being ignored.”

Although narcissists claim to be emotionally independent, they become very emotional and sensitive when it comes to the opinions of people close to them and especially their partner’s point of view about the things they do and whether or not their partner pays attention to these things.

Anything that takes the narcissist out of the spotlight is a threat to his or her ego.

That is why one of the positive effects of breaking up with such a person is that you will not need to listen to someone else’s problems all the time. After breaking up with your narcissistic partner, you are free to pay enough attention to your life and needs. Something that cannot happen when you are in a toxic relationship with such a person.

You can regain your emotional balance
A relationship with a narcissist can be dangerous for your self-esteem because these people are incredibly manipulative. Narcissists feel the need to control others, and this is especially true when it comes to their partner.

According to senior matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin, if you go on a date with a narcissist, you won’t have the slightest idea what you’ll do together. If you make a suggestion, it will be ignored.

“Your suggestion to cook dinner together and catch up on Game of Thrones was immediately dismissed by saying, ‘We’re going out to dinner,’” says Salkin. “There was no consideration or even acknowledgment of your interest in a different plan.”

Unfortunately, the narcissist only cares about how he or she thinks and feels, and could care less about you and your emotions. The whole ego depends on it.

So, ending your relationship with this person is not only a positive outcome, but it is also a necessary step to take to restore your mental health and emotional balance.

Now you can find a reliable long-term partner
All narcissists share one common trait when it comes to relationships, they pursue you intensely at the beginning of the relationship, but eventually, as you become close, their attention begins to wane. Here’s what Threadgill has to say about it.

“Narcissists pride themselves on their emotional independence. Consequently, they view emotional vulnerability as weak, pathetic, and needy and avoid emotional intimacy.

A narcissist can disappear as soon as he starts feeling emotionally attached, and such a partner is unable to maintain a long-term relationship, which is another reason to let him go.

You start to feel good
“A narcissistic relationship is exhausting,” says psychotherapist Joan Bagshaw. “Constantly flipping around your partner to avoid their anger, confusion about what is real, managing preferential treatment, and the consequences of violating rules can all take a toll on you.”

It may be better for you to stop dating a narcissist because now you won’t have to bear the weight of his toxic personality.

You don’t need to be careful about what you say anymore
People who have been in a relationship with a narcissist have felt like they are walking on eggshells all the time because they always need to pay attention to what they say and how they act so as not to hurt their narcissistic partner.

“You have to be very careful about what you say and how you say it,” Bagshaw says. “Narcissists have fragile egos. Their display of overconfidence masks feelings of emptiness. One wrong word, tone, or mistake will set the narcissist on fire.”

Therefore, once you break up with such a partner, you can start behaving normally and being the person you feel most comfortable with.

Here are 7 things that happen when you are finally free from psychological harassment:

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