My husband and I were arguing. I begged him to work on our marriage.
He was angry at my admission of misery and loneliness.
You have done the worst thing you can do to a narcissist. I have inadvertently discovered what makes the most terrifying and dangerous narcissist.
You made my husband angry.
Which means I pissed off a narcissist.
Related: 5 Ways To Help A Narcissist Who Is Ready To Change
Anger is what exposes the narcissist.
This is what pushes the narcissist out of hiding. This happens when the narcissist unleashes his anger.
This happens when the narcissist becomes so out of control that his charm evaporates and his cruelty flares up. The narcissist cannot help himself when he believes he has been wronged.
“I don’t know what to tell you,” my husband said.
“What do you mean?” I said. “Please, we need to go back to counseling.”
He said: “You are the ones who started the war.” “And you will never win.”
“If you believe there is winning and losing in love,” I said. “I’ve already lost.”
I had no idea what was really brewing under the narcissist’s facade.
I didn’t realize that I had really started the war. I thought my husband was simply using a phrase. I thought those were the words of an angry man.
A man with a long history of non-negotiations.
A man who has no ability to compromise.
A man who was controlling and relentless.
I’ve exhausted myself for longer. I tried everything – I begged, begged, talked down, overtook, fussed, screamed, and cried.
Related: 8 Signs That You, Yourself, Are A Narcissist
My husband didn’t hear me. Does not care.
I continued to go to marriage counseling on my own. He refused to return.
I didn’t realize that the narcissist was seething with rage.
I didn’t understand that this wouldn’t turn off.
I thought divorce would be a solution and not a term for retribution.
It took me five very long and abusive years to divorce a narcissist.
The narcissist’s anger never subsided or abated at any time. My husband was cold, cruel and horribly abusive.
Worse still, the narcissist felt justified.
I deserved it because I started the war.
