Some people may say that narcissists cannot change, but I think they are wrong. However, there is a basic fact that you should consider before trying to change a partner you have labeled as a narcissist.

No one embraces change unless they have a stake in the happiness and personal growth it will bring, and your selfish need for control and power will likely resist you every step of the way.

In other words, in order to change a narcissist, your training must be their idea. You’re wasting your time if they’re not 110% on board and the frustration and resentment that follows isn’t worth your effort.

Additionally, your relationship must be safe, and tolerating abuse while hoping for change is counterproductive. It reinforces the very thing you want to change. If your partner is reactive and intimidating, it is best to exit the relationship and encourage them to seek support from someone else.

Finally, changing a narcissistic partner can be difficult because they rarely acknowledge that they are the problem. However, your person may be at “rock bottom” and willing to take responsibility. Just be careful that their apparent willingness is not a trick to tie you back.

Questions you should ask yourself while trying to change a narcissistic person

Is this person really a narcissist?
If you decide you have a coachable partner, find out whether he or she has a diagnosis of narcissism, whether his behavior stems from negative and difficult relationship dynamics, or whether his actions are a reflection of a self-absorbed culture and society. .

Your help for a diagnosed narcissist will be limited to the aspects of narcissism that he or she is willing to address. During training, the change that stems from the vulnerable dynamics between you will necessarily include and involve your change. A partner who has adapted to society and become self-absorbed will also benefit from a holistic approach.

This means that defining who, how and what changes is crucial.

Is your partner a narcissist or are you simply in a toxic relationship?
It is important to be careful when describing someone as a narcissist, because it is a mental health condition that can only be diagnosed by qualified psychiatrists or psychologists after comprehensive assessments and clinical interviews.

Let me share an anecdote from a recent encounter with a patient who was feeling overwhelmed and confused by a so-called narcissistic partner. After sitting in her chair a short distance from me, she handed me the phone to reveal a text message filled with anger and disappointment, indicating a partner who had lost control of his emotions and lacked the ability to communicate effectively.

In this particular case and many subsequent answers, it appears that the problem was one of deteriorating couple dynamics that led to widespread self-centered behavior rather than true narcissism. It is possible that the challenging environment in your relationship necessitates adopting a “me first and me only” attitude in order to survive.