When it comes to other people’s relationships, we’re all experts on the subject, but when our own relationship is on the line, we have no idea what to do about it.

We are completely ignorant and blind.

Someone else’s relationship is shown to you very clearly.

You can see all the red flags, even the ones that aren’t serious but could potentially be.

You have the ability to discover everything, no matter how small or insignificant.

This is actually pretty cool because the same people who point out others’ faults in a relationship don’t see their own faults.

On the contrary, we believe that our behavior and relationships are impeccable.

We have no idea that our relationship is screaming toxicity and slowly dying.

It’s all because of the things we think are normal.

Because we choose to ignore problems and hope they will go away.

This insanity gets to the point where we begin to believe that these toxic habits are actually good for our relationship.

The illusion completely takes over and the relationship cracks under the pressure over time. Because nothing corrupt can last forever.

Over-communication

Communication is one of the most important parts of every healthy relationship.

But the truth is that you have to draw a line between health and ownership.

In fact, the line is very thin and one can easily stray from it, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

In this honeymoon phase, it’s normal to want to spend every possible second with the person you’re madly in love with.

The problem appears when this excessive communication turns into obsessive behavior.

After a while, one partner will surely get tired of constantly having to talk to the other and tell them their plans and whereabouts.

It becomes an obligation that leads to contempt.

Avoid conflict

After the honeymoon phase begins the phase in which you see certain things and behavioral patterns more clearly.

Maybe some of them don’t suit you, or you want to change them, but because you are avoiding conflict to maintain the peace and loving-kindness phase in your relationship for as long as possible, you are avoiding confrontation.

By doing what you think is best for the relationship, you are making it worse.

By not saying anything, your partner will continue to do what is really bothering you because he has no idea that he is driving you crazy.

But in the long run, it’s better to say what’s bothering you right away rather than try to endure it.

Keeping the things that bother you inside will slowly end your relationship.

It’s a volcano inside you waiting to explode.

The longer the calm period, the worse the eruption.

Result saved

You and your partner are unable to let go of the past.

So, you are actually recording who messed up the most in your relationship.

Obviously, whoever gets drunk the least is the winner.

This is wrong on so many levels for your relationship.

First, you will never be able to solve your current problems if you keep going back to the past.

When one of you makes a mistake, the other shouldn’t gloat or think you’re even.

Also, the person making the mistake should never start defending himself by attacking his partner and bringing up something that he messed up a long time ago.

If both of you continue this behavior, you will fall into cycles that will make your relationship hopelessly toxic.

And second, by behaving this way, you create more pain.

In other words, you are manipulating your partner into feeling guilty about his or her mistakes.

Acting this way is not fair or good in the long run.

Your partner will eventually lose their self-esteem if you continue to belittle them and make them feel bad on purpose.

Comparing them to your “old love”

Your partner may find this funny or cute at first, especially if you remind them as good or better than their ex.

Over time, this can get old, I warn you.

It’s one thing to only talk about your ex at first, but if you keep bringing them up later as well, you’ll have a problem.

Even if you remember your old love poorly, that’s enough.

It’s time for your relationship to move to another level, where no one will mention anyone but you.

A level where only you two matter and no one else.

Just a heads up. At this level there is no room for a third person, not even in memory.

Being passive aggressive

Obviously, passive-aggressive people in a relationship are afraid to be honest with their partner.

They are afraid to say what is on their mind and afraid to speak clearly.

What passive aggressive people do in a relationship is that they manipulate their partner into understanding what they are trying to say instead of saying it out loud.

A person who feels safe and secure with his partner will never manipulate him with his opinion.

A person in a healthy relationship will not feel insecure, nor will he give hints about what he wants.

They will simply ask for it.

sugarcoating

If you or your partner have to walk on eggshells with each other, for fear of saying the wrong thing, it’s not a relationship.

This is BS, pardon my French!

It’s something we have to do every day with different people, strangers in some way, but do we have to do it with our partner too?

Of course we don’t!

If you can’t be completely honest with your partner, your relationship is toxic from the start.

It has no future, so don’t even try to create one.

Don’t beat around the bush, speak your mind.

If they seem upset by your honesty, they are the one who has a problem, not you.

Jealousy disguised as love

Surprisingly, many people define this behavior as love.

What amazes me most is how willingly they ignore potentially very dangerous behavior that could easily turn into emotional abuse.

If your partner starts showing strange behavior such as anger when you talk to someone else, especially someone of the opposite sex, this is a very disturbing sign that more serious problems are about to arise.

Don’t be surprised if they go from “just being grumpy” to start following you around town and checking your phone or emails.

Jealousy is a dangerous disease that can spread so quickly that it destroys a once-happy relationship.

How do we break toxic habits masquerading as normal?

It’s easy to start a relationship, anyone can do it.

The hard part is keeping this relationship healthy and vibrant; It takes a lot of hard work, and most importantly, you should never stop trying.

When you are in a happy phase, it is easy to be happy and keep things positive.

It’s easy to trust someone when everything is going smoothly.

But your relationship will survive through thick and thin if you both keep trying when everything is falling apart around you.

When things go south, staying positive is a real challenge.

It is very easy for a relationship to turn toxic.

It doesn’t take much for things to go wrong.

The final answer to the question of how to get rid of toxic habits is:

1. Stop lying to yourself
2. Understand yourself first, then the relationship
3. Maturity

Here you are.

The three main answers to the question above.

These things may seem simple and easy to do, but they require a lot of work.