They say that love conquers all. But is it really true?
When we first fall in love, we tend to see the world and the person we love through rose-colored glasses.
We do things we wouldn’t normally do.
It has been scientifically proven that a person in love literally feels like they are high (yes, high on drugs) and does not feel physical pain as strongly.
So, basically, when we’re in love, we’re out of our minds. This explains a lot.
Especially our tendency to see our partner ideally.
When we love someone, we pretend not to see their faults.
This is partly because we are infatuated and partly because we know consciously or subconsciously that we are investing our time, love and effort to be with this person and we don’t want to admit to ourselves that maybe we made a mistake.
We don’t want to face reality because the truth is too painful for us.
We are afraid of change, hurt, or becoming single again.
That’s when we start making excuses to our partner and this is the moment when our relationship becomes doomed.
You may be thinking: “They’re going through some tough times,” which actually means they’re not investing in the relationship as much as you are.
The truth is that everyone goes through tough times sometimes, but there’s no excuse to stop putting in the effort.
Other than that, there are more common excuses we make in our relationship because of love, such as:
We believe him when he says he will change.
Many of us have fallen down this rabbit hole. Giving second chances is what we do for love.
We really want to believe that he will magically change, despite seeing his actions forming an unmistakable pattern, over and over again.
Drop the belief and start seeing patterns.
Deep down, you know that actions mean so much more than words.
If he doesn’t practice what he says, he simply doesn’t care enough.
He has unresolved issues from previous relationships.
This is easy to believe. We’ve been there too.
Someone has hurt us before and we need time to heal properly and that is the plain truth.
However, if you are not healing properly, then perhaps you should not enter into a new relationship because you are not ready to face your fears and pain.
You’re not ready to be in a healthy relationship until you’re ready to make decisions despite your past experiences, and this applies to other types of relationships too, not just romantic relationships — relationships with parents, friends, and even yourself.
Issues are not the problem, avoiding confronting them is the problem.
He doesn’t really mean it when he says something.
This is one of the worst excuses you can give a man.
This type of behavior shows nothing but complete disrespect.
No one should tolerate insults, especially from loved ones. This is illogical.
If someone loves us, he cares about our well-being, and does not make our lives miserable.
It’s not just something said in moments of anger or annoyance. It’s a conscious decision that makes us feel smaller. He’s just a man.
Accepting such stereotypes makes their harmful consequences even greater.
Being a man is no excuse and certainly no excuse for disrespect.
He has his own unique personality, the will to change or not to change, the ability to choose between options, etc.
He is not programmed to act a certain way as long as he has his own free will, and he does.
Everything else is just laziness and not caring enough.
If you don’t make an effort, you’re not just a man, you’re just an idiot.
Do yourself a favor and stop working harder at love if there is no reciprocal exchange.
The truth is that you cannot change a man by loving him harder.
We can’t change someone if they don’t want to change in the first place. It’s sad, but it’s true.
The sooner we get rid of the conditionals, the sooner we’ll be on our way to finding someone who actually cares.
After all, perhaps our farewell is exactly what can finally open his eyes to his own shortcomings.
Maybe this is something that will teach him something you already know: self-awareness is the most powerful and profound way to end suffering.
