You knew deep down that it wasn’t love. Love wasn’t supposed to be like this. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt you and belittle you.
Love wasn’t supposed to make you feel less worthy. But your love did.
Your love broke your heart every morning I woke up. Your love hurts you with every message you receive. Your love destroyed you with every cruel word he spoke.
It wasn’t always like this. When you met him, he wanted to give you the world. He wanted you to feel safe and protected.
He wanted to wrap you in His love and keep you safe in His arms, away from evil people, away from the evil world.
Isn’t this every girl’s dream? Isn’t this all you ever wanted?
So, I went along with her. So you accepted to follow him blindly because you saw a ray of sunshine at the end of your dark and lonely tunnel.
Who would have thought he would only drag you deeper in the dark instead of showing you the way out?
He began to change, revealing his hidden ‘rotten’ face one small step at a time. At first it started with complaining: “You didn’t have to do this, you didn’t have to do that…”, but it got progressively worse.
He started yelling at you for everything he didn’t agree with or didn’t like. He wanted you to dance to the music he was playing.
He wanted you to become someone else, someone on his street, a complete stranger to you. He wanted you to be perfect, his little work of art.
And you became too. You can’t recognize yourself anymore. You are no longer the person you used to be.
Little by little, one thing by one, make sure it happens. He corrected you in everything you did.
Even when you had moments of complete sobriety, when you weren’t numb to his words and actions, when you knew you weren’t crazy and you weren’t guilty of the things he accused you of, you couldn’t fight. behind.
He will disarm you at the beginning of your battle.
He will make you believe things that are not true, make up words and give them life, as if they came out of your mouth.
It was hopeless and you were lost, with nowhere to go but to stay there and wait for it to end.
Sometimes, you would apologize for things you never did, just so you could shut him up, just so he would actually leave you alone. You couldn’t listen to him and his screaming anymore.
Each one of his cold and harsh words pierced you to the core of your heart, as if they were old, rusty but sharp blades.
Those painful and humiliating moments are what led you to where you are today, far from it.
Even though you felt like you couldn’t take anything anymore, you didn’t realize that every toxic move he made gave you more power to stay away from him. I know you know that now.
Every time you wanted to leave, he would pull you back. Every time you confronted him and told him he was treating you badly, he would apologize just shut you up, be nice to you for a few days and then the cycle would continue.
Once he sees that you’ve calmed down, he’ll go back to being a complete jerk.
You kept thinking he would change. You knew you fell in love with him for a reason, but you couldn’t remember why anymore.
So, you kept thinking it would change. You kept lying to yourself that it was just a phase and that he would grow out of it. You even tried to help him see that he’s not a good person.
It was all in vain. These people can’t change unless they want to. You can’t do anything about it, so it would be better if you never tried. You should have left a long time ago.
But, it’s okay because you left. Somehow I found the strength and one simple goodbye did it. Finished. It is history now.
You found the strength to accept your relationship for what it was, a pack of toxic lies. Lying and cheating has become more than you can handle.
You simply cracked. And he couldn’t stop there. Not just that he lied to you, he abused you emotionally by making you believe in things that were not true.
He gaslighted you and manipulated you into doing what he wanted.
I found the strength to finally put an end to everything. You have decided that you will not suffer anymore. You decided that you were not going to waste your life on this pathetic bastard who was sucking you dry.
You’ve decided you’ve had enough of it tearing you apart inside.
You have found the strength to finally break through to yourself that you deserve better. You know that life doesn’t last forever and you finally realize that you might be missing out on the right life by enduring the wrong one.
You knew it was time to change that, at any cost. The kind of love you were getting wasn’t the love you deserved, and the amount of love you were putting into your relationship wasn’t repaid, not even a little.
You found the strength to accept that leaving him would hurt you. Of course, you will be in pain. No matter what he did to you, you were used to being around that person.
He was a part of your life for a long time and now he’s gone. Every change is scary, even one for the good. The scariest part is the one that comes right after breaking up.
You’re hurting because you’re alone, not to mention he made sure you felt rejected and unworthy.
You have found the strength to take control of your life. This is the most important thing you had to realize. You finally realize that you need to do something.
You realized that you would refuse to continue living this way. You may now need help from your friends or family, and you may need professional help.
Whatever it is, don’t hesitate to ask, or do something. This is only the first and most important step that awaits you in life. A life without abuse, a life without him.
Don’t let anyone define you and make you look like a faceless piece of dirt.
Don’t allow anyone to create their own masterpiece for you because you are the only one who knows what you need, want and deserve. Never settle for anything else.
