Every breakup is hard, regardless of whether you are in a relationship with a “normal” person or a narcissist. Even if you broke up under normal circumstances, you will find it difficult to deal with the breakup.

But what happens if a narcissist breaks up with you? Have you ever wondered how narcissists treat their exes?

Being the ex-lover of a narcissist is never easy. How is that? Well, a narcissist will never leave you alone.

This article discusses the different, shameful, and cruel ways in which a narcissist acts out and treats someone after a breakup.

How narcissists treat their exes: 12 cruel ways

Dating a narcissist is never easy, but being an ex? Condolences…

If you have been in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, you probably know that the relationship was characterized by narcissistic rage, agitation, feelings of entitlement, and generally narcissistic abuse.

So you can only assume how narcissists treat their coming out if they are like this when they are in a relationship. Here are the cruel ways in which narcissists act towards their ex-partners:

1. Lies and only lies!

We all know the dark personality traits of every narcissist. But how does a narcissist act when he comes to his ex? Is it something different?

The answer is no. They are likely to have the worst behavior toward their exes, regardless of how the relationship ended.

If you, as your ex, finally realize that they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it’s time to move on, and if you finally break up with a narcissist… well, in short: you won’t have any peace.

You are clearly hurting his ego, and we all know how a narcissist feels about his ego. You did something unforgivable, and for that you have to pay. They will seek revenge whenever possible.

One possible method of revenge is lying. Since you made the mistake of breaking up with them and hurting their ego, they will lie about everything.

First of all, they will lie about the breakup. They will say they broke up with you. Additionally, they will lie about how you are in the relationship.

As we continue to explore the dark side of narcissists, we can quickly realize that they are bitter ex-lovers who are always trying to get revenge.

In fact, maintaining their reputation is so vital to them that it makes them more selfish and willing to tell lies to do so.

Moreover, they are free to do anything they think will help them punish their exes.

2. Mind games
   It is very common for a narcissistic ex-partner to play mind games. Mind games are actions or remarks designed to harm, deceive, or confuse another person in order to benefit the individual who uses them repeatedly.

In other words, people who play mind games are trying to psychologically influence you to achieve their goals.

So why would a narcissist play mind games with you?

They want to be in control again. By playing mind games, narcissists begin to manipulate your emotions and make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.

Maybe they saw on social media that you are fine and moving on, or they saw you with someone else and want to get back the emotional impact they had during your narcissistic relationship.

3. Blackmail

Another effective tool in the narcissist’s arsenal is blackmail. Have you ever shown them private photos? Have you ever sent them risky text messages? Have you ever made videos while making love?

Just mention before any unnecessary misunderstandings, there is nothing wrong with designing your sex life however you want.

However, if you are already doing this with your partner, you first need to make sure that he will not send it to anyone or blackmail you after that.

In every romantic relationship, it’s important to build trust and then do risky things.

So, if you haven’t built enough trust by the time you record these videos, you will likely have a problem with your narcissistic ex blackmailing you.

4. They come and go
   You should never trust a narcissist. Especially if they keep coming back only a short time after leaving again.

Does this tell you anything? Well, that’s already a red flag. But let me clarify.

First of all, it might be because they simply love the cycle of love bombing and then ghosting you.

They love the way you fall every time and how you have no sense of self-worth when it comes to your relationship.

Yes, that’s a sign of a psychopath, you see.

It is also common for them to get into a new relationship but the moment they are dumped, they try to get back to you just so they can satisfy their ego.

Please, don’t fall into this trap, and always try to know your self-worth.

5. Can we at least be friends?

Imagine that you have finally made the decision to cut the narcissist out of your life completely. It’s been some time, and you haven’t had any contact. But suddenly they come to you with the idea of being friends.

What’s behind all this nonsense?

In order to use you (or your body) again, they want to keep in contact with you to determine if or when you will become more vulnerable to them.

They will act like they want to resume the relationship and tell you they miss you, but in reality, all they want is to roll with you sometimes.

But besides that, they want to keep the door open because they might need a favor, an ego boost, or help with something.

6. “It’s your fault we broke up.”
   Their narcissism tells them it’s always your fault, even now that you’ve broken up. They will blame you for everything.

They will feel the famous narcissistic rage and will try to control and influence you even after the breakup.

They will not be able to accept that they are responsible for the breakup and that you finally realized what a bad person they are.

Since they lack empathy, you can expect them to say terrible things to you and even threaten you. Take the blame if they want to point the finger at you; It will make them stop talking about you.

The most important thing is that you realize what the truth really is.

7. “I promise it won’t happen again.”

When narcissists are full of tantrums and threats, they often turn around and start making empty promises.

They will tell you what you want to hear and bombard you with promises. They are attending counseling! They have undergone a transformation.

They are not the same person. They’ve learned their lesson and are now ready to give you everything you deserve and more.

They know it’s their fault too, and this time it will be different. This is the initial version that every narcissist will present with false promises.

You should never trust the hype. No, they will not change. They do not think that it is their fault, and everything will be exactly the same or even worse than last time. It is simply another form of control.

They want to trap you in a fly trap so they can start playing mind games again.

8. Damage to reputation
   When a narcissist sees that there is no point in making false promises, he will try to make your life as miserable as possible.

The best way to do this is to pursue your reputation. Why do narcissists bring up their exes? Simply because they enjoy tearing others down.

It raises their self-esteem and fights thoughts of inferiority. So when you break up with a narcissist, be prepared for them to go for the jugular.

Someone with BPD will use any social media platform they can just to put you down. They will seek revenge because you hurt their ego.

They will want to destroy every future relationship you may have.

As well as your relationship with family and friends and how they see you. So, get ready for that.

Have a conversation with your loved ones and prepare them. Fortunately, the period of narcissistic rage usually passes quickly.

They quickly change their strategy or focus on someone else.

9. They use sex to lure you back

You may find it unusual, but trust me, amazing sex can also be a way for the narcissist to come back into your life.

There are many theories about why this happens, both psychological and scientific. However, it is not yet fully understood.

Whatever the reason, they often use their sexual prowess as a sneaky tactic after a breakup. It is their intention to bring you back to their web.

Please do your best to repel their attempts by standing tall! When it comes to sexual intimacy, you should not keep the door open, because they will only use you for these purposes and then leave you.

This can have a serious impact on your mental health and self-esteem.

10. They will underestimate you and your abilities
    Yes, narcissists are master manipulators. Some of their tactics start even in the early stages of a new relationship.

They usually have a specific 3-stage cycle of abuse when trying to stay in contact with their ex.

The first is idealism and love bombing. This is the stage where they will shower you with compliments, gifts and promises.

Well, know that when they take you back, they will start devaluing the currency. In an attempt to belittle and belittle their partner, they will begin to humiliate and criticize you, often in front of others. This will only reduce your self-confidence.

Their sense of superiority will not allow them to do anything different, because they believe they are always the best.

The third and final stage is known as the “ignoring” stage. This happens when the narcissist has met his or her own needs and is now ready to do exactly the same with a new partner.

You have to be smarter than that. They will just use you to get their necessary narcissistic supplies, what about you? You will be bombarded with love and then ghosted.

11. Ongoing harassment

Without me you are nothing. What will you do? I am the best and you will not find anyone else. You need to protect me!

These are some of the classic phrases you’ll hear from a narcissist after a breakup. They will never leave you alone because teasing you will boost their ego and increase their sense of superiority.

Although it may seem counterproductive, narcissists make derogatory remarks because, deep down, they are completely insecure.

12. Emotional manipulation
    Be prepared to receive a great deal of emotional manipulation if you break up with a narcissist.

Your narcissistic ex will use every tactic at their disposal to prey on your vulnerabilities and exploit your insecurities. They often bring up sensitive topics to make you feel uncomfortable.

They will do this clearly and discreetly. Even if you cut it out completely, it may take a few months for it to be completely gone on you.

See also: This Is How Social Media Makes Us Narcissistic

Why do narcissists talk even when they are out?
Narcissists often have a pattern of maintaining contact with their ex-partners in a way that only serves their own needs. Validation is a narcissistic person’s main motivation.

Narcissists are prone to abandonment issues. This could be another reason why they might want to talk to their exes, especially if they value you for one reason or another.

It is also possible that they have run out of new narcissistic supplies, and they know that their ex could always be one of them.

Do narcissists care about their exit?

No, narcissists don’t care about their exes.

All they care about is themselves. They may seem to care about their ex in the initial stage of trying to get him back… At this stage, there is a lot of love bombing, showering them with gifts, flattery…

However, sooner or later, their ex will see that nothing has really changed and that they are the same old narcissists they always were.

How is that? They will soon start humiliating you and belittling you and your abilities. They will do this to rebuild their ego by knowing that their ex still wants to be with them.

Do narcissists go back to their exes?

Yes, narcissists tend to go back to their exes.

Most often, a narcissist will return to their ex-partner if they run out of new narcissistic supplies, because they know that their ex-partner will always make a good partner.

Don’t expect them to ever go back to their ex because of remorse for the things they did and their general narcissistic behavior. Almost always, they’ll come back just for more validation and a boost to their ego.

Last but not least

Being with and dealing with a narcissist after a breakup is one of the most emotionally draining things to do.

Unfortunately, they always have a habit of returning to their past experiences. But how do narcissists deal with their exes? Do they learn their lesson and become better people?

No, they don’t. Narcissists are characterized by a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, and a constant need for validation.

So, if you are an ex-partner of a narcissist, I suggest not letting them back into your life. They won’t change, and their attempt to be in your life again is just to meet their needs.