Uncover why INFJs attract narcissists. Here are some shocking reasons why the kindest of hearts fall to the hearts of cold souls.

Anyone can fall prey to toxic people such as a malignant narcissist or sociopath, someone who has very little empathy with an excessive sense of entitlement, a false sense of superiority, and a tendency to exploit people for their own gain.

The dynamic between empaths and narcissists has been explored in many articles, but what about INFJs and narcissists?
It may seem very strange for one of the most “authentic” personality types to end up with someone who tends to be very inauthentic and outwardly charming, but there are reasons why they may (initially) be drawn towards each other.

INFJ and Narcissists: Let’s talk more about how the INFJ’s empathic traits interact with the narcissist’s traits — and how, like any other personality type, we can be vulnerable to narcissists as well as empowered by what we’ve learned from them. Our experiences with them.

Why do INFJs attract narcissists in romantic relationships?

1. As natural perfectionists, INFJs often strive for “the ultimate relationship.”

INFJs are idealists. They place high value on the few people they invite into their more closed inner worlds. When INFJs seek the ultimate relationship, their heart is in the right place – they only want what they know deep down they deserve – someone who respects and honors them for who they are.

For the INFJ, the toxic narcissistic love bombing (a period of excessive idealization and “grooming” that the narcissist subjects the victim to) may initially represent the pinnacle of the ideal relationship—of affection, adoration, and attention in which they may not otherwise have. He received it from the outside world.

As lovers of communication, INFJs may initially mistake the narcissist’s abilities as a crafty wordsmith as his ability to express their deepest desire for the INFJ.

Once the INFJ learns all the tricks and tools of these charlatans, they are able to distinguish between genuine interest and a false agenda, but like any other personality type, they can be vulnerable to the toxic person’s “false mask” of apparent weakness and weakness. Innocent admiration.

Related: Why Cutting Off Toxic Family Ties Is Good For You? Understanding When To Let Go

There are many ways to grow from this as an INFJ. One might mean continuing to hold true to yourself and your expectations for a good relationship, without expecting that everyone who initially seems perfect might actually be perfect.

In many cases, compassionate love builds slowly, like friendship, and a sudden spark of chemistry and rapid progress does not necessarily represent the health of a long-term romance.

As INFJs, one of our biggest challenges is learning to respect ourselves and our instincts above looking perfect, in order to achieve the real thing.

2. INFJs tend to be natural healers and counselors
   Due to their high degree of empathy, INFJs tend to be natural healers and counselors – which means they may have a tendency to want to “fix” others.

INFJ Empathy and empathy are a huge strength for this sensitive personality type.

However, sometimes INFJs can run the risk of going beyond simply helping someone and acting as a catalyst for their growth and wanting to “fix” an unhealed toxic person who does not take responsibility for their healing.

If you are an INFJ and were raised by narcissistic parents or have toxic partners, please know that it is not your fault that you were abused, whether it was in childhood or adulthood.

Your sensitivity and compassion may have been taken advantage of by a toxic person, but that doesn’t mean that this isn’t one of your greatest talents in this world.

It simply means that we can use our empathy in a more discriminating way toward people who would not use it to advance their own agenda.

Related: Infantilizing Narcissists: A Closer Look at Enabling Toxic Behavior

Know that there are real people who will not take advantage of your compassion and will be grateful for your support. You don’t have to break your own boundaries to meet the excessive needs and expectations of toxic people.

3. The INFJ tries to avoid conflict and is very sensitive to criticism.
   Since INFJs tend to avoid conflict whenever possible, walking on eggshells can become even more amplified in the dynamic with a toxic partner.

Any survivor of abuse can be preoccupied with doing this due to the effects of trauma, but INFJs may be more likely to rationalize, deny, or minimize the behavior of their abusers in order to “keep the peace.”

However, there is good news: the fiery spirit within the INFJ can counteract this people-pleasing habit: they are also so driven to end injustice that they can even go to the other extreme of cutting anyone who displays toxic behavior from their lives without it. second sight.

INFJs can use their stubbornness to their advantage when cutting ties with toxic people if they are willing to face and address the conflict head-on in order to have the healthy life they truly deserve.

Related: The Dark Truth About Narcissistic Predators In Toxic Relationships

An INFJ’s sensitivity can also be used against them to make them believe that any abuse or mistreatment is happening “in their heads,” when in fact their sensitivity is alerting them to potential danger.

Abusive partners, family members, or friends may lash out while also accusing the victimized party of simply being “too sensitive.”

It’s true that an INFJ can be a very sensitive person, but they can also have a beautiful sense of humor and be able to think very critically about themselves.

INFJs are resistant to improving themselves – in fact, their constant improvement is part of their need for constant growth and dedication to maintaining their integrity.

So, if an INFJ truly was overreacting to something, you can bet that they would eventually realize that and apologize for it.

The problem is that when you apologize to a toxic person who constantly hurts you regardless of any lengthy discussions about their behavior, you ignore the inner voice that tells you that this person is not as interested in improving as you are.

You start to realize that you’re not the sensitive one, it’s actually the insensitive ones (and we all know that toxic people can have very sensitive egos and can get angry when they don’t get what they want).

Related: How Excessive Reading About Narcissism Can Perpetuate the Trauma Bond

It’s important to remember that an INFJ’s sense of humor, sensitivity, or desire is not the problem when they see it when it comes to the dynamic between an INFJ and a toxic person.

Instead, their sensitivity allows them to “feel” on a deep, intuitive level when they encounter a toxic person, or even a malignant narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath.

INFJ sensitivity can serve as an intuitive radar for toxicity – so it’s always a good idea to be able to take a step back and notice our reactions to people as an INFJ.

Remember that as an INFJ, you also have a deep connection to your intuition and are perhaps more likely than other personality types to pick up on these feelings early on.

So, what is the relationship between INFJs and narcissists? What does all this mean? This means that as an INFJ, you can trust your inner voice, because it can be your greatest friend and source of salvation from dangerous situations. As a healer, you don’t need to be a constant fixer to change the world.

As a sensitive being, you don’t need to dismiss your sensitivity as paranoia when it is in fact one of your greatest intuitive tools. As an empath, you can still be empathetic to others from a distance.

You don’t have to put up with toxicity, abuse, or abuse from anyone just to keep the peace, because the most loving, compassionate thing you can do for others and the world is to hold them accountable for healing themselves…and by doing so, you can also continue to heal your own life. And the world.