Why do narcissists ruin holidays? Because narcissists deserve attention and love it. Narcissists and people with Cluster B personality disorder thrive at ruining special occasions like birthdays and holidays.
Narcissists and holidays
If you are reading this, it means you have a narcissist in your life. So it’s important for you to realize that narcissistic people love to ruin birthdays and holidays and leave you trying to make sense of all the toxic drama.
However, the truth is that despite your best attempts, you can never understand their narcissism. In fact, you become more confused about their toxic behaviors during Christmas because they tend to become more aggressive.
So you ask yourself, “Why do narcissists ruin Christmas?” You’re left wondering, “Why do narcissists ruin the holidays?”
Simply because they feel empowered by sucking the joy out of everyone else’s life, turning a time of happiness into a time of suffering and tears. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the holidays are undoubtedly a very scary time for you.
Narcissists believe that the holidays are a great time to make a special effort to spread their poison by distorting cultural expectations and norms around the holidays. They will start pretending to be warm and cheerful and find amazing ways to manipulate, control and hurt you.
Regardless of whether you celebrate the holiday or not, they will never miss this opportunity to feed their fragile ego and almost non-existent self-esteem.
Related: Covert Narcissist Signs: 24 Signals You’re Dealing With One
Holidays and birthdays are a favorite time for narcissists because such celebrations cause stress, spoil celebrations, and can easily crush your self-esteem and feelings. So, if you’re confused about “why do narcissists ruin the holidays?”, this is your answer.
They don’t want to see you happy. So narcissists ruin Christmas. Narcissists ruin special occasions. Narcissists spoil your happiness and psychological peace. the reason? A narcissist cannot handle your happiness.
Narcissists are masters of seasonal devaluation, especially during celebrations, and use their abusive tactics on the people closest to them. But why do narcissists ruin the holidays?
Because they need to be the center of attention. However, there are a number of other reasons. Since they lack empathy and are unable to handle intimate relationships, they are forced to destroy them.
Why do narcissists ruin vacations?
Narcissists ruin birthdays and holidays. Narcissists spoil the celebrations even if all your family and friends are there to have a good time. It gives them more satisfaction to ruin your happiness than to celebrate the occasion.
Here are some common reasons why narcissists ruin birthdays and other special occasions:
- Narcissists hate intimacy
Holidays are about intimacy and responsibilities. It’s about strengthening connections and making memories by sharing positive experiences. Unfortunately, narcissists hate building healthy, strong bonds with anyone.
Intimacy is something they fear because it requires them to care for others and take responsibility for them. Intimacy makes them anxious and unable to deal with being vulnerable. Since this anxiety triggers their fight-or-flight response, they either flee or ruin vacations for everyone.
- Narcissists lack empathy
The holidays are about giving and sharing happiness. But narcissistic people can never experience the joy of making others happy because they lack empathy.
Moreover, they don’t like to waste their time celebrating someone else – whether it’s their birthday, graduation, or promotion.
Instead, they feel envious and jealous because people celebrate someone else’s achievements and not their own. When this experience becomes unbearable for them, they destroy everything for others. This is one of the most honest answers to the question – why do narcissists ruin vacations?
Related: Give Your New Relationship a Fighting Chance After Narcissistic Abuse
- The desperate need for attention
It doesn’t matter if the attention they get is good or bad.
If you don’t celebrate the narcissist’s glorious existence, they will make sure to get your attention by hurting others.
When it comes to holidays and celebrations, if it’s not all about the narcissist in a positive way where they get all the attention, they will become toxic and make it all about them in the most negative way possible. All they want is attention.
- Narcissists love misery
When we try to figure out why narcissists ruin vacations, we have to take into account the fact that they thrive on misery. It’s like their default setting. They thrive in misery. Hence, when they find an environment full of love, joy and positivity, they do their best to make it miserable.
These are toxic individuals who spread their toxic energy to others and make even the happiest environments miserable. Ruining your happiness is like winning a Nobel Prize to them. This is why a narcissist ruins birthdays and holidays.
Related: Exploring the Genetic Influences of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- A new source of narcissistic supply
Are you still wondering why narcissists ruin birthdays and holidays? That’s because they need admiration and attention from the people they depend on. Narcissistic supply is why narcissistic people often cancel dates or vacation plans at the last minute.
Although they may have had enough of the narcissistic supply, the alternative and new display makes them feel aroused and excited. These are the newest and invincible ones they need to control.
So when you find yourself excited about a particular event or occasion, the narcissist will step in at the last minute to ruin it for you. They simply love to raise your expectations and then disappoint you.
What can you do about this?
Holidays and birthdays with a narcissist are a nightmare. The narcissist doesn’t care if an event or holiday has special meaning to you. They just want to see you as miserable as they are. They are twisted, sick individuals who will do anything to suck the happiness out of you.
But is there anything you can do about it? no. No matter what you do, the narcissist will never completely change, even with treatment. You can only change yourself.
Here are some things you can do to overcome the abusive behavior of narcissists when wondering why narcissists ruin the holidays:
- Don’t buy into their toxic drama
Narcissists and birthdays never go hand in hand. When you interact with a narcissist, you make them feel powerful while affecting your own mental and emotional stability.
Simply refuse to play their toxic games. Stay positive and stay busy with your own things. Don’t let them affect your mood and emotions. Avoid taking their toxic words and behaviors personally and focus on your vacation plans instead. It’s also important to remain flexible with how you celebrate the occasion.
- Stay away
The moment you realize that your narcissist’s toxicity is ruining your vacation, you need to start taking care of yourself right now. Simply stay away and avoid them. Realize that you cannot change another person, however, you can fully control your thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and choices.
Just get out of the room or even the house. You do not have to put up with their abusive behavior in any way. When you choose to walk away, you won’t ask, “Why do narcissists ruin the holidays?” What length? You will be free from their abuse.
Related: The Illusion of Healing Emotional Trauma: Why Freebies and Videos Aren’t Enough
- Don’t invite narcissists
No matter how close they are to you, if you think they can’t be trusted and might spoil the occasion for everyone, don’t invite them at all. Be strong and brave enough to say no, explains Soul GPS’s Ewa.
If you think the narcissist might secretly insult others, simply remove his name from the guest list.
- Create strong boundaries
Narcissistic people hate personal boundaries. But these same boundaries can protect your emotional and mental health and the safety of your loved ones.
Setting strong boundaries is crucial to protecting yourself from mental, emotional, and even physical damage. But remember, boundaries are meant to control your behavior, not the other person’s behavior.
