When you’re upset, everything around you seems to make your day worse. Noises, smells, food, people – anything at all that makes you feel uncomfortable or agitated.
Why is this happening? What are the reasons behind our anxiety, and can we do something about it?
How do you know when you are feeling upset?
We all deal with experiences differently, but most people have a similar feeling when they feel upset. This can express itself as follows:
Feeling short-tempered and irritable.
Lack of patience.
Anxiety and nervousness.
Inability to be positive.
Desire to be alone.
Whatever your experience, discomfort is not a pleasant feeling, so trying to figure out how to get rid of these feelings and move forward is essential.
5 reasons that might make you feel upset
You might be surprised by some of the reasons we get upset – and they’re usually unrelated to the unfortunate target of those negative emotions!
- You take on too much.
Whether in your workplace, personal life, or family dynamic, if you are carrying too heavy a load, you are always under stress.
This can leave us feeling constantly anxious and on edge. This is because we know in our hearts that there is no sensible way to handle the number of jobs, tasks, and projects we burden ourselves with.
Not having time for ourselves, constantly rushing from one place to another and not having time to stop and take a break, puts us in a constant state of “fight or flight”, where anxiety ends and we turn towards whatever – or whomever – it is unfortunate to be closest to.
- Your expectations are too high.
Everyone wants a perfect life – until we realize that such a thing does not exist outside the social media arena!
When you feel driven to achieve perfection in any aspect of your life, you’re setting yourself up for frustration when nothing quite lives up to the ideal you have in your head.
This can apply to anything from wanting to have the perfect family day out and letting you know when the kids are misbehaving, to wanting to get an A at work, to discovering that you have some areas you can work on.
If you set impossibly high standards, you will go from one disappointment to another and set yourself the impossible task of achieving perfection.
When we start telling ourselves that things are not good enough, this becomes a cycle of internal criticism. Your internal dialogue is vital to the way you experience the world and the way you communicate.
If something doesn’t meet the gold standard, you’ll start to feel annoyed, disappointed, and frustrated. And everything that comes your way seems to contribute.
- You need to reconsider your boundaries.
I’m very guilty of this – I have a certain number of hours a week dedicated to a specific piece of work and I start with firm boundaries around when and how I’m available to discuss and consult on new projects.
This starts with responding to messages during those allotted times and not getting dragged back while dealing with other commitments.
However, over time, these boundaries diminish, and I find myself going back to answering questions more often – until the boundaries disappear, and I’m right back to task-hopping!
Your boundaries apply to every aspect of your life from finding that elusive work-life balance to your relationships and family. When you don’t protect your boundaries, the structure and control you have over your day begins to slip away, and you open yourself up to anxiety and panic as you try to regain control.
- You need some help.
Arguably three of the most difficult words to pronounce in the English language are “I need help.”
We often avoid having to ask for support, because it feels like a sign of weakness, or reveals that we weren’t competent or capable enough to manage something on our own.
This goes back to allowing yourself to overload. If you don’t have the right skills, resources, or knowledge to do something, trying to persevere will only exacerbate your frustration, which will spill over into other areas of your day.
Everyone wants to be confident and independent. But if you don’t ask for help when you need it, you lead yourself down a path of resentment, anger, and irritation.
- You are depressed or anxious.
Depression itself can be caused by any of the above problems, or may be made more severe by any of them. If you’re feeling anxious, exhausted, and frustrated, you’re probably dealing with emotional overload and need support to find your balance again.
People trying to cope with depression may find themselves unable to find any positivity in anything as if they are stuck in an energy-sapping cycle of low self-esteem and seeing the worst in everything and everyone.
Solving the problem that is making you feel frustrated may help you in the short term. However, depression is a serious condition that needs professional support to deal with it and regain your mental health.
How to stop feeling upset
There are some things you can do to turn the situation around and prevent yourself from feeling annoyed by every obstacle that comes your way:
Talk about it. Lighten your load, share your problems and ask for help.
Define the problem. If you’re stressed, tired, or fed up with something, once you address that stress, everything becomes a little easier.
Rationalize your thoughts. You have to decide what thoughts you put in your head. So, if they serve no purpose, try reorganizing your thinking and expectations to bring balance back to this internal dialogue.
Set priorities. Decide what is most important to you and what is not such a great outcome. Focusing on the positive things that bring joy to your days will help you achieve what you need and stop worrying about what you don’t need.
Take a step back. Burning is real, and it’s dangerous. If you need to take a break for a minute or a week, do it. Nothing is more important than your health.
