Learning how to stop being toxic can only be achieved by recognizing your toxicity and practicing more positive behaviors.

I can be toxic sometimes, and honestly, most of us can. But the first thing to do is to take a deep breath. It’s not the end of the world. I don’t like being toxic, and I want to change.

This knowledge of myself makes it easier for me to recognize others who act the same way. Unfortunately, many of them refuse to see the truth and therefore cannot change. But there’s always hope, right? Let’s look at a quick definition of a toxic person:

A toxic person is someone who exhibits behavior that disrupts your life and generates negativity. Most of these individuals are dealing with issues within themselves or unresolved trauma.

Signs that you are a toxic person

Before we get into some ways to stop being toxic, let’s look at you and me. I’m sure we know a lot of toxic people, but have we ever taken an honest look at ourselves? I do not think so. So, here are some indicators that will reveal any toxicity that may be present within us.

1. Pointing with fingers
   A toxic person usually has ego problems. They may project a certain image of themselves to the public, but in reality they suffer from deep insecurities. In response, they will be defensive and try to bring others down. Why do they do that?

Well, this is because they feel that if they can bring others down, it raises them to a higher level. They point fingers at others, place blame and slander the good intentions and names of other people. You feel that everything will be fine if others don’t cause problems. Do you acknowledge any of this?

2. Holding grudges in exchange for peace
   Learning how to stop being toxic means learning how to properly repair relationships. Healthy people may fight but usually feel forced to make amends. This can lead to making peace, communicating the differences that caused the argument, or simply saying sorry to each other.

Toxic individuals hold grudges when they feel they have been wronged. They can go so far as to retain intolerance for the rest of their lives. They will talk badly, refuse to be anywhere near the person, and even do things to sabotage them.

Holding this grudge robs the toxic person of a relationship that could have been repaired. They know what they’re doing, and they have no desire to stop being toxic.

3. Selfishness
   When you are toxic, you only care about yourself and your own needs. Some people are a bit selfish while others are extreme in this regard. Toxicity is when you decide buying new clothes for yourself is more important than buying food for the house.

It could also be about your selfish behavior when you refuse to listen to other people’s problems because you feel like you should be in the spotlight. It interferes with the harmful desire for attention. Which leads me to…

4. The desire to attract attention
   As humans, we all appreciate a little attention every now and then. However, there are some who always crave attention and never seem to get enough of it. This is one of the most common traits of a toxic person.

They constantly buy new clothes, like to take many selfies, and tell people about everything that happens in their lives. On social media, they always put themselves in a good place in all situations. If they help someone, they tell people what they did.

5. The two sides
   In many cases, acquaintances and some friends in a toxic person’s life have no idea how they really act. In these situations, the emotionally unhealthy person saves the toxic behavior for the people closest to them. This is usually the husband. For example, a husband will get angry, lie, manipulate, and slander his wife.

He may even delve into the position of triangulation. This happens when a toxic husband turns other family members against his wife. Unfortunately, the husband will not display the same behavior with anyone else outside the home. In public, he would only be seen as a kind and generous person.

Of course, toxic wives are the same way, just to be clear.

6. Make others feel guilty
   This also overlaps with one of the other features, but it’s worth noting. A person who is behaving badly will do everything in his power to make his “target” feel guilty. There is always a target individual who receives negative energy.

No matter what happens, if you are toxic, you will belittle others so much that they feel guilty all the time. The truth is, most of this guilt is either made up or your fault.

7. Control and manipulation
   If you are toxic, you are the puppet master. You are always in control, and if you start to lose that control, you resort to manipulation to regain it. You should always keep people in place until you feel comfortable. You simply fall apart when someone wants to have a mind of their own.

How to stop toxins?

There are several ways you can start your journey towards good mental health. While there are some serious causes of toxic behavior, and these causes are difficult to treat, most toxic behaviors can be stopped. This is if the person who uses these behavior patterns wants to be better. This is the key.

Here are some ways to stop:

Facing the problem

If you suddenly realize that you might be a toxic person, just face it. Don’t try to deny what you’re doing. This makes making changes more difficult. Stop assuming that you never do anything wrong and it’s always the other person. Own up to your behavior.

StayHonest

Maybe you stuck to your behavior once, but then let things slide down that rabbit hole. After you realize that you carry toxic traits, you must stay true to yourself.

Learning how to stop being toxic requires constant monitoring of how you treat others. Since most toxic people lie, you have to learn how to be honest about your flaws.

Take responsibility

Toxic individuals usually like to evade responsibility when it is their fault. People who do this usually do it for a long time. It’s as if they always have this fear of punishment hanging over them, so they lie.

Well, in order to start kicking this terrible habit, you have to constantly catch yourself going astray. When someone tells you you’re doing this, practice not getting angry. You see, when faced with deflection and lies, many toxic people get defensive. You just have to break this cycle.